She studies me. “What happened to get you so pissed off all of a sudden?”
I stare at her, debating on what I should say. Should I tell her I’m mad as hell Allison is sleeping in Aiden’s bed? Do I tell her Allison is all I can think about since meeting her yesterday? Do I tell her I feel like my world is spiralling out of control? No, I can’t tell her any of those things. I’m not so sure she’d believe me anyway. Hell, I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around it. I’m losing my fucking mind!
“I’m fine, Hales, go to sleep.”
“Liam, come on, I’m your sister. I know you better than that.”
“Hailey,” I warn her.
“I’m not ten anymore, Liam. You don’t intimidate me. What the hell happened between the kitchen and now?” she continues to question me.
“Drop it, Hales, I mean it.”
“No. Tell me what’s up with you. We were all having a great time, and now all of a sudden you’re Mr. Pissed-Off, and I want to know why,” she insists.
“Fine, you want to know what’s wrong. Allison, that’s what’s wrong, okay? Now. Go. To. Sleep.”
Hailey looks confused. “Allison? Why, what did she do to you? She’s the nicest person I know.”
“Fuck,” I grumble. “She won’t get out of my head,” I admit as I pull my pillow over my head.
There’s complete silence following my outburst, and I think that maybe I’m lucky and Hailey has decided to leave well enough alone and has fallen asleep. I pull the pillow from my face and look over at her. She is staring at me. “You like her, don’t you?”
“No…yes...Fuck, Hales, I don’t know, okay?”
Hailey’s grin spreads across her face. “Hot damn, I knew when you finally fell, it would be hard. I never dreamed I would have a front row seat in the action.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“You, dumbass. You refuse to get serious about anyone. All that matters to you is football. You hook-up. You get a reputation as a player and you keep at it, like it’s no big thing as long as you get yours and have football.” Hailey nudges my shoulder. “Until now, that is,” she adds, still grinning like the cat that ate the fucking canary.
She isn’t done. “Not only do I get to witness this wondrous revelation take place, but since it just so happens to be with my roommate, I’ll get an up close and personal view of my big brother, the player, falling for a girl.”
“What? That’s crazy. I’m not falling for her. I’m just extremely attracted to her, that’s all. It’s been a while since I’ve hooked up. I just need to remedy that and all will be back to normal. So, don’t go spouting off crazy shit like that. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Whatever you say, big brother, whatever you say.” Hailey smiles as she rolls over and falls asleep.
I lie here, for what seems like hours, staring at the shadows on the ceiling. My mind keeps drifting back to Allison and her gorgeous dark brown hair, and those big, beautiful, emerald green eyes. I also think about her being wrapped up in Aiden’s arms and feel resentment sweep over me. It’s almost four in the morning the last time I look at the clock before falling asleep.
A few hours later, my internal clock wakes me up. I’m used to getting up early to either run or hit the gym. I slip out of bed, careful not to wake Hailey. I’ll let her sleep a little longer, but we have to be at our parents’ house for lunch at one.
I walk down the hall to the bathroom to relieve myself, before heading to the kitchen to make a pot of coffee. I glance over at the couch and discover Blitzen has already left. As I walk into the kitchen, I have to blink to make sure my eyes aren’t deceiving me. Allison is standing at the sink, looking out the window. She’s wearing nothing but Aiden’s football jersey. My feet are glued to the floor. My heart is pounding. Allison is the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. She must hear my racing heart because she turns around and offers me a shy smile.
“Sorry, I hope I didn’t wake you up. I couldn’t sleep. Aiden’s a bed hog.” She smiles and holds up her cell phone. “I took the opportunity to call and check on Gran.”
And just like that my lust turns to annoyance. This beautiful, wonderful girl was sleeping in my best friend’s bed, wearing his jersey. He says she’s like family, but let’s face it, they aren’t related. What if he tried to touch her, and she’s just blowing it off to protect him? Aiden would never do that, would he?
“Did he hurt you?” I ask her, concern lacing my voice.
Allison’s mouth drops open in shock. “What? No, of course not. Aiden would never hurt me. He just likes to hog the bed, that’s all.”
I walk over to the sink and lean up against the counter facing her. Damn, this girl has a hold on me. I reach out and tuck a few loose strands of hair behind her ear. “It kills me to think of someone hurting you,” I whisper to her. What the fuck am I doing? I questioned the morals of my best friend. I know Aiden would never lay a hand on a woman. My mind is all over the damn place. I need to get my shit together.
“H...He didn’t hurt me, Liam. He wouldn’t ever hurt me.” She looks into my eyes, and I’m lost in her again. “Why would you think that?”
“I just—I feel like I need to protect you.” I cup her cheek with the palm of my hand. “Do you feel this, Allison? This pull I’m feeling?” I ask her softly. “Please, tell me that I’m not alone in this—this overwhelming need to be close to you,” I beg her.
Allison leans her face against my hand. “I don’t really know what this feeling is, Liam. I-,” she stops as if to collect her thoughts.
“Talk to me,” I plead.
“I’m not as experienced as you. I’ve never been in a relationship, never been on a date.” She laughs softly. “Unless you count Aiden at his family functions. I don’t know what this is.” She brings her hand up to cover mine against her cheek. “I know I can’t be just a hookup. I know, even though I don’t have the experience, I want more than physical. You can’t give me that.” She closes her eyes. It almost seems like it pains her to say that to me.
“Allison,” I breathe and rest my forehead against hers, “you deserve love and commitment, and nothing less.” I swallow the lump in my throat.
“I want that. I want to love someone with all that I am. It would be nice to have those feelings returned,” she whispers to me. “I feel it too, Liam. I just don’t know how to explain it, or what to do with it. I can’t settle for meaningless.”
“I know, baby, and I don’t want you to.” I kiss her forehead and back away. I immediately feel the loss. This girl is wreaking havoc on my senses and my emotions. No sooner than I pull away, Aiden walks into the kitchen. He walks straight to Allison and kisses her cheek.
“Morning, Ash,” he mumbles as he makes himself a cup of coffee. “Mac, you headed out for a run?” he asks me.
“Yeah, I’ll see you guys later.” I gulp down the rest of my coffee, burning my tongue, and head out the door. I’m turned on beyond belief. I’m pissed off he gets to be close to her, and I’m pissed off because I can’t have her for myself. I don’t have time for a relationship, and she deserves nothing less.