“I can’t. I’m sorry.”
Ishmael scratched the bridge of his nose before crawling out of the fort and my heart sank. The last thing I’d ever want to do was hurt him. And even that was odd. Normally my first thought would be hurting my wallets by losing a loyal client. But in this case, I didn’t give a damn about the money.
All I cared about was his heart.
I heard him mumbling about how he was trying to treat me like a lady and not a hoe just because of how I made my money and how he had given me way too much access to his heart over the past three years. That he’s been wasting his time trying to introduce me to a life and love that I clearly didn’t want.
Getting out of the fort, I didn’t know what the hell to say. A part of me was okay with admitting that what he’d said was true. I wouldn’t have felt the need to defend myself if I didn’t care. But I did care. And I was too weak to admit why. Not right now at least, and most definitely not to him.
“Ishmael…”
“Save it, Paradise. I’m only good to you for a fuck and a buck, right?” He nodded as he sucked his teeth. With a clenched jaw, he looked my frame over again, nothing like the way he’d done moments earlier. “That’s clear now.”
But… that wasn’t true. Not all the way. My mind was telling me to go but my feet were leading me over to him. He turned his back to me, and I halted, but eventually started back in his direction. Standing behind him, I thought over what to say. When nothing came to me, I gripped the back of his shirt gently. He didn’t budge.
I wrapped my hand around his arm as best as I could and tugged him in my direction. Ishmael avoided my eyes. He didn’t even bother looking down at me. Doing the only thing I could think of, my fingers went to work on the button and zipper of his pants. He sighed but made no effort to stop me.
As I pushed his pants and boxers down, Ishmael finally looked down at me. I wanted to smile, to thank him for gracing me with his beautiful eyes. Getting down on my knees, I took in his semi-hard dick. My mouth watered as it slowly grew right before my eyes. He may not have wanted to fuck with me, but it was clear that he wanted to fuck me.
Eyes locked with his, I ran my tongue against the back of his shaft. While I wanted to devour him, I decided against immediately taking him fully into my mouth. Instead, I placed a few kisses on his inner thighs and nibbled on his balls until his dick hardened completely. Even then, I merely tongue kissed his head until he wrapped his hand around my neck and squeezed.
I wrapped my hand around the base of his shaft and took him into my mouth. My cheeks tightened around him as I sucked and licked. When my saliva had his shaft slick enough, I began to move my hand up and down, twisting when I made it to the tip of his head.
Every once in a while, I’d look up and meet his eyes, pleasing him until they softened again towards me. With my free hand, I grabbed his balls and massaged them, getting a low groan out of him, which got a moan out of me. I wanted desperately to play with my pussy while I pleased him, but it would have taken too much to get my pants unzipped and panties pushed to the side. So I focused on him instead.
Both of his hands went to the back of my head, and he used them to increase my speed as he fucked my mouth. Ishmael pushed himself deeper into my mouth, down my throat, cursing under his breath as saliva dripped down my chin. He pulled out of me quickly, lifting me from my knees by my neck. Ishmael pulled me into his chest, looking into my eyes silently. Intently.
He didn’t move until I requested, “Handle me.”
As if that was all he needed to hear, Ishmael lifted me into the air and wrapped my legs around him. He carried me to his bed and tossed me onto it gently. Ishmael snatched my jeans down as I pulled my shirt off. Tugging at my panties, he ripped them slightly before flipping me over and putting me on my knees.
I didn’t have much time to think about if he was doing that because he didn’t want to face me or because he knew this was my favorite position. Didn’t matter either way. Just as long as he gave us what we both needed I was good.
A slap on the ass led to a squeeze before his fingers slipped down my cheek and slid between my folds. I felt my wetness coat him as I closed my eyes and waited for more. His finger slipped inside of me, immediately finding the curve that led to my spot. Ishmael’s free hand spread my right ass cheek, and he licked my asshole as he fingered me slowly. Gripping the sheets, I inhaled a deep breath as he massaged the ridges of my spot.
All it took was a little applied pressure there and I would cum within seconds. Bending his finger a little further, Ishmael made the come here motion that had my toes curling and back arching. Before I could surrender to my orgasm, he was pulling his finger out of me just as my walls began to pulse.
I wanted to complain, but the thought of him filling me to the hilt caused me to bite my tongue. Looking back, I watched as he grabbed a condom from his nightstand and put it on. Pulling me to the edge of the bed, Ishmael hiked my ass up, pushed my head down, and arched my back deep.
Pushing himself inside of me swiftly, he paralyzed me with fast, hard, deep strokes. I usually prided myself on being able to not only take what he gave but give it back. Tonight, however, I found myself unable to do anything but whimper and struggle to breathe as he dominated me.
While I would never say we’d ever made love, there was something off about our exchange. Something that made me feel as if Ishmael was disconnected from the moment. There was no passion, no tenderness, no dirty talk. He wasn’t touching me beyond using my waist to keep me in place. And his strokes, though satisfying, felt more like a punishment with their rough delivery than anything else.
As I took everything he gave I prayed he’d cum soon. I couldn’t take feeling pleasure during a moment that obviously was fueled by his pain.
His pain.
Ishmael was mad at me.
Sealing my eyes tightly, I found the strength to rock back and forth in the opposite direction of his strokes, creating enough friction to speed up his orgasm and mine. It was hard, and quick, and the moment it passed I felt sick. This most certainly wasn’t what I had in mind when I excitedly made my way over.
I expected him to worship my body and fuck me so good I’d speak in tongues. That happened, you know? He’d sex me so good I would literally be so discombobulated I wouldn’t be able to speak properly let alone walk afterwards.
Falling onto the bed, I took deep breaths to steady my heartbeat. Not even bothering to discard of the condom first, Ishmael went into his nightstand and pulled out a wad of cash. He handed it to me, then grabbed my clothes off the floor and tossed them onto the bed.
“I’ll lock the door behind you after I shower,” he mumbled over his shoulder as he walked away.
For a moment, all I could do was sit there in disbelief. Out of all the time we’d dealt with each other, this was the first time Ishmael had dismissed me. This was the first time he’d ever treated me like I was just a fuck. As I put on my clothes, I tried to convince myself that maybe this was for the best.
That… if he didn’t invest any feelings in this, I wouldn’t have to worry about him getting hurt.
And while I was sure that was what I wanted, as I left his home, I couldn’t exactly say it was what I needed.
Chapter 2