“Tell me that says what I think it says.” My heart was pounding so hard I thought I might pass out.
“Oh, it says it all right.” Asher was beside me, staring at the curve of Felicity’s perfect breast like he’d never seen a girl’s naked tits before.
There in tiny Varsity font, stamped right across where her heart lay, were four little words that shouldn’t have pleased me so much.
Property of a Raider.
“Flick,” Hailee gasped, her eyes growing to saucers, “Please tell me that’s temporary.”
“It’s not.” She dropped her sweater, meeting my gaze. “Now, no matter what happens, a part of my heart will always be yours.”
“Holy fucking shit,” Asher slapped his hands against his thigh. “If you don’t put a ring on it, I will.” He smirked at me and I glared back, sending him a silent message.
Over my dead body.
Playlist
Two Weeks – FKA Twigs
River of Tears – Alessia Cara
Good Enough – Little Mix
Cruel – Glowie
11 Minutes – YUNGBLUD, ft. Halsey
Gotta Get Up – Moody
Better – Khalid
If I Go – Ella Eyre
Why Her Not Me – Grace Carter
I Gave It All – Aquilo
Bad Blood – Taylor Swift
Nightmare- Halsey
To the Hills – Laurel
Let Me Down Slowly – Alec Benjamin
Mother Tongue – Bring Me The Horizon
Fight For You – ALIUS, Rasmus Hagen
Don’t Let Me Down – The Chainsmokers
Love Me Or Leave Me – Little Mix
Easier – 5 Seconds of Summer
Only Want You – Rita Ora
Now You’re Gone – Tom Walker, Zara Larson
Power Over Me – Dermot Kennedy
Cross Me – Ed Sheeran, ft. Chance the Rapper
Fight For You – Man Made Machine
Love Again – New Hope Club
Say You Love Me – Jessie Ware
The Harder You Fall
To My Readers
Thank you for loving the Raiders as much as I do!
Chapter One
Mya
I woke startled, grasping the barely familiar sheets in my fingers as I tried to regulate my breathing.
It was just a dream, I silently whispered.
Just a messed up, distorted version of things. It wasn’t real.
“It’s not real,” my shaky words pierced the silence.
When I’d first moved to Rixon from Philadelphia, the nightmares had been every other night. My aunt wanted me to see a therapist, but I wasn’t about to sit in front of some shrink and let them dissect my dreams. I knew what haunted me in my sleep. I didn’t need to give it a name or reason or excuse.
Sometimes people experienced bad things and it left marks. Scars invisible from the outside but so real on the inside that you never forgot. You just learned how to deal. How to get up each day, paste on a smile, and survive.
Surviving in a place like Rixon might not have been a matter of life or death, but it still had its moments.
I finally pushed back the cover and climbed out of bed, trying to tame the dark, unruly spiral curls out of my face. My bedroom in my aunt’s house was small but cozy. She’d never had children, but she had tried her best to make it homely for an eighteen-year-old girl who was more of a stranger than family. Lilac wasn’t my color, but I appreciated the effort.
My favorite thing about my new space was the small adjoining bathroom. Aunt Ciara’s room adjoined the master suite which meant we didn’t have to share. A luxury I hadn’t been afforded back in Philly.
After washing my face and brushing my teeth, I pulled on some clean clothes and made a second attempt at fixing my hair, eventually settling on dragging it into a ponytail. The girl in the mirror looked like me but she hadn’t felt like me in a really long time. I guess that’s what happened when you were forced from your home, your life, and shipped off to live in the ass crack of nowhere. If I hadn’t been paired with Felicity Giles on my first day at my new school, Rixon High, I didn’t doubt my existence here would be almost intolerable.
As it was though, I had become fast friends with Felicity and her best friend Hailee Raine. Those girls were something else; refusing to conform to the Rixon way of football and more football. I decided to overlook the minor detail that they were both dating football players now. And not just any football players; Rixon Raider royalty to be exact. The irony wasn’t lost on me, or them for that matter. But you couldn’t help who you fell for. I knew that better than anyone.
My cell phone vibrated and I grabbed it off the desk, reading Felicity’s text.
* * *
Flick: Running late... I stopped over at the Ford’s.
* * *
Rolling my eyes, I typed a quick reply.
Me: Say no more. I’ll see you in a few.
* * *
That was what I loved about Felicity. Despite being in a relationship with one of the broodiest, meanest, and downright arrogant guys I’d ever met, she hadn’t wavered in her friend-ability. Every morning, even if she was a little late sometimes, Felicity picked me up for school. And every morning, we talked about all the things girlfriends should talk about.
My cell vibrated again and I smiled, eager to see whatever zany reply Flick had cooked up. But when I ran my eyes over the screen, I froze.
* * *
J: I need you, Mya. Please...
* * *
I quickly deleted the message and shoved my cell in my jean pocket. Trying to ignore the way it burned a hole. If I texted him back, we’d go around and around in circles like we always did.
Jermaine might have needed me.
But it wasn’t enough.
I wasn’t enough.
I never would be.
So I did what I’d done every day since arriving here. I grabbed my school bag, headed downstairs and waited for my ride.
Because sometimes pretending was better than facing the truth.
“Mya, come in,” Miss Hampstead, the school guidance counselor, smiled up at me from behind her desk. “How are you?”
“Okay, I guess.”
“You guess?”
“It’s Monday morning,” I said. “Can things ever really be okay on a Monday morning?” My lips curved into a tight smile.
“Oh, I don’t know.” She laughed softly. “I quite like Mondays. The start of a new week, the endless possibilities, the chance to be better.”
“Spoken like a true guidance counselor.”
We both laughed at that.
“So I just wanted to check in and see how you’re doing? Your teachers are all very pleased with your progress and your grades are looking great. Have you given college anymore thought?”
“Actually, I have.” I unzipped my bag and dug around inside, pulling out the stack of papers. Handing them to her, I sat back and waited. Miss Hampstead took her time, running her eyes over my notes.