“I’ve got you, Mya.” I pressed my fingers deeper, kissing her neck, sucking the soft skin between my teeth. My other hand slid up her stomach, underneath the jersey this time. I found the shell of her bra and yanked it down, teasing her nipple with my fingers.
“Ah, God,” she cried. “I’m going to…” Mya buried her face into my shoulder as she shattered around my fingers. Slowing my pace, I drew out her orgasm, holding her while she rode the waves of pleasure.
“You okay?” I asked, slowly detangling her from my chest.
“I’m good.” She smiled up at me, but I saw the hesitation there. Mya was already second guessing what had just gone down between us. But I didn’t want her to regret it. I didn’t want her to regret a single second with me.
“Come here.” Hooking an arm around her waist, I pulled her into me, her back to my chest.
“What are you doing?”
“Spooning. Friends can spoon, can’t they?” My hand rested against her stomach as I breathed her in.
“Yeah,” she chuckled softly. “Friends can spoon.”
“Night, Mya.”
“Night, Asher.”
Silence enveloped us and it wasn’t long before Mya’s breathing evened out. I was tired too, but I didn’t want to sleep. Not yet. I wanted to soak up her being here, in my arms. She might have needed the friend label for now, but as I lay there, listening to her little snores, I made a silent promise to myself.
One day Mya would call me more than just ‘friend’.
I woke to an empty bed. Limbs heavy with the lingering trace of sleep, I pushed up onto one elbow. “Mya?”
Nothing.
Rolling over, I fumbled on the nightstand and grabbed my cell phone. My heart sank at the text message on the screen.
* * *
Mya: Sorry I bailed. Needed to get back… I’ll see you soon though xo
* * *
Me: You ran.
* * *
Mya: I didn’t, I promise. I just… I need time. You said you could give that to me.
* * *
I wanted to tell her to stop fighting it, but I didn’t want to push her away. It was bad enough she’d snuck out on me this morning.
* * *
Me: I won’t let you run, Mya…
* * *
Mya: I’ll see you soon, okay?
* * *
Me: Yeah, whatever.
* * *
I threw my cell down on the bed and flopped back against the pillows. Last night had felt like a breakthrough. Mya had finally let down her walls enough for me to clamber over the side. But I should have known it was only temporary. She was too hung up on her ex, on all the reasons we couldn’t work. I didn’t want to be second string… not again.
I’d watched Flick fall hopelessly in love with my best friend. The first girl I’d ever felt something real for, even though I’d known any hope of us was doomed from the start. Mya was different though. Sure, there were obstacles but nothing worth having came easy.
I was prepared to fight for her.
But I couldn’t be the only one willing to go all in.
Chapter Eleven
Mya
I ran.
Again.
This time I wasn’t running away from people who had the power to hurt me though. I was running from the one person who wanted to heal me.
Waking up wrapped in Asher’s arms had been a harsh reality check. I couldn’t keep running; it was time to move on. To put the past behind me and get closure on that part of my life. The only catch was I knew it meant I had to go home.
“I’ve been thinking,” I said as Aunt Ciara plated up bacon and eggs. “I want to go home for Christmas.”
She clucked her tongue. “Mya, you know that’s not—”
“Hear me out, okay?” I grabbed the glass of juice and took a big swallow. “I’m done with Jermaine, with that life. But I need closure, Auntie. I need him to know it’s over, once and for all.”
“Your mama isn’t going to like it.”
“She’ll understand. I need to go back and make things right.” Because while Jermaine had been the reason I’d run, I didn’t doubt he thought I’d betrayed him.
After all, I had just up and left. If our roles were reversed, I’d want answers too.
“I’d ask you to come but...”
“Ain’t never going to step foot in that place again, and neither should you, girl. You’re free of that life now.” Her expression softened, eyes glazed with unshed tears. “I know you think you have to do this, Mya, but you don’t owe that boy nothing.”
She was wrong though. I might not have owed it to him, but I did owe it to myself to do this.
Jermaine had once been everything to me. Best friend. Protector. Lover. You didn’t just get over the kind of history we shared. And if I was truly going to give Asher a chance, give anyone else a chance, I needed to put Jermaine in the past once and for all.
First stop: getting a new cell phone number. Second stop: visiting Mom and saying a proper goodbye to my friends.
“This isn’t about him, Aunt C. It’s about me. My life is here now. But if I’m going to truly move on, I need to do this.”
“Your mama will probably already have plans with Keelan.”
“I know. I was thinking I’d go as soon as possible. That way I can avoid their plans and be here with you on Christmas Day.”
Mom and Keelan’s relationship was complicated. He’d never lived with us, but he’d had my mom eating out of the palm of his hand for as long as I could remember. They met when she started working at his club, The Diamond. Everyone in our neighborhood knew Keelan King. He’d once ruled the streets until he’d finally moved into more legitimate businesses. He still ruled his club with an iron fist. No gang activity. No drugs. And no touching his dancers.
For a neighborhood in Badlands, Mom could have ended up with much worse.
But I still didn’t like him. I didn’t like the way he held so much power over her. Money talked though, and it was something we’d never had enough of. Mom liked to think she was his queen, but I saw it for what it was; a man taking advantage of the situation. You didn’t walk away from someone like Keelan; he decided when he was done with you.
“I don’t like it,” Aunt Ciara said. “But I won’t stop you. Just be careful. After what happened before…”
“I’ve got this, I promise.” It was only a couple of days. I’d visit my mom, see my friends, and try to talk to Jermaine before I left. If I called Shona and let her know to keep it on the down-low, there was no reason everyone had to find out I was back unless I wanted them to.
“I’m proud of you, you know?”
“You are?” I asked.
“Damn straight, I am. People think walking away is the easy way out but it’s the other way around. Staying is easy, it’s walking away that’s hard. I know you care deeply for that boy but sometimes love isn’t enough.”