“That was a traumatic moment for you. Him attacking you.” Levi scooted a few inches closer. “But I need you to know and believe me when I say I will never be physically, verbally, or emotionally violent with you, George. Not for any reason. I’ve survived too much violence to ever want to hurt another human soul.”
George’s chest ached for the new misery in Levi’s blue eyes. A flash and gone but it had been there, and he wanted to know more. “What sort of violence?”
Levi inhaled deeply, then let the breath out slowly. “After Xander died and I quit the rodeo, I went on what I can only describe as a year-long bender. I drank heavily and for a long time. Did some drugs but alcohol was easier to find. Spent all my savings. Ended up living in my car for a while, too angry and proud to call my dad for help. When my car got impounded for unpaid tickets, I started tricking out for a place to sleep. Prostituting for alcohol money.”
Shock jolted through George’s core at that confession. Levi didn’t look ashamed of his actions, though, more resigned to the fact that they’d happened. George also didn’t know what to say so he stayed silent. Grateful to Levi for sharing these painful truths.
“It all ended when I woke up in the ER, bloody and brutalized, and I had a perforated bowel injury that they treated endoscopically, so they kept me in hospital for a few days. After I detoxed, I called Dad and he came. I went straight into rehab, and I have been sober ever since. I turned my whole life around and I stopped being angry at the world over Xander’s accidental death. I didn’t even blame Robin anymore for goading Xander into getting up on a horse for the first time. I couldn’t hate and blame and be able to move forward.”
“I’m so sorry you went through that.” George raged and ached for the pain Levi must have gone through after his attack. “Did they ever catch the people who hurt you?”
“No. But I like to think that karma has or will soon catch up with each of them. I don’t have room in my heart to hate them anymore. Only to hope that they’ll change or face the consequences.”
“Then you’re a better person than me. I can’t imagine ever forgiving my abuser.”
“Adrian?”
“Yes.” His stomach twisted up tight. “Not only for berating me into an eating disorder but sometimes he’d lose his temper and shove me. He’d...grope me during practice. Obvious gropes, not accidents.”
Fury blazed in Levi’s eyes. “Did you tell anyone?”
“I told everyone who would listen after I quit skating, which I think is a huge part of why Adrian hates me so much. That last night I couldn’t bear the idea of working with him anymore if I won. Or the possible illness or violence if I lost, and I fell apart. Had a massive panic attack. My accusations of both the groping and the anorexia ruined his reputation as a coach. I obviously couldn’t prove anything but it was enough. No one would hire him.”
“You did the right thing.” Levi moved to the center of the futon. “You are a strong, strong man, George. Never doubt that. You have been battling your anxiety for so many years, and I am in awe of your strength.”
“Thank you. It’s a never-ending battle, but thank you.” George rested his hand on Levi’s thigh, needing the physical contact while his mind sorted through all this new information. “Since we’re bleeding our souls all over the place tonight, I have a confession to make.”
Levi covered George’s hand with his own. “Okay.”
“I called up Arthur Garrett’s horse rescue to inquire about working there. Working with horses. In Garrett.”
“You did?”
“Yes, and I’m honestly not sure why I did it. I mean, I love the ranch and being around those horses, and I love the work they do. Saving those beautiful animals and giving them a better life. They don’t have any job openings right now, and I don’t have any experience other than some YouTube videos I’ve been watching, but I also don’t want to close-caption porn forever. I mean, sure, it’s something I can do anywhere as long as I have Wi-Fi, but I also want to be part of something bigger.”
“Yeah?”
“Yes.” George closed the rest of the distance between them and pressed his shoulder to Levi’s. “I’m still upset with you for not telling me about the Lucky’s offer sooner, but I understand why you didn’t. And thank you for telling me what happened to you.”
“We both shared our truths tonight. Thank you for trusting me with yours, too.”
“You’re welcome.” They shared a single, tender kiss. “I guess you still don’t know what you want to do about Lucky’s, huh?”
“I really don’t. Like I said, I love livin’ on Garrett land. I love workin’ at the ghost town with Robin, seeing my brother every day. But the rodeo life is in my blood, and I hate the idea of Dad selling it off to someone else. I also hate the idea of being on the road for months at a time and not seeing you. Not holding you. Kissing you. Makin’ love to you.”
“Then let’s keep talking about it. Not necessarily tonight but going forward. I don’t want you to ever resent me for the choice you make about it.”
“I don’t think I could ever resent you, and I adore how supportive you’re being when you have every right to still be pissed.”
“There’s no point in staying mad. You weren’t being deliberately cruel. That’s not who you are. We talked. Maybe a little late, but we did talk. Honestly talked. And I think we’re in a really good place to move forward. To create a life unique to us as a committed couple.”
“So do I.” Levi leaned in and nuzzled his nose against George’s. “Forgive me for keeping my secret?”
“As long as you forgive me for already knowing it.”
They sealed that with a long, tender kiss George didn’t want to break. But he also didn’t want to end up humping his boyfriend on the futon when Orry could come back at any moment. George sent Orry a text that the coast was clear, then dragged Levi into his bedroom for a proper make-out session. They moved together in bed in a familiar way, worshiping each other’s body with hands and mouths and tongues.
Creating something wholly unique to them and their relationship. No one else’s. Perhaps they’d both stumbled a bit along the way, but George fell asleep that night positive they’d finally made all the right moves. They were on a united path toward a future that would make them both happy.
And George had never been more joyful in his life than with Levi by his side.
Epilogue
Nine Months Later
Levi brought two mugs of steaming hot cocoa to the sofa where George sat, Ginger already curled up on his lap. George’s laptop rested on a small C-shaped table he’d bought for ease of use in the tiny home’s limited workspace, and their scheduled Zoom call was still waiting on one person.