Maybe it was good that she knew about him, knew how rotten his soul was. She should know exactly who she would be marrying. And if she didn’t like it, she would have to learn to live with it, because she wasn’t going anywhere.
Jozef twisted until he was half facing her and she could clearly see his hands. She lifted her head off the pillow to watch as he signed. I was sixteen when I became Krystoff’s enforcer. I was young, cocky, full of myself. I had this friend, another young guy, M-A-X, who worked the streets with me. He was one of our recruiters. We grew close. Played video games together, worked together, partied together. I ate meals at his house, prepared by his grandmother. I took their food and their friendship.
“Oh god,” she whispered, as though she knew what was coming. He didn’t stop.
My friend started skimming profit. Krystoff’s accountant blew the whistle and I was charged with taking care of the matter. It was my job to put my best friend in the ground.
“Wh-what did you do?”
He shrugged. I pulled the trigger.
“Why?” she demanded angrily. “Couldn’t you have warned him, sent him away or something?”
He stared at her steadily and then shook his head. As the family dog, it is both my duty and my pleasure to enact the orders of my uncle. I am effective because I’m loyal to those who are loyal to me.
“Who are you to decide who deserves death and who doesn’t?” she sputtered, pushing away from him, her voice rising in anger. “You destroy families! What about his grandmother? You took away her grandson, someone she loved.”
Jozef took a deep breath to calm the pain her words were causing. They hit too close to home. You wanted to know how it feels to kill someone?
She nodded, her eyes golden pools of accusation.
I remember every face, every name, everything about them. I accept the pain I have caused their families and I take it into myself. With every kill, another piece of my soul is torn away. I kept track of M-A-X’s grandmother until the day she died. I made sure she was taken care of, sending food and money anonymously. I will never forget her face, nor the way she looked at me on the day of his funeral, knowing that her grandson’s killer was standing next to his casket.
“Then why do you do it?” she cried out.
It is my duty.
The stricken look on her face told him she either didn’t understand or she couldn’t accept his words. He didn’t want her to hate him, especially not after the moments they’d shared over the past several hours. He wanted to grab her and force her back to his side, force her to touch him willingly again. But of course, he couldn’t. He couldn’t reassure her, either. There needed to be truth between them.
This is the world I live in. There are no good guys or bad guys. Some people need to die, and in this family, it’s my job to make those decisions regardless of my feelings.
“I didn’t deserve to die,” Shaun cried out, her voice filled with the anger and trauma of their first day together.
Jozef’s heart ached for her. She was confused, hurt, scared, and he couldn’t be the one to reassure her. She was part of this life now and she needed to adapt. He reached out and took her chin in his hand, forcing her to look at him.
No, you didn’t deserve to die.
“But you would’ve killed me!” Her voice broke on a sob.
He nodded solemnly. I would have done my job.
“Why didn’t you?” She swiped angrily at the tears that started to fall.
He sighed and rubbed a hand over his short hair. He thought about her question, thought hard, but he couldn’t come up with an answer. When he imagined the scene, he could see it clearly, as though it’d just happened.
He was in the forest clearing with her again, looking down his gun at her, his finger tightening on the trigger. Their eyes locked and she told him silently she would die with dignity. She would go into the afterworld with her head held high and no regrets. In the seconds between pulling the trigger and not, Jozef decided he needed that fierce spirit in his life. That he would not live with the regret of putting this spectacular woman in the ground. He would keep her.
I couldn’t pull the trigger, he finally told her.
“But why?” she demanded again, anger and passion colliding in one irresistible woman.
He gripped her head hard and gave her a little shake to show his frustration, then dropped his hands to sign, it doesn’t matter, let it go.
“It does matter!” she shouted, wiggling backwards, trying to put more distance between them. “I need to know what stopped you; I need to know it can never happen again. I have to know that you’ll never decide to change your mind.”
Her voice was edging toward hysteria and Jozef was caught between his own anger that she wouldn’t listen, that she was ruining their perfect moment, and his desire to calm her, to hold her and promise she never had anything to worry about.
He grabbed her by the waist and dragged her toward him.
This time she fought him, striking out and slapping his arm while flailing her legs. Jozef growled and rolled her underneath him.
He pinned her to the bed until all she could do was thrash inside the cage of his arms. He let her tire herself out until she went limp, glaring up at him.
Jozef tried to take her mouth in a kiss but she turned her head away. This annoyed him more than anything else she’d done so far. He didn’t care if she tried to deny him her body, her feelings, her words, but she would not be allowed to deny his kisses. This is where their intense spiritual connection merged with their physical bodies. Everything he needed to tell her but couldn’t was conveyed in a kiss.
He gripped her by the neck, yanking her head off the bed and slashing his mouth over hers in a rough kiss. She gasped as he attacked her lips with his teeth, forcing his way into her mouth. She was too shocked to resist, and he took advantage by sweeping the dark recesses within over and over until she had to fight for breath.
He dragged the bathrobe open and squeezed her breast, rubbing his thumbnail over the nipple. Earlier he’d shown his caring side, bringing her to orgasm well before entering her and then carefully guiding her desire back up. This time he was going to show her his dark side. The mob enforcer who took what he wanted with no consequences. She would feel his power. She would know all of him and she would love it.
He reached further down her lithe body until he found her still slippery pussy, shoving two fingers deep inside without preparation. Her tight pussy fought him for a second then gave way as he thrust deep inside, found her g-spot and rubbed it hard. She screamed into his mouth as pain and pleasure collided and sparks went off all around them.
Jozef began to sweat as his cock leapt to life again, weeping at another opportunity to fuck this beautiful woman. She bowed on the bed, her body pressing up against his. The fit was tight, but he continued to slam his fingers in and out of her, swallowing her cries as they came closer and closer together. Before she could reach her orgasm though, he pulled his hand from her pussy, grabbed hold of her and flipped her over.
Confused and disoriented Shaun flailed on the bed and tried to push herself up on her hands and knees. Jozef gripped the bathrobe at the back of her neck and wrenched it off her. She gasped as she was dragged up onto her knees, then fell onto her hands again once he tossed the robe away. She looked at him over her shoulder, fear and excitement lighting her expression.