Admittedly, as a Sorcerer he was different. So his panther might be wrong about the mate thing.
Inside, it growled in displeasure at the direction of his thoughts. Never had his other half been so vocal, so certain of what he wanted. His cat strained insistently, longing to shift, to rub his scent all over the woman, bite her, mark her for all to see. Kalen imagined doing just that, with his cock buried deep inside her warm, wet sheath. For the first time, instead of having to summon his panther, Kalen had to concentrate to hold him back.
The beast roared and he channeled his energy into soothing it. Imagining a pool of clear blue surrounded by a tropical oasis, he poured a stream of calming light over his cat until it subsided, curling up again with a huff of annoyance. Still not satisfied in its wants, but tame once more.
“You sure you’re all right?” she asked.
He’d been off in his head again, and she’d been studying him the whole time. What did she see when she looked at him? A mess not worth keeping? He shifted uncomfortably. “I am now.”
“Is that the first time that’s happened?” She gestured to his face in general.
He nodded. “Yeah. Seems like he’s got a trick or three up his sleeve to keep me in line.”
“Are you going to talk to Nick about this and about last night?” Mackenzie asked softly.
“I’m going to try. And hope he doesn’t shoot me for real.”
“That’s not funny.”
“Wasn’t meant to be.”
“Do you want me to go with you to see him?”
Not having to face the boss alone was tempting. But the urge to protect her from the ugly reality of his situation was stronger—though it might be far too late. “I appreciate the moral support, but I’d better talk to him alone.”
“Okay. Just know the offer stands.”
“Thanks. That’s more than I deserve from you.”
“Oh, I don’t know about that.” A soft, secretive smile curved her lips.
A spark of light beamed through the gloom. “So you’re not going to make me beg for another chance? You never did answer me, you know.”
“No, I didn’t,” she agreed, sobering some. “To be honest, I’m not sure how to answer because I don’t know where this sudden change of heart is coming from.”
“It may seem like it’s coming from nowhere to you, but it’s not sudden for me,” he admitted, gut churning. “I didn’t want to walk away in the first place. I just . . . I know I’m about the worst thing that could ever happen to you, especially right now. But I can’t stop wanting you.”
The words came out raw, as if scraped with sandpaper. At least they were on the table, whatever she might decide. God, he was so afraid of the horror he could bring into her life. He was even more afraid of living his alone, with nothing but the temptation of evil for company.
“Wanting isn’t the same as needing,” she said softly. Her tone was contemplative rather than accusing. “Anyone can want something they don’t need, or that isn’t good for them.”
He couldn’t refute that, so he didn’t try.
Mackenzie fell silent, brow furrowed in thought as she drove. Kalen wondered if she thought less of him because of his choice of wording, but what he knew about women and how their brains worked wouldn’t fill the toes of his boots.
He’d been so lost in pondering the dilemma of the doc that it took him a few moments to realize she’d turned off the main highway and onto a dirt and gravel road that was little better than a path beaten out of the weeds.
“Um, where are we going?”
“You’ll see.”
“Finally decide to just take me out and shoot me yourself? Save Nick the trouble?”
“You’re awfully preoccupied with being shot.”
Because I deserve it. “Not really. Just curious about where you’re taking me.”
With a quick smile, she guided the car down the path, until at last it ended at a grassy clearing. Nearby was a creek and beyond that, a stand of trees where the forest resumed on the other side. The spot was beautiful, serene, and he told her so.
“This is gorgeous. It looks real peaceful.”
She shrugged, but appeared pleased that he liked it. “That’s why I come here sometimes, just to think. I’ve even brought a small picnic for one a couple of times, complete with a bottle of wine.”
That seemed sort of lonely and sad, but he could hardly cast stones in the loner department, so he kept his opinion to himself. “What about your friends I met at the bar? You haven’t brought them out here?”
“Amy and Shannon? No, they’re good friends, but this place is mine.”
“But you brought me,” he pointed out, puzzled. “Why me and not them?”
“Because it’s the sort of place you share with somebody special,” she said, fixing him with those pretty blue eyes.
“Oh.” His throat threatened to close up nice and tight. “Nobody’s ever called me that, except maybe Grandma.” Of course, that hadn’t been the same at all.
Reaching out, she cupped his cheek. He couldn’t help but lean in to her touch as she stroked, his cat stretching and purring in contentment.
“You are special,” she said quietly, eyes growing moist. “You’re amazing, talented, smart, and caring. And oh yeah, drop-dead gorgeous, too. You should be told those things every day of your life, and I’m sorry no one has until now.”
Before he could respond, she leaned toward him, lips pressing against his. The touch was electric, shooting a bolt of sheer bliss through every cell in his body. Her lips were soft, gentle, searching. He opened at her insistence, met her questing tongue with his own, tasted her sweetness.
There had been no kisses in his life. No joy until Mackenzie. He couldn’t walk away again. He wasn’t that strong.
When at last they broke apart, she gave him a soft smile. “How about we go for a walk?”
“Sounds good,” he managed.
Getting out, they met at the front of the car and automatically joined hands. He let her lead them across the clearing and simply appreciated the scenery—mostly the woman at his side. Just her presence was a balm to his troubled soul and he realized that though he’d forgotten to check his mental shields against Malik in the last few minutes, all was still calm in his head. He had no doubt she was the reason.