I frowned in confusion. Rene knew as well as I did the next steps in divorce proceedings. He rolled his eyes at my expression.
“Not legally, Halton. With Fee.”
“As you pointed out, her choice.”
“Does she have a job here?”
“If she wants it. I thought you liked her.”
“Very much. She’s a hard worker and makes things easier around here for me.”
“Then she stays.”
“And your personal relationship?”
That was a far tougher question to answer, and I knew I had to proceed carefully.
“I’m something—someone—she needs right now, Rene. Once her life settles, she’ll find the person she is meant to be with.”
He arched his eyebrow at me. “Who is to say she hasn’t already found him?”
I shook my head. “She knows my limitations. I was clear with her. We’re both on the same page. I won’t hurt her, Rene. Once she lands on her feet, she’ll walk away and find her life.”
He stood, staring at me, perplexed.
“When will you find yours, Halton?”
I waved my hand, indicating my office. “This is my life, Rene. That hasn’t changed.”
“No?”
“No, it hasn’t.”
He shook his head and headed toward the door. “For an incredibly smart man, you are extremely dense at times, Halton.”
I glared at his retreating figure but didn’t comment. We had two very different views on this subject. Rene saw what he wanted, what he hoped to see.
My view was based on one thing—reality. He simply didn’t want to accept it.
Fee looked over the papers, studying the areas I had marked. A curl escaped her hair clip, falling over her face, and she pushed it back, sighing when it fell back over her forehead. I thought of last night. My impromptu dance to make her smile and forget all the shit swirling in her head.
I smiled as I remembered the epic blow job and wild wall sex that followed. As always happened with Fee, I got carried away. She brought out the caveman in me, whether it was seeing another man look at her, me touching her body, or simply the thought of her walking away.
I tried not to think of what the papers she was holding meant for us.
She set down the papers and held out her hand. “I need a pen.”
“Are you certain, Fee? We can push back. There’s nothing else you want?”
She paused. “I need to return to the house and get a few boxes from the basement.”
“I can arrange that. Nothing else?”
“No.” She met my gaze with a sad look. “Let it be done, Halton. I need it to be over.”
I handed her my pen. “Okay, Fee.”
Two weeks went by, and nothing changed. Nothing. The apartment I rented for her sat empty and unused, and I didn’t care. Fee was still at my place, sleeping beside me every night, at my side during the day. I knew things would change soon enough, but I hadn’t yet brought up the subject. When she had hesitantly suggested leaving, I informed her I would prefer to watch over her until the papers were complete and Scott was removed from her life totally.
She hadn’t argued.
I refused to delve into my insistence at her staying with me and what it meant. I was simply being cautious, I told myself.
I ignored the laughter in my head that followed that thought.
Late Tuesday afternoon, Jonas reached out to let me know that Scott had signed himself out of rehab.
“A little soon for that, isn’t it?” I asked, feeling anxious at the thought of him out and free to “bump into” Fee.
“He signed himself in freely, so he could leave anytime,” Jonas stated mildly. “He insists he’s fine. Scott knows what he needs to do to stay clean.”
“I hope he stays that way.”
“The papers have been signed. I will courier them over tomorrow, along with Fee’s settlement. Since neither side is arguing, the divorce should happen quickly.”
“Good. I’ll let my client know. I’ll send my bill to you. I’ll have Rene prepare it.”
“Fine.” He paused. “She got her things?”
Jonas had arranged for Fee to have access to the house. I accompanied her, and a lawyer from Jonas’s firm had been present. Fee took six boxes that had her name on them from the basement, which I carried out to the car. I found her in the dining room, holding a small vase, the crystal dull in the light, dusty from neglect.
“Do you want that?” I asked.
She sighed. “Scott gave me this on our first anniversary. I had seen it in a window of a little secondhand shop, and I thought it was beautiful. He filled it with flowers and promised me he would always keep it full.” She traced the rim with her finger, looking sad.
“Another promise broken,” I muttered.
She stared down at the vase. “It’s hard to reconcile the man who swore to love me and never forgot to bring home a bunch of flowers every week with the man I know now. Sometimes I wonder if he ever remembers that I was once important to him.”
I had no response for her.
“Is it silly to want this—to want to remember a time when he wasn’t the man he is today?” she asked, her voice shaking with emotion.
I hated the thought of her having anything from him, but I knew that was my own resentment talking. For some reason, when it came to her, I felt incredibly possessive, even though I didn’t have that right.
“No, Fee. It might be nice for you to keep a good memory. You can take it. I’ll add it to the list I’m sending his attorney,” I advised. “Anything else?”
She looked around and shook her head.
Looking around the cold, austere house, it didn’t surprise me. I saw none of Fee’s warmth in the place. It was decorated to impress and didn’t feel like a home. I was glad when she announced she wanted to leave.
“Yes. She doesn’t need to go back.”
“The house is going up for sale next week.”
I didn’t really care, but I made an appropriate remark back to Jonas. He said goodbye and hung up. I sat looking at the phone, wondering how this would affect Fee. Affect us.
I had my answer the next day.
Fee stared at the draft, holding the narrow paper in her hand.
“This is a lot of money. Is it customary for a person to get the settlement before the divorce is final?”
I shrugged. “Depends on the case. Scott wanted it this way. I wasn’t going to argue since I wanted you to have the money as soon as possible.”
“Have you been paid?”
I grinned. “Rene sent my bill.”
“Should I pay you as well?”
“No, that is part of the agreement. Scott pays the legal fees. He did this, so he is paying. It’s all good, Fee.”
“All right.” She looked back at the draft, still unsure.
“I can recommend a financial person. A woman, actually. I use her. So does Rene. She can advise you regarding taxes and investments.”
She met my eyes. “I’ve been looking at houses online.”
Something strange happened in my chest. It pinched and burned, tightening and making me uncomfortable. I picked up a glass of water and drained it, hoping the feeling would go away.