That seemed to placate Shawn for now, and George tried not to dwell on it. But it stuck in the back of his mind like a sliver of wood beneath his skin—irritating and present. Doug was retiring and apparently wanted Levi to take over running Lucky’s when he did. When had Doug said this? Why hadn’t Levi mentioned it yet? And what did that mean for their future as a couple?
George had no idea and that terrified him.
* * *
Levi couldn’t put his finger on when things between himself and George changed. George was slower to respond to his texts. He didn’t answer Levi’s calls as frequently as Levi was used to. And the third week in March, George begged off their usual “weekend” together, citing a heavy workload. If everything else had been normal, Levi might not have worried about that. They couldn’t spend every bit of time off with each other; they needed to have life and work balance.
But this wasn’t their established normal, and Levi spent a lot of time either running the various trails, or playing with his cats and worrying he’d done something wrong. Upon reflection, he couldn’t think of a thing he could have said or done. Maybe George was having a minor personal crisis, and Levi hoped he trusted Levi enough to come to him. To talk about it and try to find a solution.
They saw each other the following week for their “weekend” and George was upbeat but also...not? Levi couldn’t put his finger on it because he wasn’t used to this side of George. The hard to read side who said all the right things but whose eyes were distant. Uncertain. Had George changed his mind about being with Levi but he didn’t know how to say it? Levi didn’t want to believe that, and when he tried to bring it up with George, George insisted he was fine. They were fine.
Levi didn’t agree they were fine but they also weren’t fighting, so what was this distance?
During that Friday’s routine demo at Bentley, Levi nearly fell off Zodiac during a standing run—a trick he could do in his freaking sleep—and once they finished, Robin dragged him away from the corral. “What is wrong with you, pal? You’re distracted, and it’s going to get you hurt.”
“I’m not sure.” Levi shrugged out of Robin’s hold and took a few steps away, closer to the tree line. “I get the sense that something is off with George but when I try to ask him about it, he says everything is fine. But I don’t think everything is fine.”
Robin crossed his arms. “What do you think could be wrong?”
“I don’t know. Orry and Zoey are doing great, so it’s not about them. George and I see each other as much as we can. I honestly don’t know how to make him talk to me, and I won’t see him in person again until Tuesday.”
“Do you think?” Robin shifted his weight, face pinched. “Do you think he found out about you being arrested? Or the attack?”
Levi’s gut rolled, and he pushed against those painful memories. “Maybe. It isn’t something I’ve talked to him about yet, and I need to. I also don’t see George pulling away if he found out about those things. That doesn’t feel like him. This is something else.”
“I didn’t figure on you two having issues talking to each other.”
“I didn’t think so either until recently. When I see him Tuesday we’ll go somewhere and talk about this. I ignored the weird vibes I got from Grant and we both know how that turned out.”
“George is nothing like Grant, though. George sees you. He’s with you for who you are and not just for your ass.”
“That’s for sure.”
Robin tilted his head to the side. “Wait, you guys don’t fuck?”
“No, and I’m perfectly fine with it, considering my history.” Levi ran a hand through his hair. “Maybe that’s it. Maybe George thinks I’ll get bored with us not having intercourse and leave him, so he’s keeping his distance? Ugh.”
“Talk to him on Tuesday, brother. Tell him everything. Let him absorb it and understand your perspective in the most informed way possible.”
“I will.” Tuesday felt like weeks away but at least he’d have work to keep him distracted for the next few days. George was the most important person in his life, and Levi would fight to keep him in it.
The weekend, naturally, slithered along like a drunk turtle, with phone calls and texts to George that left Levi both hopeful and uneasy. He spent a lot of his free time meditating, trying to clear his mind of worry and stay positive. Monday evening, after they returned the horses to the Clean Slate barn, Robin invited Levi over for a late dinner at the house. They were officially moved in and slowly decorating.
With Shawn still closing down the saloon, Levi drove Robin to the house in his pickup, and they ended up making rice bowls out of the various remnants of takeout and other dishes littering the fridge. “We need to go shopping soon and stock up,” Robin said of their bare pantry. “We’ve just been so busy with the house, there’s never time to really cook.”
“You don’t have to explain to me.” Levi sipped at his cola. “You and Shawn have had a busy few months getting settled in. Give yourself time to nest.”
“Believe me, we’re nesting. Neither one of us has ever really had our own space like this. Shawn went from living with his grandparents to renting a room from a cousin to living in his car. I went from sharing an RV with three other people to rooming with Ernie at the ranch.” He looked around their sparkling new kitchen with gentle affection Levi kind of envied. “This is our space. Our home.”
“I’m happy for you, Robin, I meant it. You both deserve this.”
“You deserve it too, man. And I expect George does, too.” He quirked an eyebrow. “Unless you decide to go on the road with Lucky’s.”
“I haven’t made any decisions about that.”
“What does George think?”
Levi’s heart skipped a beat. “He doesn’t know.”
“He doesn’t? But...”
“But what?”
Robin fiddled with his fork. “Something Shawn said a few weeks ago. He was talking to George and brought up Lucky’s, assuming you’d told George about the offer, and he said George reacted oddly. Surprised, but then he brushed it off like he knew exactly what Shawn was talking about.”
“What? Why didn’t you bring this up sooner?”
“I guess I assumed you actually tell your boyfriend about important shit, dude. Are you saying George has no idea Dad offered you Lucky’s?”
“Well, he obviously knows now.” Levi dropped his forehead into his hand and sighed. “That explains it all, I think. George’s odd distance these last few weeks. Fuck.” He leapt up from the table so fast he nearly toppled his chair over. “I have to go.”