Deep down it didn’t surprise me, but it didn’t make it any easier to hear.
“You should leave,” I seethed.
“L- leave?” She blanched. “I don’t understand. I thought—”
“You thought what? That now me and Mya are no longer together, I’d get with you?” A dark chuckle spilled from my lips. “I wouldn’t touch you if you were the last girl on the planet.”
Tears glossed her eyes. “But we’re—”
“What? The same? Well suited? Destined to be?” I mocked dryly. “You don’t know anything about me!”
People were watching now. Jason and Cameron slowly inching their way over to us, concern pinching their expressions.
“Asher, calm down.” Kellie tried to save face. “You’re making a scene.” She fluffed her hair as if it held the power to fix the mess she’d created.
It didn’t.
“Get the fuck out of my house and don’t ever come back.” My best friends came to my side, Hailee and Flick watching on from over by the door.
“You heard him,” Jase said coolly. No one ignored his word. In Rixon High, Jason Ford’s word was final. Kellie sniffled back a tear and spun on her heel before running out of the house.
“And don’t let the door hit you on the way out,” I yelled, my chest heaving.
“What was all that about?” he asked.
“How much did you hear?”
“Enough to know she pissed you the hell off.”
“She was fucking with Mya.” Shame burned through me. I’d done this. I’d given people the impression I blamed her.
I’d stoked the flames.
“Fuck. I think I really screwed up, you guys.”
“No shit.” Cam folded his arms across his chest, pinning me with a hard look.
“We all screw up,” Jase added. “We’re guys, it’s what we do. But the question is how do you plan on fixing it?”
“I don’t know,” I admitted.
But I’d figure it out.
I had to.
Because losing Mya for good was not an option.
It never was.
I’d just been too blinded by pain and grief to see it.
“Can’t you drive any faster?” I tapped my hand against my knee, my eyes searching the dark empty streets for Mya.
She wasn’t answering her cell. Fuck knows, I’d called it enough. I knew Mya would most likely ignore me, so I used Felicity’s phone. But still, she didn’t pick up.
“There.” I saw the shadowy silhouette of Mya’s profile up ahead. “Stop the car.”
“Asher, just give me a—”
“Stop the damn car,” I rushed out, my hand already clutching the handle ready to push. The car slammed to a halt and I leaped out. “Mya, wait up,” I called.
“Go away, Asher.” She stepped up her pace but there was no way she could outrun me.
I broke into a jog, darting across the street and falling into step beside her. “Don’t you know it’s not safe to walk home alone?”
“The only danger I see out here is you.” Her eyes simmered with emotion as she looked up at me.
“Let me walk you the rest of the way home, please?”
“It’s a free country, you can do whatever you want,” she shot back, but there wasn’t the usual amount of fight in her words.
I knew I’d done that. I’d dimmed her spark.
And I hated myself for it.
I glanced back, but Felicity had already pulled a U-turn and disappeared. I owed her big time; not only for bringing me here but trusting me enough to be alone with Mya.
“I kicked Kellie out of my house,” I said.
“You did?” Her eyes were fixed ahead, but I couldn’t take my eyes off her.
“I know what she said to you, what my dad said about you. And it makes me sick to my stomach thinking that you might think I agree with them, about any of it.”
“Asher,” she sighed, coming to a stop. “Don’t do this, please.”
“Do what? What am I doing, Mya?” We’d turned into one another, like magnets.
I’d watched my two best friends fall ass over elbow in love, hard and fast. And I’d wanted it too… shit, I’d wanted it so badly. To have that one person who got you. Who loved you unconditionally. But I hadn’t known how powerful it could be when you found them. How something inside you shifted, making room for the ties that bound you together.
“You’re acting as if everything is okay between us.”
“I’m not… fuck, Mya. I’m so fucking sorry.”
“Asher…” she breathed my name. “Don’t make this any harder than it needs to be. I’m so happy your mom’s awake but this, us, it’s over.”
Over.
The word splintered through me like a knife to the stomach.
We weren’t over.
We couldn’t be.
“I deserve that, I do. I deserve for you to walk away and never look back. But you can’t look me in the eye and tell me you don’t still feel it.” I inched closer, bringing my hand to her cheek. Mya turned into me, pressing her skin against mine, her shoulders dropping slightly as if my touch unwound something deep inside her.
“You feel it,” I whispered, my mouth hovering near the corner of hers. I hadn’t planned to chase after her and kiss her. There was too much I needed to say first. But now I was standing here, with her so close, it was impossible not to be swept up in the pull.
“Asher, please…” Mya’s voice cracked, her eyes fluttering closed as I kissed the corner of her mouth.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for pushing you away. I’m sorry for treating you like you were to blame. But most of all, I’m sorry for ever letting you think I didn’t want you anymore.” My hand curled around the back of her neck, drawing her closer, touching my head to hers. “I will always want you, Mya. You own my heart and I don’t ever want it back.”
I eased back to look at her. Tears streaked down Mya’s cheeks, her eyes glittering with so much emotion it knocked the air clean from my lungs. “I want to believe you,” she whispered. “I want to believe we can get through this. But your dad—”
“Is not important.” I captured her lips again, kissing her softly and with caution. The last thing I wanted was to scare her away, but I needed this. I needed to taste her, to take comfort in her.
“I thought she was going to die.” My confession pierced the silent night. “I saw her lying there and I thought she was going to leave me. It doesn’t excuse anything I did or said to you, but I was scared. I was so fucking scared, Mya.” My hands cupped her face. “It felt like I had to choose. You or her. It’s fucked up, I know, but you deserve the truth.”
“You blamed me.”
“I didn’t, not really. But I can’t deny it was hard to separate my thoughts about you with my thoughts about Jermaine. So many times I wanted to call you or text you or just hear your voice, but the more time passed, the more the darkness consumed me.”
Mya’s hand had slid to my sweater, curling into the fabric. “And if she hadn’t woken up?”