Frost pressed his hand to his stomach. Butterflies stirred. He really liked this new feeling. It felt a lot like happiness. His gaze slid Zep’s way. He found Zep watching him. Suddenly, Frost wanted all of him. “What are you thinking?”
Zep didn’t smile. His gaze never wavered. He was as solid as ever. “That you’re beautiful.”
He didn’t think Zep meant on the outside. His tone went deeper than that. The butterflies in Frost’s stomach stirred to life again. “You sound tired.”
“I am but I’m not.”
Frost got that. He didn’t want to sleep either. He wanted to stare at Zep and dream. Dreams had been lost to him for a long time. “I don’t think I’ve stopped smiling on the inside since we met. If that makes sense.”
Zep kissed Frost’s shoulder. “It makes sense.”
A thought hit Frost, and terror struck right behind it. “I don’t want you to lose friends because of me. Kit. Lucky. Everyone will likely have something to say.”
Zep’s hand encircled Frost’s throat. He swept upward, stroking the thick growth of hair on Frost’s chin. Words died in Frost’s throat. His eyes fell closed in pleasure. Zep always stole his thoughts with his perfectly timed touches. “My friends are real friends. Not only have I already told them I have feelings for you, they all trust my judgment. They’re good people. They want us to be happy.”
Frost still couldn’t open his eyes with Zep stroking him. A chuckle escaped him. “I want to remind you that Kit has threatened my manhood more than once.”
“I imagine that threat still stands, but Kit is a rambutan. You have to get past his prickly shell to find the sweetness. Like all of us, life has made him who he is.”
Frost met Zep’s stare again. “Is there anyone you can’t find the good in?”
He felt more than saw Zep shrug. Zep moved closer. “I don’t want to live in a world where no one gets a second chance.” He swiped his lips across Frost’s. “I’m pretty sure my body is dead, but my brain wants more.” He kissed Frost again before moving to Frost’s jaw and on to his ear. Goosebumps skirted across Frost’s skin as Zep open-mouth kissed his ear. Zep shifted positions and moved to Frost’s shoulder. “I love this tattoo.” Frost’s arm was tattooed from the shoulder to his elbow with roses and a clock. “Are you late for a very important date?” Zep asked as he kissed his way to the inside of Frost’s elbow.
Frost knew the question was in relation to the Alice in Wonderland theme of his ink, but the question hit differently with Zep’s lips on his body. Maybe he was a little late finding Zep. Perhaps he had done life a bit backward, starting with kids and then finding someone he liked a little too much. Frost regretted nothing at the moment. As Zep’s lips landed on his hipbone, Frost’s fingers found Zep’s hair. His breath slowly released through his nose. Frost savored every sensation.
“I am late,” he admitted, even though he knew the words didn’t make sense to Zep. “But I’m not giving up.”
Frost fully intended to give Zep his all. They were starting something real. He felt that in his bones. Frost wouldn’t let anything ruin this.
Five
The smell of cooking food and coffee had Zep blinking against his unfamiliar surroundings. It took him longer than usual to gather his thoughts between his move and staying the night with Frost; he was worn out. A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. He stretched. Memory after memory came back to him, heating his cheeks. He had been shameless. His muscles ached in the best way. He couldn’t believe he had demanded an exclusive relationship from Frost and then spent the night ruining Frost’s sheets. Zep wanted to text Kit and tell him everything. He wasn’t the gushing type, but this was different. Zep didn’t have stories to tell. Despite Kit’s prickly personality, Zep knew he would listen.
Zep rolled over and sat up. He checked the time on his phone. It was nine and he had missed a text from Kit. He opened his messages.
Kit: Hey, I just got here and you’re not home. I imagine you’re working or whatever. Hopefully, you don’t mind, but I used my key to let myself in. I didn’t want you to be surprised when you find me on your couch.
Sometimes Zep worried about Kit. Obviously, he didn’t care if Kit came and went. He wouldn’t have given Kit a key otherwise. The thing was, Kit never slowed down. Yet he didn’t seem to have any direction in life. It was as if he was incapable of sitting quietly with his own thoughts. The idea of that scared Zep. He knew Kit had been through tons of counseling, but some people couldn’t be helped. All he could do was keep being Kit’s friend.
Zep: You’re probably sleeping now, but you know you’re always welcome. I love you. Go ahead and take my bed for now. I’m at Frost’s, but when I get home and you’re ready, we’ll go buy you a bed for the guest room. As long as I have a home, you will too.
Zep set his phone aside and focused on himself. He needed to find his pants. Frost was obviously making breakfast, and Zep couldn’t wait to kiss him good morning. Chances were good that Zep was setting himself up for heartbreak, but he would never know if he didn’t try. Onwards and upwards. He wanted to be with Frost.
Since their first kiss, Frost had known he was skating a super fine line. He had known Zep long enough to know the guy had a heart as big as his six-foot-six frame. But Zep also didn’t take any shit from anyone. Frost didn’t doubt that he couldn’t play games with Zep, but he also hadn’t planned to introduce Zep to his girls. Until Zep’s speech about wanting a house full of kids, that is. That moment had gotten him thinking. Zep had been so passionate and his longing for a family had shown itself in every word the guy spoke. He hadn’t been saying what he thought Frost wanted to hear. From his soul, Zep wanted a family. Frost trusted Zep not to hurt his babies. Still, he didn’t plan to throw them together very often if he could help it. He needed to take things slow. Zep wouldn’t have met the girls yet if he hadn’t burst into Frost’s office. From now on, he would be slow and steady. This morning was an exception.
“What’s this?”
Frost smiled at Zep’s laughing question as he made his way down the hall and inside the kitchen. “The girls and I are making you breakfast.”
Both girls wore their tiny aprons and chef hats. Frost had set up a small space at their kid-sized table and toy oven for them to play with a bowl of unusable pancake mix.
“Oh my gosh. This is great.” Zep went down onto his knees to see what the girls were doing.
Frost worked on the real batch of pancakes while watching the three of them make a mess. Pressure grew in his chest. He knew Zep loved kids and that was why he chose to play with the twins, but no one understood. This was the life he pictured before Scott left. He had thought this would be their future. Now, here was this guy doing the things Frost had envisioned with a different man. Frost didn’t want to dream again. He had already been crushed once in this lifetime. At least, when Scott had destroyed him, the girls hadn’t been born yet. They didn’t know what they had lost. If they fell in love with Zep and then Zep walked away, the heartbreak would be twice as devastating. He didn’t know the right way to handle this new relationship, but he wouldn’t pretend his daughters didn’t exist. It didn’t look like Zep intended to ignore them either.