“No, I’m not.” She smiles, her eyes glinting with more unshed tears. She sniffs softly.
I let her go. “You’re not happy?” I frown.
“I was so sure that I didn’t want to be pregnant, and yet as I got closer and closer to that time of the month, I started to find myself hoping my menstruation wouldn’t come. I wanted to be pregnant really badly, so I finally took a test. I was driving myself insane wondering.”
“It was negative?”
She nods. “Yes. I’ve taken four more tests since, and each one has made me feel more and more sad. It’s been so confusing. My mam is clever about these things, and about relationships, and about me.”
I don’t say anything. I can see that Nia is thinking things through. She looks up at me. “I thought I would go home and be at peace. That I would wake up and smell the salty sea air. That I would sit among my big, crazy family, and feel free and happy. Like myself again, but I didn’t.”
“How did you feel?” I ask her when she goes quiet.
Her lip wobbles. “Sad. More alone than I’ve ever felt. Considering I was shackled to a gate in the pits of hell for a year, that’s saying something. Considering five of my nine brothers still live in our very crowded house, that’s saying something for sure. My mam said something that rang true. She said that sometimes you’re more deeply afraid of the things you want the most. I was so afraid of trusting again, of loving…opening myself up…of giving away control…giving away a piece of myself. I’ve been so afraid of you, Rage. With you, I’d fall harder than I’ve ever fallen.” Another tear escapes, and she wipes it away with the back of her hand. “I’m still afraid. I’m terrified, but the best things in life aren’t always easy.”
“It might be easier than you think.” I smile at Nia. I want to pull her into my arms, to never let her go. She’s still vulnerable, so I refrain. “You might be surprised. What if you don’t fall? What if you rise up? People who love each other lift each other up.”
“That’s beautiful. It actually reminds me of something that Mam would say.”
“I just reminded you of your mother?” I raise my brows.
Nia laughs. “Not even close,” she murmurs.
“I’d like to meet your mom.” I mean it. “She sounds like a clever woman.”
“I’m so sorry I left,” she blurts, another tear slipping out.
“I’m not,” I say.
Her eyes widen. “You’re not? Shit! I’m too late. I’ve hurt you too badly. You realized that you don’t love me. That’s it.”
“That’s not it at all,” I tell her. “I’m glad you left because you needed the time to figure this out. I’m just glad it didn’t take months…years.”
She smiles, and it’s so sweet I feel myself getting warm inside. I scoffed at Bolt, Night, and the others for how sappy they became. Here I am ten times fucking worse. “Does that mean that you’re willing to give us a chance? I didn’t screw up too badly for—”
I put my finger over her lips. “You didn’t screw up a single thing. Did you find yourself?” I cup her cheeks.
Nia looks deep into my eyes. “I certainly did. Here I am.” She smiles, and it’s radiant. I think she sees her reflection in my eyes. “I’m right where I need to be. I’m home. Are you going to kiss me?”
“I thought you’d never ask.” I slant my mouth over hers. I moan because I’ve never tasted anything so sweet. Nia grips me tightly and moans as well.
I pour everything into this kiss. It feels amazing to have her in my arms. Nia is mine, and I am hers. I’m so grateful she’s trusting me with her love…her heart.
We eventually pull away. Her eyes are hazy. “Sex,” she says. “I also missed good sex.”
I laugh, picking her up. “I’m so glad you won’t need to be celibate, especially since you have one hell of a pussy. Would have been a shame.”
She laughs, slapping me lightly on the arm as I put her down on my bed. Then we’re frantically removing each other’s clothing, and I’m between Nia’s legs, licking and sucking on her clit until she’s scratching the shit out of my back.
She’s still on her back when I cage her with my body. I remember that we need protection. “Hold on a second.” I jump off the bed, almost falling on my face.
Nia giggles. Then I’m pulling out my wallet. I still have the one I didn’t use from when we were together. “Yes!” I say as I find it. I tear it open and slide it over my cock in one smooth motion.
Then I’m crawling back between her legs and rubbing on her clit. Nia moans, “I want you…now.” She sounds breathless.
I push inside her tight, wet heat with a hard grunt. “You feel…holy fuck…you feel good.” I try to keep my weight off her. Our eyes are locked on one another. I’m grinding into her.
Nia has her ankles crossed behind my back. She’s breathing hard…making noises that drive me fucking wild. Her nails are still clawing at me. “Yes…more…oh…”
I lean in and kiss her. It’s my new favorite thing…fucking the woman I love while kissing the hell out of her. “Nia,” I whisper against her lips.
I can feel her pussy fluttering around me…tighter and tighter. Her eyes are widening up. I take back her mouth as her orgasm hits. Her pussy clamps down on me. She bites my lip.
I come hard. I see fucking stars. I roar and grunt. I say her name a whole hell of a lot. Her legs are over my shoulders. Her head is thrown back. I’m still moving…still rocking into her.
I lean down and bite my girl’s throat. It’s a soft nip…not hard enough to draw blood but enough to have her clamping around me a second time. Her eyes go wide with shock and with pleasure. She yells my name and then groans hard. I feel her shuddering underneath me. I don’t pick up the pace. I draw out her second orgasm. I kiss her neck. I kiss her mouth.
I see my reflection in her eyes. I see her, “There you are,” I say. I’m whole again.
28
Nia
Two months later…
I thought the house I grew up in was a madhouse. It was nothing compared to this one right now.
“Uncle Tri is coming for you.” Trident is on all fours. He’s growling and snarling, pretending to be some sort of wild animal. He’s chasing after little Harley, who is laughing her head off.
Harley is Night and Shannon’s daughter. She can’t walk yet, but she can crawl at a startling speed.
“Ta…Ta!” Forge and Ava’s little boy yells. I think he is trying to say Tri’s name. The toddler is still unsteady on his feet, but that doesn’t stop him from trying to climb onto Tri’s back.
“Bruce!” Trident booms. “You little rascal.” He picks up the little boy and places him on his back, holding him with one hand. Then he proceeds to chase the squealing girl; he’s still on all fours.
Bruce screams with glee.
“My ears are bleeding,” Rage says. He’s smiling, so I can see he doesn’t mean it.