“I would think that would be obvious.”
Well, it wasn’t. Evidently seeing the look of confusion in her features, he added, “I’ve fallen in love with you, Monica.”
She stared at him, not believing what he was saying. Her head started to spin, and she placed her wine glass on the table before she dropped it. He stared back at her, frowning as he watched her reaction to his words. Why? Why would he say something like that to her? She shook her head. “No. You can’t love me. It wasn’t that kind of party, Landon. It was only about sex.”
Now he was the one shaking his head. “It was never only about sex, Monica. At least not for me. I knew I had fallen in love with you just days after I ran into you on this ship.”
“Days? That’s the craziest thing I’ve ever heard. Maybe love works like that for some people, but not for me. It was just sex. Why are you trying to make it something more?”
She watched as he placed his wine glass beside hers, then crossed his arms over his chest in a stance that would have been sexy as sin if the subject matter hadn’t been so darn serious. Had he hit his head somewhere? Had someone spiked his drink? They’d eaten dinner together but had chosen different entrees. Had someone messed with his food? Added some crazy sauce to it or something?
They stared each other down for a moment and then putting his hands by his side, he closed the distance between them. “Because for me it was more. Every time we shared a bed, we made love Monica, not just had sex. I was trying to give you a chance to get used to the idea.”
Get used to the idea? Now she really thought he was in La-La Land. “I never led you to believe it was more than what it was, Landon. Why are you trying to ruin our last night together? I told you my goals. There’s no room for a man in my life for another seven to eight years. And I won’t be rushed into anything I’m not ready for. The last thing I want is to be seriously involved with a man. I told you that.”
“I was hoping I could get you to change your mind.”
“You can’t. Sorry.”
“I don’t want you to be sorry, Monica. I want you to give us a chance.”
Now he was making her mad. Why couldn’t he accept things the way they were? “You know what I think, Landon? I think this was the first time you really enjoyed yourself since your fiancée died, and you’ve mentally made me her replacement. Well, I’m not. Go find another substitute because I refuse to be her.”
Anger appeared on his face. “That’s not only unfair but it’s cruel, Monica. Not once have I ever made you feel like I wanted you to take Simone’s place. I fell in love with you for who you are.”
Placing her hands on her hips, she said, “The problem is, you don’t know who I am, Landon. I told you in the beginning what I wanted and what I didn’t. I’m not looking for love yet. I am not ready.”
“And you think you can control your emotions like that?”
“I intend to. You are a great guy and I owe you a lot, but I refuse to allow you to try and make me feel something I don’t. I can’t love you, Landon.”
“You can’t or you won’t?”
“Doesn’t matter. They both mean the same.”
He didn’t say anything for a moment, but just stood there, staring at her. Finally, he said, “In that case, I wish you a happy life, Monica.” Then he turned and walked off the balcony.
Monica held her breath until she heard her cabin door close shut. Then she finally allowed the tears to flow.
Landon’s hand balled into a fist at his side as he paced his cabin. How could Monica think he’d used her as a substitute for Simone? Simone’s name had rarely come up in their conversations, and it had definitely been Monica he’d been thinking of each and every time they’d made love. He knew what she was doing. He’d seen it enough as a cop. She had been looking for an excuse as to why they could not be together. And she’d decided to hone in on his former fiancée.
He forced himself to remain still for a moment. But that didn’t stop every cell in his body from vibrating in anger. For the past three weeks, he had courted her the way a man should court a woman—a woman he’d fallen in love with. They had spent their days together as well as their nights. He had shared more about himself with her than he’d told anyone, and she had told him about her days at work and about her dreams. They’d become close, really close. At least he’d thought they had.
He’d obviously been wrong to assume that all those days they’d spent together, meant something to her. He’d actually thought she was falling in love with him, the way he was falling for her, but he’d been wrong. Monica Bennett had certainly set him straight on that.
Did she not know she could still reach her dreams with him? He wasn’t asking her to give anything up. He figured it would be the perfect set-up, since she intended to return to Atlanta to attend Atlanta Clark when she began working on her PhD. And it wasn’t like he’d asked her to marry him next week. He’d merely told her he wanted to be part of her life. That what had started out as a cruise fling now meant more to him. Why couldn’t it have meant more to her, too?
His cell phone went off and he knew who it was—Zoe. She’d pretty much had left him alone on the cruise and he had appreciated that. Since tonight was the last night, he figured she was calling for details, and the first thing she would want to know would be if he’d met anyone. He couldn’t tell her that he’d fallen in love…with a woman who didn’t want him.
Knowing that if he didn’t answer, she would only call again later when he needed to start packing, he clicked on the phone. “What do you want, Zoe?”
There was a slight hesitation. “Am I interrupting anything?”
Did she honestly think he would tell her if she was? “Nope. I’m just starting to pack,” he said, dropping down on the loveseat in his room. This was certainly not how he envisioned his last night on the cruise.
“Did you enjoy your twenty-one days’ vacation?”
He couldn’t lie. “I enjoyed it immensely.”
“And did you meet someone?”
“I met a lot of people, Zoe.”
“Anybody you plan to invite to Christmas dinner?”
Her question reminded him that Christmas was next week. “Not a single person. Look, Zoe, I need to go.”
“Are you okay? You sound strange.”
No, he wasn’t okay. In fact, he was too damn old for this BS. He refused to let a woman like Monica, who was probably too young for him anyway, mess with his mind. She’d broken his heart to the point he felt it crumbling in his chest, but he refused to let her break him down every other way as well.
“Landon?”
The last thing he needed was for his sister to start digging into his business. Nor did he want her worrying about him. “I’m fine.”
And just in case she got any ideas, he added, “It will be a long flight. Once I get back to Atlanta, I plan to rest up for a few days, so don’t make any plans to visit, Zoe.”
“Oh, alright. Have a safe flight home, Landon.”
“Thanks.” He then clicked off the phone.