Home > I Have Lived and I Have Loved(33)

I Have Lived and I Have Loved(33)
Author: Willow Winters

Kirk threw him an almost evil grin, and I was surprised to see Nick’s eyes darken, matching it.

Putting the beer away, Kirk pulled out a tequila bottle instead. Grabbing five shot glasses, he held it in the air. “Tequila it is.”

Ryan groaned. “This is not a good idea.”

“Come on, lover boy.” Kirk’s eyes narrowed, passing to me before moving back to his best friend. “What? You think you’re the only one who can be the bad boy? Move aside, buddy. I was your partner in crime before. I’m claiming my place again.”

Ryan laughed. He was close enough that I could feel the tension ease from his body. “Fair enough.” He moved ahead, his arm brushing mine. “All right. Let’s do this the proper way, hmmm?”

Nick frowned. “What’s the proper way to take a tequila shot?”

Kirk and Ryan shared a grin as Kirk bent, bringing out salt and limes from the fridge.

Ryan narrated as Kirk poured tequila into all five glasses.

“Salt that hand.”

Kirk salted.

“Lick it.”

Kirk licked.

“Down the shot.”

Kirk drank it in one gulp.

“And suck on the lime.”

Kirk sucked.

“Holy shit!” Kirk spat out the lime, wincing and shaking his head. “Now that’s the right way to do a shot.” He pushed all the ingredients toward Nick. “You’re next.”

Nick eyed everything warily. “We’re going to be hurting by tonight, aren’t we?”

Ryan laughed. “Did you really see any other ending for one of Kirk’s skip days?”

Nick groaned as he reached for the salt. “You’re right. God. This is going to hurt.” He poured it over his hand and eyed Ryan at the same time. “You aren’t on the football team, but I am. I was supposed to have practice today.”

“Convert. Join the basketball team with me.”

Kirk started laughing.

Nick grumbled before licking his hand. “I’m on that too.” He made a face as he grabbed the shot, downed in, and planted a lime in his mouth. “Goddamn! That burns.”

He moved back, still grimacing, and then it was Ryan’s turn.

There were no words or pauses. He took the shot like a pro and had no reaction afterward. It was as if he drank water. I couldn’t decide if that was alarming or if it turned me on. Either way, it was my turn.

Three sets of male eyes settled on me.

This was what I wanted: another way to escape my life.

I reached for the salt, and the world melted away.

This scene should’ve made me nervous, right? Drinking tequila in the middle of the day with three guys I barely knew? This never would’ve happened a year ago. I would’ve been in school, talking with friends, and griping about soccer practice.

But that was then, and things had changed.

I wanted to do this.

I felt Willow at my side. Come on, Mac. This is stupid. Getting drunk? Really? You already had sex. I mean, how many more cliché ways can you rebel against—

I blocked her out, pouring the salt. I licked it and then took the shot. Ryan held out a lime, but I ignored it. I reached for him instead and fused my mouth to his.

Yes! There was the burn I wanted, and after a thorough kiss, I reached for the salt again.

I heard the guys saying something, and I felt Ryan’s surprise, but he was behind me. His hand fell to my waist and tightened there. I could sense him thinking of saying something to stop me, but I shook my head, and his grip softened.

I took a second shot, ignoring the lime once again and fully turning into Ryan’s arms.

He was waiting for me this time, and as his mouth opened over mine, I was aware of him pulling me away from the others. He kept kissing me, licking, tasting, teasing until suddenly the sounds of the water, of Kirk and Nick, all fell away. Darkness surrounded us. We were in a building, and when Ryan reached for the light switch, I stopped him.

“No.” I grabbed him, pulling him back, and he pressed me into a wall.

His mouth became more urgent, more demanding.

My body grew heated, and as my head fell back, gasping for breath, I knew this was what I had hoped to be doing today instead of sitting in class.

I wanted to get lost with the feel of him, and I wanted more tequila.

I didn’t want Kirk and Nick there. I wanted to be alone with Ryan, and as his mouth fell to my throat, I could tell he felt the same way. His hips pressed into mine, and I could feel him wanting me.

With a growl, his hands caught my hips, and he ground into me.

 

 

Chapter Twenty-Two

 

 

A knock came on the door. “Horny lovebirds!”

Kirk stood outside the door, and he gave two more knocks before Ryan pulled away.

Growling, he jerked the door open an inch. “What?”

A smug snicker came from the other side. “You two can get it on later. Today’s my day.”

Ryan wasn’t amused. “Your skip days are usually about getting high, drunk, and/or laid.”

“Not today.”

I caught a quick flicker of a grin on Ryan’s face before he masked it and moved farther away from me. His hand still rested on my waist, but once my hot flashes had subsided, I enjoyed watching this exchange play out on Ryan’s face.

He loved Kirk. That was obvious, but he was wary of him. Still, he was becoming more open to whatever Kirk was going to say. His hand had relaxed on my waist, and since we were at his friend’s house, I thought maybe the right thing was to cool our lust jets a bit. But once we were alone again? Hell yes, I’d be jumping Ryan.

And you still think you aren’t trying to be me?

I stiffened, hearing Willow’s mocking tone. I ignored her.

I’m you, Mac. You can’t ignore me, and you know it. That’s like you ignoring yourself.

I gritted my teeth and caught Ryan glancing at me.

I can ignore myself all I want, I shot back and shoved toward the door—and out of Ryan’s hold.

“Wha—” Ryan watched me stalk past Kirk, who shifted quickly out of the way.

I went back to the tequila bottle, saw a shot already poured, and downed it. Salt be damned. I still didn’t need the lime either.

And goddamn—that burned. I felt it this time, and that meant I needed another one. I was reaching for my fourth shot when I felt another presence beside me.

Goddamn Willow. She was never going to leave me alone.

“So, not to be blunt in an offensive way, but . . .”

Not Willow.

I looked up. Nick was staring at the shot in my hands like he could see a worm in it.

His eyes flicked up to mine. “But your damage is your sister, right?”

It took a second for his question to penetrate. The booze was starting to fog everything. I blinked at him. “What?”

“I mean . . .” He coughed, turning around to rest against the table. He gestured over his shoulder to Ryan and Kirk, still talking outside the pool shed. “Kirk’s damage is his parents’ divorce, and his dad is hardly ever around. Ryan’s damage is losing his best friend close to two years ago, and yours is your sister, right?”

My hand felt like punching him.

I scowled. “Yeah. That. No big deal.” My tone was biting.

He paused, and then a crooked grin formed. “Oh. Sorry.” He straightened from the table, his hand running through his hair. “I’m not trying to be a jerk—”

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