“Race you?” he asked over his shoulder.
“You are way too new at this to be racing!” I shouted, urging my own mount forward to keep up with him.
“This is how I learn best,” he called.
His horse wasn’t having it though, and we made it to the stables going at best a quick trot, as behind us the sun sank to darkness beneath the crashing waves.
17
Mac
What the hell was going on with me? I’d acted like a different man all day, arranging a goddamn sunset horseback ride down the beach for a girl I barely knew. It was insane. So unlike me that I barely recognized myself.
But ever since the plan formed in my mind at the tiki bar, I couldn’t shake it. From the moment I pictured Alice’s eyes, lit up at the sight of the horses, the curve of her neck backlit by the setting sun, her laughter as I tried to get the half-wild beast under control, I was hooked. The mental image wasn’t enough. I needed to make it a reality.
But there was something more there too, beyond spending time with her once again. It was an intense need to prove that I was really, actually, genuinely sorry. This weekend was already going to be hellish — I couldn’t imagine how much worse it would be knowing that, on Sunday, we’d fly home to our separate corners of the city we shared, at odds forever. I’d live in her mind as that asshole that almost got her killed and she’d live in mine as… As what? The one that got away? What did that even mean to me? Because that sentence implied that there was a ‘one’. That there might have been a ‘one’ for me.
And that was a notion I just couldn’t accept. Because if I did, I’d be falling into that same trap that Sam did and Keegan was currently doing. I had a responsibility to my friends. I was the only one with the crystal ball. I’d seen it myself in the white fog, Sammy Dedric fallen far and fallen fast. Alone in the world until his death.
But, I figured, there was no reason I couldn’t apologize, send Alice on her way with a good memory of Mexico and save myself the scorn of my friends.
And so I’d pulled it off and, amazingly, she’d accepted it. For that I was grateful. And as much as I hated bouncing around on the back of that animal, it’d been worth it. (I mean, seriously. You’re fecking high off the ground and at the complete mercy of a massive, dumb, panicky animal that’s scared of its own shadow and shits like it’s being force-fed through a tube.)
There my vision had come true. The glow of the setting sun had lit her auburn hair, had reflected off her brown eyes and pierced me with their dazzling intensity. I’d watched her, as we rode, and felt something I’d never experienced before: longing.
It wasn’t anything as soft as what Sam was on about, no flashes of rings or quiet movie nights at home. Just an intense desire to see her again. There was no specific activity attached to the feeling (not withstanding that ever-present wondering of what she’d feel like under me), just the want, the need, to see her in my life. Alice with her wild intensity and strong opinions, her utter disregard for what the rest of the world thought of her. I wanted her. In all lights, all moods. She fit me in a way I’d never gotten from the bimbos that flitted in and out of my bed.
And when we parted at the entrance to the stables, I hadn’t wanted her to go.
It was uncomfortable, the two of us standing there. A sunset horseback ride is a statement. A loud one. But despite that longing and despite my big-ass mouth, I wasn’t sure what to say.
“I should see where Beck…” she started after a moment, trailing off into awkward silence.
Of course. Beck. The wedding. Other more important and pressing issues. I nodded.
“Thanks though,” she said. “For making it up to me.”
I pulled a smirk onto my face. “Well, now you can go back to acting like a normal fecking person around me.”
She snorted. “Maybe.” Her eyes met mine and lingered, mesmerizing me once again with their beauty. But then they pulled away. “See you around,” she said and walked quickly away. I watched her go and tired to ignore the longing.
But now that it was here, I wasn’t sure I could hide it back away.
This isn’t you! These feelings weren’t mine, a stranger’s thoughts inside my head. A weak stranger who was going to just be disappointed in the end.
I needed a shower, a cold snap to wake me up. So I headed back to my room, cycling topics through my mind that weren’t Alice. What did I used to spend my time thinking about? Whiskey, business, pool, suits, money. Money. I grasped the topic in a bear hug and tried hard to care about how my investments might do this year.
I was so focused on picturing my portfolio that I didn’t notice her until she was right on top of me, grabbing me by the front of my shirt and physically yanking me into a hall off the main walkway inside the resort.
I groaned internally at the sight but kept my face passive. Margot. Hands on her hips, bright red lips pinched in rage, one heeled foot tapping on the hardwood with a pronounced click.
I glanced over my shoulder at the hall. There was some foot traffic, but it was mostly empty. I really hoped Alice didn’t decide to head up to the rooms too. She had an uncanny knack for stumbling on me at the very worst times and I had a feeling this was quickly about to be ‘not what it looks like’.
I tried to make it quick, though the look on Margot’s face suggested that she wasn’t going to be overly receptive to my apology.
“Look, I’m sorry about last night,” I started.
“You’re sorry?” she demanded. “Nobody stands me up. Ever.”
“Yeah, well I also didn’t think you’d have a husband,” I replied.
She rolled her eyes. “Oh bullshit, Mac. Of course you knew I had a husband. Why else were we hiding?”
I sighed. “Okay, fine. I suspected you might be here with someone.” My voice dropped to a hiss. “But I didn’t think it’d be the owner of the goddamn resort my best friend is getting married at! Do you know how bad that would have looked for me if we got caught?”
She brushed me off. “Don’t be ridiculous. I’ve never been caught.”
Now it was my turn to call bullshit. “We were caught yesterday. By the Maid of Honor of all people. That’s where I was last night, by the way. Making sure she wasn’t going to tell on us.”
Margot’s beautiful features twitched and she looked away. “I suppose that’s a good enough excuse,” she said. “But you should have told me.”
“You should have told me you were married to Lorne!”
Her face stiffened. “Then I guess we both made mistakes.” Her eyes traveled across my face and then down my body. Her long fingers hooked onto my shirt and brought me closer. “But we can still make up for lost time.” She paused. “Why do you smell like a stable?”
Another point against horses. In the enclosed space, I could smell myself too and it wasn’t great.
“Never mind,” she said before I could comment. “We can start in the shower.”
I gently but firmly pushed her back. “Sorry Margot. I’m not risking it. You’ll have to find someone else.”
Her brow furrowed. “You’re not saying no to me,” she stated.