“I’m sorry. I just…” He exhaled. “They say it takes losing everything to realize what you had, and, well, almost losing your mother, it was like something shifted inside me, Asher. Something fundamental.”
Didn’t I know it?
I’d lost Mya, let her slip through my fingers.
And now when I needed to fight for her, I wasn’t sure how to do it.
Actions speak louder than words. The thought hit me like a wrecking ball and I blurted out, “Will you be okay sitting with Mom for a while? There’s something I have to go take care of.”
His eyes narrowed a fraction, but not in their usual cold, assessing way. “Do I even need to ask where you’re going?”
“You can ask, but you won’t like the answer.” Standing up, I loomed over him. “You said almost losing Mom shifted something inside you. Well, it changed me too, Dad. And do you know what? Life is too short. It’s too fucking short to worry about what people think or what they might say if you go against the grain.
“I love Mya. I love her so much. And I pushed her away. I pushed her away because I thought it was what I should do; what you and everyone else thought I should do. But screw that. Mya is a good person. So much better than you or me. She’s strong and brave and beautiful on the inside and out, and I’m so lucky to have called her mine.” And such a fucking idiot for ever pushing her away.
Dad stared up at me, his lips pressed into a thin, disapproving line. This was usually the part where he went off at me about responsibility and reputation and all the other bullshit rules he’d lived his life by. But I realized now, this wasn’t his life.
It was mine.
“What?” I said, disarmed at his silence. “Don’t you have anything to say?”
“Oh, I have plenty to say.” His expression softened in a way that rendered me speechless. “But something tells me you’re not going to listen anymore, so I think I’ll save my breath.”
My mouth tipped at one corner. “I think that’s the most real thing you’ve said to me in years.”
He chuckled at that.
It was weird.
The whole fucking thing was weird.
We’d been at odds for so long, I’d forgotten what it felt like to be on the same side. Even if we were still sitting at either end, a vast space between us. It didn’t matter though. He needed to focus on Mom. If he was going to prove he’d changed, that losing Mom had made him realize what was important in life, then he needed to let me walk away and make my own decisions. He needed to let me walk my own path.
A path I hoped led me straight back to Mya.
“You sure about this?” Jason asked as I folded the last note and added it to the pile.
“Never been surer.” I looked at my two best friends and grinned. “But if this doesn’t work, you’ll probably have to lock me up in a cupboard until graduation because I can’t promise I won’t do something stupid.”
“Don’t talk like that.” A dark look crossed Cameron’s expression.
“I’m joking,” I laughed. “It was a joke.” Well, for the most part. Although I was pretty certain I would go off the deep end if Mya didn’t take me back.
I needed her in a way I couldn’t explain.
A way I didn’t even want to try to understand.
“I gotta say, man,” Jase said, “I didn’t know if you had it in you.”
“Fuck off,” I grunted. “We can’t all be like you.”
“What do you think he’ll say?” Cam asked me, wariness in his eyes.
“Honestly, it doesn’t matter; not anymore. He hasn’t been my father in a real long time.” I hesitated.
“Tell me I’m not going to have to kick Mr. Bennet’s ass all over town, because you know I’ll do it, even if it’ll land me in a whole world of trouble with Penn.”
“There are some things I need to tell you, yeah.” I dragged a hand down my face. “But I want you both to know that the only reason I didn’t tell you is because I was ashamed. Well, that and my father is a piece of shit and as good as blackmailed me.”
“What the fuck, man?” Jase’s eyes bugged, the vein in his neck throbbing violently.
“If I tell you—”
“When, when you fucking tell us. I’m not kidding, Ash, if something happened—”
“Jase.” Cam laid a hand on his shoulder. “Let him talk.”
“Thanks.” I gave my calmer friend an appreciative nod. “If I tell you everything, I want something from you in return.”
“Anything, you know that,” Cam said without hesitation.
“It ends with us,” I said. “As much as it pains me to say this, Mom is going to need him and he’s changed, I really believe he has. I don’t want what I’m about to tell you to go further than the three of us, okay?”
“But Mya knows?” Jase rubbed his jaw.
“She does.”
“Good,” he said, his shoulders dropping. “I’m glad you have her, man.”
I didn’t have her yet, but if my plan worked out, I would soon enough.
First though, I needed to lay all my secrets to rest.
I needed to tell my friends the truth.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Mya
I didn’t see Asher all week. By the time Friday rolled round, I was beginning to think he’d given up on us.
On me.
Then I found it. A folded white note that fluttered out of my locker when I’d gone to collect some books I needed.
* * *
Mya
I thought long and hard about how to fix things between us… in the end I realized actions speak louder than words.
* * *
I love you more than words can say
And I know you love me too
So take a risk on me today
And let me show you the story of me and you
* * *
I glanced round, half-expecting Asher to leap out from somewhere and say, ‘gotcha’. But no one appeared. In fact, no one paid me any attention as I re-read the note, absorbing every detail. It made zero sense. Until my cell vibrated.
* * *
Asher: Your driver awaits outside.
* * *
He was serious, he really wanted me to cut class.
* * *
Me: You’ve lost your damn mind.
* * *
Asher: I’m crazy. Crazy for you. Now hurry or you’ll miss your ride.
* * *
He’d lost his goddamn mind. But I couldn’t deny a thrill shot through me at his boldness. My cell vibrated again, and I smiled when I read his words.
* * *
Asher: Time’s ticking, Hernandez.
* * *
Hernandez. God, it felt like forever since he’d called me that. Since things had been easy between us.