“Who was that guy at the house?”
Frost didn’t bother looking Scott’s way. “My boyfriend.”
“Really?”
At Scott’s disbelieving tone, Frost shot him an irritated look. “He’s a good man.”
“Really?”
Frost took a steadying breath. He did not need this right now. “You should get a cab to take you back to your car. I’ll likely be here a lot longer.”
“In a minute. Let’s revisit the fact that you’re not only dating a biker daddy, you’re also bringing him around my kids.”
Frost could barely breathe. He wanted to lose his shit, but he couldn’t, because unlike Scott, he had responsibilities. “These aren’t your kids. They’re mine. In fact, Zep could argue they’re more his kids than they’ll ever be yours. He’s the one who’s been here.”
“Dada.”
Frost’s heart turned over in his chest at Millie’s voice. She sounded like her throat hurt. He found himself making a shushing sound. Even he didn’t know if it was directed at her, Scott, or himself. “It’s okay, baby. I’ve got you.”
“I want daddy Zep.”
Even though Frost felt certain she had only gotten her words twisted while asking for Zep, his heart rose to his throat. Zep should be there with them, but Frost had shut him out. He didn’t want Scott here. His mind had been such a mess since yesterday. Scott had always fucked with his head.
“So they’re calling this guy Dad now?”
“Please leave.”
Scott stood with such force, his chair banged into the wall. Millie started crying. Frost thought he might too.
“Call me when this is over. We need to talk.”
Frost didn’t respond. He couldn’t. Scott wanted to talk when this was over. As if Millie’s emergency was an inconvenience for him. Her illness stood in the way of them working things out. Just like her existence had driven Scott away almost three years ago. Everything hurt. Frost wanted Zep.
The door opened and an elderly man in a lab coat stepped inside. He barely spared Millie a glance. “Her bloodwork is fine. It’s likely just a virus. Rotate Motrin and Tylenol every four hours and make sure she stays hydrated. Follow up with her pediatrician in the morning.”
Frost barely thanked the man before he was gone again. Defeat weighed heavily on Frost’s shoulders as he made his way back to the car. Six hours at the ER only to learn what Zep had already told him.
Both girls were crying now. They were likely starving. With no energy left to spare, he ran through a drive thru and grabbed them a couple of kid’s meals and let them eat in the car. He heard a drink spill. Frost was too tired to care. No one cried, so he assumed they were both asleep and the mess in his backseat was likely legendary.
Thankfully, Scott’s car was gone, but Zep’s truck wasn’t. Frost pushed the food aside and carried the girls straight to bed before going in search of Zep. He found him sitting in the dark in the den.
“You were right. It’s likely just a virus.”
Zep stood and grabbed his shoes. “That’s great. I’m glad she’ll be okay.” Zep sat and put on his shoes.
“Wait. Are you leaving?”
Zep’s shoulders expanded as if he took a deep breath. He didn’t quite meet Frost’s eyes, and Frost knew. They were over. “I’ve been sitting here thinking while you were gone, and I’ve come to terms with some things I’ve been trying to ignore. I’ve spent the last six months falling in love with you and falling in love with your girls. All the while, you’ve spent the last six months waiting for us to be done.”
The lump in Frost’s throat grew. “That’s not true. I don’t want to lose you. Things just got crazy tonight.”
Zep finally met his stare. “You left here with Scott.”
Frost tried to work up the energy to defend himself. “So you’re leaving because he jumped in the car with me when I didn’t have the luxury of fighting with him.”
A sad smile touched Zep’s lips. He stood. “No, baby. I’m not. I’m leaving because you don’t really want a life with me, and I can’t keep pretending that you do. I don’t know if you still want Scott or if you’re still so enraged by what he did that you can’t let me in. Either way, you’re not free to be with me. The longer I stay, the more it’ll hurt when you tell me to go.”
Frost knew there had to be some words he could say to make Zep stay, but he couldn’t find them. Then Zep finished him.
“I love you.” Zep’s eyes filled with tears as if his heart was breaking. “And I love your girls. Please don’t...” Zep shook his head, as if realizing anything he said at this point would be unfair. “I hope you have a wonderful life.” Without a backward glance, Zep walked away. Frost stared at the spot where Zep had been waiting all night. He was mentally and physically exhausted. All he wanted was to curl up in Zep’s arms and rest. Once again, life had slapped him back into his place. Frost moved to the couch and dropped. He had nothing left to give. Maybe tomorrow, he would know where he had gone wrong. Tonight, he just felt tired.
Eight
Everything was a haze. The room spun just a little. Zep was damn glad Kit had talked him into getting shit-faced while sitting at a table in the corner of Road Clan bar rather than at a barstool. He usually liked sitting at the bar. Drinks came faster that way. Lucky worked the taps tonight. Since they were friends and everyone knew Frost had crushed him, Lucky kept the drinks coming all night.
Unfortunately, the more Zep drank, the darker his thoughts turned. He had been such a fool for thinking someone as sexy as Frost could possibly want him. Zep didn’t have low self-esteem, but he also wasn’t blind. Frost looked like a man who made a living from working on his body. Zep liked being his age, and food. What an idiot he had been with Frost. He couldn’t stop having that thought, over and over again. For real, why had he thought he was special? Frost had been sleeping with men like Damon, for fuck’s sake. Even though Damon was their age, he had a very god-like physique. Zep was an idiot.
Kit reached over and stroked his arm. He was the one person who never let Zep down. All night, he had sat at Zep’s side without a single “I told you so” while staying sober so he could drive. Zep wished he could just fall in love with Kit. At least Kit was loyal.
“We should get married.”
Kit flashed him a sympathetic smile. “You don’t want me, sweetie. I don’t like kids that much.”
Because he knew Kit would never take him seriously, Zep didn’t stop. “I’d take good care of you.”
“I know.”
A lump formed in Zep’s throat. “I really thought he was the one.”
Kit nodded. “I know.”
Zep scooped Kit from his seat and pulled him into his lap. When Kit wrapped his arms around Zep’s neck, a tear rolled down Zep’s cheek. He hated himself for being so blind and stupid. Everything felt emptier now than before he had known what he was missing. Kit was his friend. Sometimes, he forgot why, but tonight Kit reminded him how amazing he could be when the chips were down.