When he’s gone, I sit on the edge of the bed, feeling sick. Why didn’t I see this coming? Hell, I lied to them. There is no way that I can be allowed to stay. They can’t trust me. And who can blame them?
They think they’re letting me go for my own good, but what they don’t know is this is for their own good. They still don’t know everything about me. If they did, they definitely wouldn’t want to keep me. So, even though this hurts like hell, this is for the best.
I’ll remind myself of this lie every damn day until I believe it as the truth.
So, the only thing I can do is pack and be ready for Saint to come talk to me. And I’ll do my best not to let him see that this is killing me.
One hour later, my room is packed and I wait for that final knock on my door. When he knocks, I jump, but then I let him in. His face is unreadable as he closes the door behind him and I prepare myself for whatever he has to say. I owe him that much.
Saint looks down at me with those big, brown eyes that haunt my dreams. “I’m sorry, Olivia. You aren’t welcome here anymore.”
Even though I knew it was coming, my heart breaks. “Saint-”
“You’re not meant for a place like this. Hell, even when you were helping the feds you were still looking out for us.”
I can see it in his face – he’s not going to change his mind.
“Will I see you again?”
What if this is the last time I ever get to talk to him? What then?
He looks tired. “I don’t think so. The Prospects will make sure you get moved into your new place. And then we’ll leave you alone.”
“Just like that?” I shake my head. “Saint, this is wrong. I’m supposed to be here, with you, King, Bash, and Razor.”
“What kind of fucking life is that, Olivia?” he asks, his voice rising. “What? You want to be our whore for the rest of your life? Is that good enough for you?”
He’s just given me hope, even though he didn’t mean to.
“Your whore?”
“What?”
“You just said I was yours, too. Not just King, Razor, and Bash’s.”
I move closer to him. Heat radiates off his strong body.
“Saint, I’ll go, because I can see this is what you think needs to happen, but you have to do something for me first.”
“And that is?”
“Kiss me.”
His eyes widen and he shakes his head. “No.”
“I’m already yours, I’ve told you this. But, for some reason, you don’t think you’re good enough to be mine. You’re wrong, Saint Massacre, but you’ll have to figure that out on your own. So, until that happens, I’ll go. But not before you kiss me.”
I move closer to him, until we’re chest to chest.
“Saint.”
His head dips and his hot breath meets mine. He’s so close that all I have to do is lift just a little. But this has to be him. He has to be the one to want to kiss me. He moves even closer and my eyes close.
“Olivia. You need to leave. Now.”
Opening my eyes, I meet his gaze.
“Saint?”
He straightens. “Goodbye, Olivia.”
He walks away from me just as I feel the first signs of heartbreak. No! This isn’t how this ends! He doesn’t get to just send me away! Not when I let them in, breaking every single one of my rules!
“Saint.”
He doesn’t turn around this time.
“Saint!”
The door closes as he leaves and I sit on the floor, trying not to lose it.
I thought they were my saviors.
But I was wrong.
So fucking wrong.