Chapter 21
March 28
Downtown Halifax
I leave the apartment building to walk to the store with my mask on and hand sanitizer at the ready. A man in a mask waits outside in the courtyard.
“Hey, Lilly!” he shouts and jogs over to me.
“Brent?” I ask.
“Yeah, you probably didn’t recognize me with the mask. So crazy we all wear these now.” We move like we might hug or something but the Covid and the social distancing stops us. The news has worsened over the last ten days.
“How’s it with the lawyers? You haven’t texted in a few days. I thought maybe you were taking some time.” I offer him my foot to shake awkwardly which brings us both more joy than it should.
“It’s all right, ya know. Our legal separation has been sent to her. Now that she realizes she’s getting next to nothing out of me financially, she is hitting with low blows. Had no trouble confessing they were having an affair for fifteen years, and she fucked him on our wedding night. I can’t even fathom that.” He stares at me, exhausted and older than I’ve seen him look. “They were having an affair at our weddings. Like who does that?”
“I don’t know,” I say but the news stabs me in the heart. The whole fifteen years? “Why marry us if they were carrying on?”
“I don’t know.” He walks over to the concrete bench in the courtyard and sits. I stay standing, preferring the distance between us for health safety. “So many things are clicking in though. I’ve caught them both in lies. He would say something offhand about being with me as an alibi, and I wouldn’t know what the hell he was talking about. I would just back him up, ya know? Bros before hos. Like in college.” He offers a sorrowful grimace. “Sorry.”
“It’s fine.” And it’s not the first time I’ve heard that saying.
“He was using me as a fucking alibi while it was my wife he was with. That piece of shit.” He runs his hand through his thick dark hair. “She’s living in your house—Elaine is. I had to send the separation papers there. Thought it was a joke when I saw the address for her, but I guess not.”
“Really?” I can’t believe they didn’t even wait two weeks before moving in together.
“Yeah, I drove past there last night. They were at the dinner table, eating and laughing and I wanted to—” He pauses and smirks. “I shouldn’t say what I was thinking.”
“Brent, I’m terribly sorry this happened. But they don’t deserve one more minute of our time. The only thing they deserve is each other. Eventually, they’ll have an affair on each other. It’s who they are. They’re terrible people who lie and sneak and thrive off the excitement,” I say all the things Shawnee and Liz have been saying to me. “And this will bore them. And when it does, they’ll stray. And break each other’s hearts.”
He lifts his stare to mine. “You’re right.” He takes a deep breath of the frigid spring air.
“Take some time for yourself and heal and when you’re ready, start over fresh. It’s what I’m doing.”
“Yeah, look at you living here. You like it?” He sizes up the building.
“Love it. While it’s not a house and that can be a bit annoying, for now it’s perfect. It’s all I need. What are you going to do? Sell the house?” My heart hurts for him. And me. But mostly for him. This is new. The sting of it is intense in the beginning.
“I don’t know. Stay home and work and try not to drink myself into oblivion.”
“You should see someone, a therapist or someone. Being alone during this won’t help,” I offer. “I know someone. A great therapist.”
“Maybe email me that name.” He surprises me with his reply. “I’m thinking about getting a dog. Elaine hated dogs. I’ve wanted one forever and now that she’s gone, I could rescue one. Not a puppy. I can’t do puppies. I’m too busy. But maybe a middle-aged dog.” He nods and stands. “I was thinking about popping over to the SPCA later to check and see if they have any. I heard they’re adopting fast right now with the pandemic.”
His words hit me as if a confirmation of something I’ve been thinking about for months. Liz has suggested it so many times but I’ve disregarded her. It’s out of character and unexpected but the exact thing I am missing from my life. Companionship. “You know what, I’ll meet you there. I’ll run back in and get my keys.”
“You want a dog too?”
“Cat,” I say excitedly. “I’ve wanted one for years but—”
“Rod’s allergic.” He nods. “Of course. Though that’s probably a lie too. Okay, I’d offer you a ride but I guess—”
“Better not,” I agree. “I’ll meet you there in like half an hour?”
“Deal.” He perks up and we part. I rush into the building to get my keys and down the elevator again to the underground parking to fetch Helen. It takes her a solid minute to warm up.
When she is halfway to toasty, I pull out and drive for Dartmouth.
My heart races and my brain begs for a second to think about this. But I know what I’m like. I’ll never do it if I think. I need to act. For once.
When I arrive there, Brent’s waiting outside with a couple of other people. I park and hurry over to him, staying six feet back.
“We’re next,” he says excitedly.
The SPCA is a cute red building that resembles a barn. I like the country feel of it.
The door opens and a large family leaves with a pair of puppies.
“Everyone must have the same idea. Perfect time to get a pet. We all have time to train and need company,” Brent says.
“That’s true.” My mouth is dry and a weird tingle of déjà vu tiptoes through me. I swear I’ve been here recently but the memory feels funny. Like a dream.
“Okay, you three can come in. Please sanitize your hands and maintain the six-foot distance. If you want to see an animal, one of us will help you,” a nice SPCA lady says.
Brent and I walk into the building behind the lady who was in line in front of us, cleaning hands and maintaining distance.
The SPCA has a weird smell, part cleaner and something else. Anxious animals maybe mixed with kitty litter and an old building.
It’s clinical, like a vet’s office, but not as clean.
“What can I help you with?” the sweet lady who let us in asks me, specifically.
“A cat. I’d like to adopt a cat.”
“Okay. Well, let’s look and see if any of them strike you as your future family member.” She leads me to the left.
I give Brent an excited smile as another lady leads him to the dog area, even though he can’t see my lips. His stare suggests he is beaming back.
The moment she opens the door revealing walls lined with metal cages, we hear the mewing. My heart cracks, maybe because there was already a sizeable fissure started. “We don’t have as many as usual. A lot of lonely people have been adopting, needing company during this hard time.” She hurries to the right and stops mid row, turning around. “These are them. Take a peek and read their write-ups. I’ll be just over here.” She points to a small desk.