She didn’t need to tell me that.
It wasn’t enough for Keelan to make a real commitment to Mom, and it hadn’t been enough to make Jermaine make better life choices. It wasn’t enough for Mr. Bennet to respect his son’s hopes and dreams, and it wasn’t enough to make me stand by and watch Jermaine throw away his life.
But coming here, to Rixon, I’d also seen glimpses of when it was enough. It was enough for my aunt to take me in, no questions asked. It was enough for Jason to put his future on the line for Felicity, and it was enough for Asher to try to protect his mom.
Sometimes love was enough.
I just hadn’t had the fortune of experiencing it much yet.
At least if I put Jermaine behind me once and for all, I could carve my own path, decide who was worthy of my love.
“Mya?”
“Y- yes?” I blinked over at my aunt.
“Where’d you go just now?”
“Nowhere, Auntie.” Forcing a smile, I stuffed a piece of bacon into my mouth, swallowing the lie. Because I had been somewhere.
I’d been wrapped in Asher Bennet’s arms. Content. Happy.
Safe.
“I can’t believe you’re leaving.” Flick frowned, watching as I stuffed a clean pair of jeans into a backpack.
“I’m not leaving,” I said. “I’m getting closure.”
“Closure, right. And this closure wouldn’t happen to have anything to do with a certain Raider who I know you spent the night with, would it?”
“He told Jason?” My eyes almost bugged out, my stomach knotted into a tight ball.
“No, he didn’t tell Jason. Asher wouldn’t do that to you. Your aunt asked me how the sleepover at my house went last night. I put two and two together.”
“Crap, you didn’t—”
“Drop you in it? Of course not. I told her we had a great time braiding each other’s hair and baking cookies.”
“Very funny.” I balled up a t-shirt and threw it at her. Flick caught it, her shoulders shaking with laughter.
“So… what happened?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“That bad, huh?”
Letting out an exasperated breath, I sat in the chair. “It wasn’t bad… it was…”
“Ooh, something happened.” She clapped her hands, excitement dancing in her eyes. “Tell me something happened.”
“It’s not a big deal.”
Felicity’s brows crinkled. “If it wasn’t a big deal, you wouldn’t be acting so shady. Spill…”
“We kissed and then he… uh, there was some groping. Clothed groping.”
“Because that makes all the difference.” She rolled her eyes. “Did you… you know?”
“Come? Maybe… possibly…” Heat crept into my cheeks.
My friend let out a squeal of delight. “This is so exciting. Wait,” her frown reappeared, “why don’t you seem as excited about this development as I am?”
“Because it’s complicated.”
“Because of your ex?”
“Among other things.”
“You’re still hung up about the race thing? Because I’m telling you, no one will bat an eye if the two of you hook up.”
But they would.
Asher was a white privileged athlete, with good grades and a bright future ahead of him. A future I was almost certain the town wouldn’t want tainted by their beloved Raider hooking up with the poor Latina girl from the hood.
“I’m not getting into this again.” I sighed, resuming packing my bag. “I’m going home for a couple of days to see my mom and friends. Some space might do us good.”
“Does Asher know about this?”
“I don’t need his permission, Flick.” My tone was defensive.
“I’m not suggesting you do. But you’ve got to see it from his point of view. It looks like you’re running.”
“He said the same thing.” I pressed my lips together.
“At least explain it to him. Otherwise, he’s likely to think you’re running back to your ex.”
“I would never—”
“I know that and you know that, but he doesn’t know that.”
“Fine,” I conceded. “I’ll text him.”
“Good. Then hurry up and do whatever you need to do so you can get back here and we can celebrate.”
“We’re celebrating?”
“Hells yeah,” she shrieked. “This is huge. And perfect. We can all hang out now without anyone feeling left out and New York will be even better once you and Asher—”
“Whoa, slow down there. I’m not sure where this thing with Asher is going to go, Flick.”
“Oh hush, you want him. He wants you. What’s to figure out?”
If only life were that easy.
“Please don’t say anything to anyone, not yet.” My expression turned serious. “I’m not ready for anyone to know yet. That means Jason too.”
“Can I at least tell Hailee? She’ll be so happy for you.”
“Felicity,” I groaned.
“Fine.” She held up her hands. “My lips are sealed. You deserve to be happy, Mya, with someone who will treat you right.”
Her words hit me right between the chest, but I brushed them off. “I need to finish packing. Are you going to help or keep up the Dr. Phil routine?” My brow rose.
“Hey, I only care about you.”
Stopped dead in my tracks by her admission, I gave her a sad smile. “I know, I’m sorry. I guess I’m more nervous about going home than I thought I would be.”
“So, don’t go.”
“I have to,” I said defiantly. “It’s just something I have to do.”
It was over an hour’s ride to the city. I’d stuffed in my earbuds and hit play on one of my favorite playlists. It didn’t distract me enough though and before I knew it, I’d opened my chat history with Asher, re-reading our most recent messages.
Just like Felicity had warned me, he hadn’t taken the news I was returning home for a couple of days well.
* * *
Asher: What the fuck, Mya? I thought you were done with him?
* * *
Me: I am. That’s why I have to do this. I’m not trying to hurt you and I’m not going back there to fix things with him. But I need closure. Surely you can understand that?
* * *
Asher: I don’t know what to think right now. I woke up after one of the best nights of my life to find you gone and now I find out you’re leaving town. It feels a lot like you’re running to me.
* * *
That one hurt.
Because although I hadn’t told him yet, last night had also meant something to me. More than I ever thought it would. Which is why I had to do this.
A clean break.
My thumb scrolled the messages down to my last reply, the one that had gone unanswered.
* * *
Me: You said you’d wait for me… I’m asking you to keep your word.