"Yeah?"
"Yeah." He mumbles into my skin. "But it's worrying me."
"I'm just thinking."
"About?"
Things I want to forget. "It's beautiful here."
"Paradise."
"It really is. When it's just the two of us and the rest of the world is far away, everything is perfect. I want that."
"It is just the two of us."
It is.
But the world isn't far away.
It's infecting my thoughts.
I press my lips together. There's nothing to say. He's been forthright about his feelings. It's just, his feelings aren't moving fast enough for me.
How can I be upset about that?
He warned me his head was a mess.
I knew his head was a mess.
The whole point of this exercise is bringing him closure.
We're almost there. Three days, and we'll be there. He'll be mine. Or he'll still be hers.
But I'll know for sure.
I swallow hard. "I want to go to the pool."
"Of course you do." He brings his hands to my hips. Holds my body against his. "You're part mermaid."
"My hair is too short."
"Why can't mermaids have short hair?" He plants a soft kiss on my neck. "Why are you putting them in that box?"
"If mermaids were real, they'd be hairless and scaly. They're basically porn for sailors."
"They don't have cunts."
"Sailors love blow jobs.”
He chuckles. "Do they?"
"Yeah. Everyone knows that."
"You're full of shit."
"Maybe. But it's true."
"Uh-huh."
"Find me a sailor who's anti-fellatio. I dare you."
His hands go to his sides as he takes a step backward. "Can't say I give a fuck on anyone else's opinions about fellatio."
"Did you really just say fellatio?"
He laughs. "You said it first." His smile spreads over his cheeks.
He looks happy.
Why can't I feel that?
Why can't I get over this mental image?
Why do I feel the same way I did as when I ran home to show off my report card and Mom's I'm proud of you, honey was so slurred it was hollow?
His expression shifts to something dirty and demanding. "You want to suck me off."
My cheeks flush. "Yes."
"After."
"You're cruel."
"I take that as a compliment."
"I know."
He motions to my hot pink suitcase. "I want to strip you out of that bikini before I come on your tits."
My sex clenches.
"I want you fucking desperate."
I step inside the hotel room. Pull the sliding door closed. Press my ass against the cold glass.
It's not enough to cool me down.
My stupid dress is in the way.
Ryan turns, sets his suitcase on the bed, starts unpacking. He's effortlessly casual. Like he didn't just promise to come on my chest.
I go to the bathroom—it's as teal as the rest of the room—fill a glass with water, swallow it in one go.
It does nothing to dampen the heat racing through me.
But then I don't want to cool off.
The buzz of desire is chasing away all the ugly thoughts in my head.
I strip to nothing in the bathroom. Saunter into the main room. Make a show of bending to unzip my suitcase and dig for my bikini.
Ryan drinks me in as I step into my swimsuit. His tongue slides over his lips. His pupils dilate. His cock strains against his jeans.
But he's still effortless about stripping to nothing and stepping into his Speedo.
He's actually wearing his Speedo.
God help me.
Warm water rushes over my skin as I jump into the pool.
I pull my arms to my sides to surface.
Blue sky fills my view. This pool is huge. And this part of it—the shallow end—is crowded. That's no good.
I take Ryan's hand and guide him into the tiny tunnel to our right. The air goes cold as the sun disappears. We pass the swim up bar—who sits at a bar when they could frolic around the pool—then come up to the back of a waterfall.
"On three?" I offer.
He chuckles as he presses his palm into my lower back. "You first."
"Chicken?"
"I'm here for the view."
My cheeks flush. The heat of his gaze makes my heart race.
I grab onto everything that makes sense. He wants me and I want him and we're half naked in paradise.
My hips sway as I step under the waterfall.
Cool water pounds my head and shoulders. My hair sticks to my forehead. My bikini threatens to come undone.
Still, I stay under the waterfall.
I hold my hand over my eyes and look out at the other side of the pool. The deep end. It's surrounded by people with books and cocktails, but the pool itself is empty.
Which means it's ours.
The world is ours. Right now, I feel it. I need to hold onto that.
I turn around. I can only barely see Ryan through the blur of running water. He's all hair and light skin and black fabric.
Barely any fabric. But still too much.
I bring my fingers to my lips, blow him a kiss, and fall backward in the water.
Fuck, this pool feels good.
I push off the bottom. Glide toward the deep end. Three long, slow underwater strokes and I emerge.
The deep end is a huge circle twenty feet wide. Lawn chairs line one side. Fake rocks and plants line the other. They make an almost-natural jungle gym, with high spots and nooks and baby waterfalls.
I spin in the middle of the pool. Watch Ryan swim toward me.
God, the way his shoulders flex and relax. The lines of ink running down his back. The sunlight casting him in a soft glow.
He's a good swimmer, but I'm better. I dive under the water and glide to the waterfall behind me.
I surface in front of the blur of white-blue.
Water pounds my head as I enter. The world gets darker, more diffuse. Blue sky and sunlight filter through the running water, breaking into fragments of light and color.
Someone moves closer.
The illusion breaks as Ryan glides past the running water.
There's just enough space for both of us.
I scoot backward, find a seat on a curved section of the wall.
He moves closer.
Closer.
Until he's pinning me against the wall. "You're fucking brilliant."
I nod.
"Fuck, you have no idea what I want to do to you right now." His fingers trace a line down my neck. Over the strap of my bikini.
He traces its line into the water, over my triangle top, over my breastbone, along the other triangle.
Slowly, he pushes one triangle aside, exposing me.
No one can see—you can't see anything past the running water—but I still feel like I'm on display.
My sex clenches from the exhibition of it.
He cups my breast with his palm. Drags his thumb against my nipple. It's different in the water. Smoother and harder at the same time.
He watches as he pulls the other triangle aside.
My breast spills from my bikini.
I'm topless in a pool packed with a hundred people.
My thoughts dissolve as he covers me with his palm. Teases my nipples with his thumbs.