He wasn’t invested in it; he wasn’t touching her or kissing her back. He was watching me. His hard eyes silently daring me to call him out.
It took everything I had not to jump on her back and tear her away from the guy who had unknowingly stolen my heart.
No, that wasn’t right. He hadn’t stolen it. I’d handed it over willingly. Secretly hoping it was enough.
That I was enough.
When all along, I knew wasn’t.
Jason Ford was the devil in sheep’s clothing and I was nothing more than a game wrapped up in a pretty package.
Something to pass the time.
A game he’d already grown tired of.
“I never had you down as a voyeur,” Jenna’s voice snapped me from my morose reverie. “But if you want to watch, maybe you’ll learn a thing or two.” She snickered into Jason’s shoulder.
Damn that hurt. I didn’t want to believe he’d told her that I’d given up my v-card to him, but at this point, anything was possible. Because I didn’t know Jason.
Maybe I never had.
“You’re welcome to him.” I barely managed to choke out the words.
Just for a brief moment I thought I saw a flash of regret in Jason’s gaze, but then he captured Jenna’s mouth and closed his eyes, losing himself in the kiss, showing me he hadn’t changed at all. He was still the cold-hearted bastard he’d always claimed to be. Only it was too late. He’d reeled me and then spat me out, not caring that he’d smashed my heart into a thousand pieces.
Pieces I knew would never heal right.
Somehow, despite the gaping hole in my chest, I managed to turn and walk away from them with my head held high.
From Jason.
For what I promised myself would be the final time.
“This is nice,” Mya said as we ate cookies and ice cream and watched cheesy movies. It had been Hailee’s idea after the disastrous end to last night.
I hadn’t even stopped to tell them I was leaving, I just needed to be far, far away from Jason and his poisonous words.
“I can’t remember the last time I had a girls’ night.”
“Pre-Cameron we did this a lot. Although most of our sleepovers ended up with Hailee plotting revenge on Jason.”
“Hey,” Hailee said, “We still hang out. You make it sound like now I have Cameron, I’m not around.”
“I’m joking, Hails. I’m happy for you, I am. After everything they put you through, you deserve all the happiness.”
“Your brother sounds like a grade-A asshole.” Mya’s eyes crinkled.
“My step-brother is an asshole. But he’s different lately.” Her gaze flicked to mine.
“Yeah, well, different or not,” I sighed, “he’s still a cold-hearted bastard.”
Mya and Hailee both looked at me with sympathy in their eyes. “Please don’t do that; don’t look at me like he ripped out my heart and trampled all over it. I wanted closure and I got it.”
“Yeah, but I still can’t believe he did that. And with Jenna, of all people.”
“Really, Hails? Because this is Jason we’re talking about. He’s disappointed me at every turn, why should last night have been any different?”
“I just thought that this time he would...” She swallowed the words.
“I know,” I said quietly, “me too.”
Although I knew exactly who Jason Ford was, part of me had still foolishly hoped he had changed. That I’d changed him. I had managed to convince myself I was different to the Jenna Jarvis’ of the world when all along I was exactly the same.
It was a bitter pill to swallow. But at least I’d seen his true colors once and for all. I could move on knowing I’d tried to smash through Jason’s steel walls. Even if it did suck that I failed.
“If you ask me, you’re better off without him. Jason Ford loves only two things: himself and football.”
“You’re not wrong there.” Hailee leaned over to high five Mya.
“Anyway, enough boy talk. I thought this was supposed to be girls’ night. What are your plans for after high school, Mya?”
“Ooh straight into the heavy stuff, I like it.” She crossed her legs in front of her and pushed her spiral curls from her face. “I always wanted to do something to help people, you know. Like drugs counselling or a school guidance counsellor.”
“Psych major?” I asked.
“Maybe, or education. I haven’t really narrowed it down, but I’m applying to Montclair State and Michigan. I want to go out of state but not too far away.”
“Me and Cameron are headed to Michigan.”
“No way.”
Hails nodded. “He was supposed to go to UPenn with Jason, but—”
“But he realized he couldn’t bear to be apart from Hailee and applied to Michigan instead.” The way my best friend blushed at my words was so darn cute.
“Wow, that’s... serious.”
Hailee shrugged. “I couldn’t imagine going without him.”
“I miss that,” Mya sighed. “Having someone to make plans with. What about you, Flick? Given anymore thought to your plans?”
“I thought the plan was to study business.” Hailee frowned at me.
“It was... I mean, it is.”
“But...”
“But I might be having teeny tiny second thoughts.”
“Oh shit, do your parents know?”
“What do you think?” My eyes rolled dramatically.
“I thought you were happy applying to UPenn and following in their footsteps?”
“I mean, yeah, I was. It’s always been the plan. Instilled in me from day one. But now, now I’m not so sure it’s what I want.”
Jason’s cruel words from last night filled my head. He thought I was applying to UPenn because it was where he was going, but it couldn’t be further from the truth. I was applying because it was expected. Because my parents wanted me to follow in their footsteps and continue their legacy. The exciting world of white-collar employment. And until recently, I had been all too happy to make them happy.
“You never said anything,” Hailee sounded dejected, her expression crestfallen.
“You know me, Hails,” I gave her a tight smile, “I’m a people pleaser, not a rulebreaker.” Until Jason. I left that strictly to Hailee and her vendetta against the guys.
“But this is your future. You can’t do something just because your parents want you to.”
“I know.” It had just taken me a while, and a little push from Mya, to find the courage to pursue my own path.
“So what are you going to do?”
That was the million-dollar question. I could pursue business at UPenn and make my parents happy or I could go after what I wanted. Chase my dreams.
The only problem was; I still didn’t know what they were.
“I’m going to work on my list.”
“Your list?” Hailee groaned. “Hasn’t that already caused enough trouble?”
“Actually, Mya helped me rethink a few things. I think it could be good for me to work toward completing it, and who knows, maybe I’ll figure out exactly what I want to do with my life.”