“Watch your tone, Son,” he said coolly, glancing around to make sure no one had overheard me. Because God forbid someone actually saw the real us, the father and son behind the fake smiles and state records. “I know you’re still upset over me and Denise—”
“Upset? Is that what you think? That I’m upset about you and Denise?” Bitter laughter rumbled in my chest. “I’m not upset about you and Denise; you two deserve each other. You have no fucking idea what it’s been like growing up in your shadow, a man respected and revered by an entire town. Knowing that without you, I probably wouldn’t be where I am today, but at the same time, knowing I’m who I am because of you. Cold. Callous... Cruel.”
“Jason, I—”
“Save it, Dad,” I ground out. “You have everything you need now, right? You have Denise and a son you can live vicariously through. And me? I’ve got football. At least I know the game will never disappoint me.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
Felicity
“Have you seen Jason?” were the first words out of Hailee’s mouth as she hurried over to us.
“No, we’ve been here the whole time,” Asher said.
“Crap, he and his dad got into it and Jason stormed off. He looked pretty pissed. I was going to go after him but someone stopped me to talk about the paintings.”
“Fuck,” Cam grumbled, pulling Hailee onto his lap. “This is the last thing we need.”
“You should go after him,” Asher said to me while I obsessed over how his best friend held my best friend. Intimately. Tenderly. As if she was the most precious thing in the whole world.
“I don’t know,” I said, dejection crawling up my throat like a cockroach, “he didn’t seem pleased to see me earlier.” In fact he’d acted like seeing me was the last thing he wanted. “Maybe I should just leave.”
“Ride or die, remember?” Hailee said, her eyes pleading with me. “At least try to talk to him. He looked really upset.”
My heart ached for Jason and I wanted to go after him, I did, but I wasn’t sure my heart would survive another rejection.
“He needs you, Fee.” Asher gave me a half-smile. “Besides, if you don’t go after him, one of us has to and I’m sure he’d rather see a pretty face than Cam’s ugly mug.”
“Fine, I’ll go.” I stood up. “Any ideas where I should try to look?” Coach Hasson’s place was like a maze.
“Try the boat shed or down by the river.”
“Okay, wish me luck.”
The three of them smiled. “Good luck,” Hailee said. “And don’t take no for an answer.”
On shaky legs, I crossed the Hasson’s yard, taking the path away from the main patio down to the river. It was dark out, nothing but the silvery hue of the moon lighting the way.
“Jason?” I whisper-hissed. “Are you down here?”
Met with nothing but silence, I kept walking, bypassing the boat shed. There was no one down here. I dropped down onto a rickety bench, watching the river shimmer and dance in the distance.
All night Jason had avoided me. But despite his cold shoulder, Hailee was right. I needed closure. I needed to know once and for all where I stood. Whether I’d dreamed up the growing connection between us. Because I knew what I felt, and Jason liked me. He just didn’t know how to handle it.
The seconds ticked by, the air like cold fingers ghosting over my face and neck. Shucking into my jacket, I stood up, ready to admit defeat and return to my friends when I heard a rustle. “Jason?” I called.
“You shouldn’t be down here,” he said from the shadows. I stepped closer, the sliver of moonlight bouncing off his hard profile, making him look even more intimidating than usual.
“I came to see if you’re okay. Hailee said she saw you arguing with your dad.”
“Hailee needs to learn to mind her own fucking business.” His tone matched his eyes.
Cold.
Guarded.
Completely devoid of emotion, despite the anger rippling off him in dark waves.
A shiver skittered along my spine and I hugged myself tight. “Jason, come on, talk to me, please.”
“And say what? I thought you got the memo yesterday.”
“So that’s it?” I stuffed down the sting of his harsh words. “You’re just going to walk away and pretend this, us, is nothing.”
“It is nothing,” he ground out. “I don’t know what else I can do to make you see that. You said it yourself, Giles; you were nothing more than a game. A game I won, and now I’m done with you.”
Tears pricked the corners of my eyes, but I would not cry, not in front of him. He didn’t deserve my tears.
Not a single one.
“Why are doing this? Why are you being so cruel? You care, Jason,” I said, steeling myself, “I know you do. You’re just scared. Scared of letting yourself feel something. Well, newsflash, I’m scared too. But I’m here. I’m willing to take a risk on you. On us.” My chest heaved with the weight of the words but Jason looked unaffected.
Indifferent.
“There is no us.” His sharp words made me flinch. “Why can’t you just accept that?”
“Because I don’t believe you. Last night—”
“You think last night meant something?” He sneered, the harshness of his stare like a hundred tiny daggers cutting into my skin. “I was doing Hailee a favor and saving everyone anymore embarrassment. You were a fucking mess.”
The words crashed over me, making my heart lurch into my throat. Blood pounded between my ears.
A fucking mess.
He hadn’t saved me because he cared… he’d saved me out of pity.
“God, I’m stupid.” So stupid. “I let them all convince me you liked me, that you needed me. But you don’t need anyone.”
People with no hearts didn’t have room to care about others let alone need them.
“Finally figured it out, huh?” He scratched his jaw absentmindedly.
“I hope you find what you’re looking for, Jason,” I said with nothing but quiet confidence. I might have been breaking inside, but he wouldn’t see me crumble.
Jason didn’t say anything as I turned and started walking away. But then his voice perforated the heavy silence. “Oh and Giles...”
“Yes?” I snapped over my shoulder, barely hanging on by a thread.
“You might want to think about applying to another school. Penn isn’t big enough for the both of us and I don’t know what crap you’re trying to pull but I don’t want you there.”
My lips parted on a pained gasp. I wanted to argue, to tell him me applying for UPenn had nothing to do with him and everything to do with my parents, my future, but a figure burst from the shadows.
“Hey, baby,” Jenna said, sidling up to Jason as if I wasn’t standing right there with tears in my eyes. “Miss me? Oh, hey, Felicity, I didn’t see you there.”
She saw me all right.
She just got great satisfaction over watching the blood drain from my face.
“You might want to run along now, unless you want to see the show, if you know what I mean.” She smirked before pressing her lips to Jason’s, making sure I got a front row seat.