The community I lived in was gated and had security, so you weren’t able to get in without a code, and when you entered the code, you still had to stop at the security post to let them know who you were coming to see.
Losing Jessica caused me to detach for quite some time. I never wanted to get close to a woman again. Not only did I want to avoid anyone else losing their life because of me, but I didn’t want to ever grieve like that again. Over the years, with each person I loss, I felt that shit less and less. And I was content with that, until my feelings for Rosalyn started to grow.
I originally downloaded her app and planned to book one of her girls because it was recommended to me. It was safer physically than meeting a random female to fuck from time to time, and it was safer emotionally because I didn’t have to worry about catching feelings for them or worrying about if they had ulterior motives. When I logged into the app, she was the first woman I saw, and I was immediately captivated by her. It wasn’t just about her beauty – it was about her period.
Her personality, her aura, the way she presented herself and her services. With what I was going through, a nigga needed a safe haven. A paradise. And she became that for me.
In the beginning, it was about companionship. She became a friend that I kicked it with from time to time. When I needed sex, she gave that. But over the years we started sharing more about ourselves. She even came to Thanksgiving dinner with me last year because I was sick of my mama asking me when I was going to settle down again. My stupid ass thought if I was feeling for her how I was feeling, surely she had to be feeling something for me too.
After last night, I was starting to think that wasn’t the case and she was just damn good at her job.
Feeling calm enough to face her, finally, I decided to give her one last chance to come to her senses and get on some act right. Looking at her door, I dialed her number and waited for her to answer.
“Yes, Ishmael?” She was trying to have an attitude, but her voice was so damn soft and sensual that even the sound of her mad was like a sweet melody to my ear.
“You givin’ my time to someone else?”
She sighed into the phone, and as much as she didn’t want me to know, I knew it was because she was smiling when she spoke since I heard it in her voice. “A part of our agreement is that we are one hundred percent honest with each other because I don’t deal with liars. You, sir, are a liar. I will see you when I see you.”
Rosalyn hung up the phone, and just that quickly, my anger returned. Who the fuck was she calling a liar? If anyone was lying, it was her regarding how she felt about me. About us. But that was cool. I called her back, and before she could get hello out good, I was telling her, “Have the door open by the time I get to it, or I’m kicking that motherfucker down.”
Disconnecting the call, I cut my car off and waited a minute before I got out. She called me back as she looked out of the window, but I made no effort to answer her call. All that calling and texting was for the birds. A nigga like me needed that face to face action. Rosalyn couldn’t stand it either. Took away some of her control.
Getting out of the car, I ran my hand down my black v-neck shirt to smooth it out before closing the door behind me and hitting the alarm. There was no need for me to rush, so I slowly sauntered up her driveway as I took in my surroundings. There wasn’t anyone outside being nosey who could potentially call the police if I had to kick her door in for real, but I was hoping it wouldn’t come to that.
I jiggled the door, releasing a heavy sigh as my jaw clenched when I realized she hadn’t unlocked it. Taking a step back, I did what I told her I would do and kicked that motherfucker in. Took two kicks, but the second gave me access to her place as she yelped and tried to run up the stairs. I’d never been the type to chase, but I jogged towards her to keep her from getting away. Taking her by the arm, I pulled her into me and stared at her for a few seconds before asking, “You got another man in here?”
“What?” Her face scrunched up as she tried to push me away. “No.”
“Then what’s wit’ all dat shit you been talking, Rosalyn?”
“There isn’t another man in here, Ishmael. I just said that to irritate you because you pissed me off.”
Letting her go, I couldn’t keep myself from snarling as I hopped the stairs two by two and told her, “I don’t trust you no more.”
After checking every room in the house and the backyard, I found Rosalyn standing next to the door that she’d closed. Her ankles and arms were crossed, and she was wearing a smirk like she won something. As I walked up on her, I rubbed my pointer and thumb fingers down the corners of my mouth.
For a moment, I couldn’t help but take in her beauty. Rosalyn was pretty, sexy, and beautiful. It wasn’t a look or mood she couldn’t pull off. She had smooth, soft pecan brown skin. Skin that felt like she drenched herself in every oil and butter possible at night. Her frame was naturally slim thick. Like she was always eating soul food to get a fat ass and thick thighs but did crunches and shit to make sure her stomach stayed flat.
Her hair was styled in a pixie cut, shaved on the left side. The right side was layered and the longest part touched the top of her ear. Rosalyn had a classy style to her. From the way she styled her hair to the way she dressed and kept her French manicure and pedicure on point. She had medium sized bowtie shaped lips, a small nose, chubby cheeks and pretty hazel eyes. Eyes that made a nigga a fiend the first time I saw her in person.
But she almost always had them hidden behind sunglasses. She had to bless you with them motherfuckers man.
In her personal space, I gripped her neck with gentle force in that way her freaky ass liked.
As I expected, that smirk fell instantly and was replaced with her lips parting and eyes lowering with lust as she wrapped her hands around my wrist. I lowered myself to her ear, making sure she heard me perfectly when I told her, “I think since I’ve been a gentleman, you forgot who the fuck I am.”
“Ishma–”
“Shut up,” I gritted, tightening my hold slightly, getting a moan out of her. Her body weakened, and I had to remind my dick not to betray me and get hard for her. If she felt it, she could quickly turn the tables, and I needed to remind her that I was in control. “I’m too old be liking a woman that can’t reciprocate the feelings, so if you need me to fall back let me know and I will. But I know you, Paradise, and I know you feel for me what I feel for you. You treated me like I was the average sucka last night, then you copped an attitude for no reason today, and I ain’t ‘bout these games and shit. So you need to let me know what the fuck is going on now, otherwise I’ll deactivate my account, give you what you think you want, and never deal with yo conflicted ass again.”
With a huff, Rosalyn’s eyebrows wrinkled. She whimpered softly before whispering, “Okay, Ish. I’ll come clean.”
Satisfied with her answer, I released her and put some space between us. Heading to her patio so I could enjoy the view of the lake, I told her, “Get me a shot of something and bring your ass on. Got me acting a fool kicking doors down and shit in this nice ass neighborhood.”
Chapter 4
Rosalyn
“Runnin’ a nigga blood pressure up and shit,” Ishmael grumbled as he headed outside, and I couldn’t help but chuckle as I raced to the bathroom. Before I got his drink and met him outside, I needed to wipe away the puddle that had formed at the seat of my panties. Yes, I knew Ishmael was not the man to fuck with, but he’d never handled me like this! I had to keep myself from purring yes daddy and dropping to my knees in submission by the time he finished his spiel.