“I think he did it,” the boy starts to say, licking his lower lip and staring right through me, not caring that I can’t even breathe when he looks at me like that, “I think he did it just because he wanted to.”
Chapter 6
John
I pick at my thumbnail with my teeth as I stand in the corner of the dark room. I’m anxious, and adrenaline is pumping hard in my blood. Jay’s a fucking bastard. He didn’t tell me until it was already done.
I should go to the police and turn him in. I know that. Even as I pace in the small dark corner and stare at the woman on the bed, I know I should.
But I won’t. Jay set me up. He said it was collateral, using my car and leaving evidence behind although he won’t tell me what. I’m fucked. I grit my teeth remembering how he smiled at my anger.
I don’t know what to do other than to keep her safe, but as the time ticks by I start to wonder if I’d do more harm than good. If being close and looking out for Jay would bite me in the ass. And in this case, the woman caught in Jay’s gaze. I can’t tell him no though. A low rumble in my throat pisses me off. I know Jay needs me and I’m fucked because I just can’t walk away from him.
It reminds me of when we were kids. How I got along with everyone. A decent student and friendly by nature. Jay wouldn’t come around to the playground often then. Very rarely. But some days I’d sit by the edge of the broken swing set, and he’d show up then. It scared me when he’d stay away for a long time. He wouldn’t tell me where he went. All he’d say is that he wasn’t wanted, but I shut that shit down. I wanted him around because I knew he needed someone. I could sense how desperate he was, but he was too afraid to open up. Too afraid to let anyone in. Except me, I guess.
The other kids didn’t see him like I did. They mostly ignored him or, if they were honest with themselves, they were terrified to look him in the eye. That’s the air around him that pushed everyone away. And the moment anyone would dare to approach us, Jay was gone. Uninterested in associating with anyone else. Despite all that, we got along just fine, better than fine most of the time. I knew how to be a good friend to him and he did the same for me when times got rough. We got close fast. Almost like brothers.
“Jay?” the woman calls out softly, and the sheets rustle as she turns onto her side, pulling her knees into her chest. Her voice is ragged, but not with fear, which is surprising. Just exhaustion. And it pulls me from my memories and back to the present.
She’s even more gorgeous in person. I’m practically terrified to go any closer to her. She calls to me in a way I can’t describe or justify. Her hair is a messy halo on the white pillow and her skin looks soft and smooth, so much of it exposed in the skimpy silk nightgown she's wearing. I only went to her to pull the thin sheet over her body, covering her curves although they’re still prominent under the sheet.
“Robin?” I whisper her name and clear my throat when it comes out raspy. Jay’s gone. He brought me here and left to get supplies. Things he said she’d need. I’ve never been to his home until now, but I couldn’t have guessed for even a second it would be this nice.
He said it’s for her. That it’s always been for her, although he didn’t know it until he was ready to take her. The way he talks about her has me on edge. He’s obsessed, but only with healing her. Only in righting his sins.
All I know about her is her name, that she tried to kill herself, and that she has a past with Jay. He didn’t give me anything else. He said she’d have to tell me.
“Jay?” the woman calls out again, her voice groggy as she rises on the mattress, bracing her arm behind her and slowly sitting up. She puts a hand on her forehead and lets out a small moan.
I hesitate only a moment more before taking three large strides closer before stopping at the foot of the bed. “You’re safe,” I tell her gently, raising my hands with my heart racing in my chest. “I promise I will keep you safe,” I say and the words come out with strength. I will keep that promise if it’s the last thing I do.
“Jay,” she says softly, reverently almost and it shocks me. My brow pinches as I step closer to her, rounding the bed, but careful not to touch it. I don’t even brush my knees against it. I don’t want to give her any indication at all that I’ll touch her.
“Jay went out,” I tell her and try to breathe, I try to explain what’s going on. “He wants to help you, and I’m here to make sure you’re safe.”
The small woman looks up and flinches. Her eyes go wide before she backs away slowly. So slowly it looks like the sheet barely moves as it falls down her body. She sucks in a breath and visibly swallows before I add, “I’m John.”
“John?” she asks in a whisper before her eyes dart to the door and then back to me.
She’s disoriented. The drugs are still coursing through her system, but the fear has finally set in.
“It’s okay, I won’t let Jay hurt you,” I tell her, again raising my hands palms outward as though she's a wounded animal.
Her eyes fall to the sheet and then look back to me before she sits up to look at me, her gaze searching my face for something. She finally asks, “Does Jay want to hurt me?” Her eyes flicker to the door again and then back to my eyes.
The dim light in the room reflects in her eyes. Swirls of forest greens and flecks of gold. She has the most gorgeous eyes I’ve ever seen, but they're riddled with questions and fear.
“No,” I answer her immediately. “He wants to help you.”
She nods once and then the fear seems to dim although she unconsciously picks at the blanket on the bed.
“Are you alright?” I ask her, feeling deep down in the pit of my stomach that there’s more between her and Jay than I realize. She’s more afraid of me than him. I can feel it. “I promise, I have no intention of hurting you,” I tell her and slow my movements to make it obvious I’m going to sit on the edge of the bed. I can’t have her being afraid of me.
“I’m not well, no,” she says softly, shaking her head just slightly but her eyes stay on mine, brimming with curiosity now. “Are you alright?” she asks me.
It throws me off. “No,” I say after a moment. “This isn’t alright with me,” I add with my throat tight. “I didn’t know,” I explain, and I tell her more as a plea for forgiveness. I swallow hard and glance at the door. I should take her away. I can leave with her right now.
All the evidence will point to me though and if she presses charges, I’m fucked. But what other choice do I have?
“If you want to leave-” I start to say, but she cuts me off.
“What didn’t you know?” she asks me, licking her lips and tilting her head to the right. Her eyes are wide with curiosity more than anything else.
“I didn’t know he’d taken you,” I admit to her in a low voice that’s barely audible. She nods her head once.
“So you’d let me leave?” she asks in a small voice. Her eyes travel to the door as if watching herself simply walk away, but when her gaze stops, the lights turn on and Jay stands in the doorway. My eyes adjust to the light slowly, but they only focus on her and her reaction to seeing Jay. She hesitates a moment, her grip on the blanket tightening as she takes him in.