"We shouldn't do this." For so many good reasons, but Rook did whatever he wanted. Went after it with everything he had. And right now, he seemed to want me. I was confused, but with all of the blood in my body racing down to my cock, it was hard to think straight.
"Why?" He arched a brow. "Everyone's at dinner. No one is going to walk in."
We’d broken so many rules, I couldn’t even remember what they were anymore. Frustrated because I knew I was seconds from caving, I made a last-ditch effort to stop this train wreck with heartache painted on the mangled sides and whisper-yelled, “Rule number twenty! Stop breaking the rules!"
Rook slowly shook his head. “Veto. Now let me see your cock, Noah.”
Keeping my gaze on his, I tugged at the knot at my waist.
Rook's eyes filled with molten lava as I slowly opened my towel. My cock sprang free, and he groaned, his hand moving faster.
My gaze locked on the movement. If we were doing this, I wanted to see everything too. "Your turn."
He didn't hesitate, ripping the towel away.
My mouth went dry at the sight of his long fingers curled around his bare cock. He was long and thick. The tip shiny with a drop of come beading at the center. The dryness of my mouth disappeared as my mouth watered. I wanted him to shove his cock down my throat. I wanted so many damn things in that moment, but we were already crossing so many lines. Lines I knew were drawn but couldn't remember where, when the one thing I wanted most was to watch him come.
“I was sucking your cock while jerking off,” I finally admitted.
Rook's groan tore from his throat, echoing off the walls. “Fuck. Just thinking about your mouth on my cock makes me crazy. I can only imagine what it would feel like."
"What are we doing?" I panted as a corner of my mind screamed that we were making a huge mistake. "We have to stop before this goes too far."
With more restraint than I'd ever needed to practice in my life, I jerked my gaze away, released my cock and pushed to my feet. Before I could take a step, a heavy hand pushed against my chest and my back slammed against the wood wall. I glared at Rook who only stood a few inches taller.
His eyes blazed, heat and frustration swirling in their depths. "Stop worrying about what we should or shouldn't do. What do you want? Want to end this? Fine. I'll let you go. But stop worrying things will go bad. We're past that."
"We're not," I insisted, but I was caught off guard and unable to think clearly. He may have known he'd wanted me, but I was just finding out and was suffering a severe case of whiplash. Things had changed within a span of minutes. What did he expect of me?
"Noah, if you don't stop me, I'm going to kiss you." He swallowed. "And I'm going to touch you."
He moved in. I didn't stop him. Against my better judgment, I held still as his warm lips touched mine. They lingered, and I closed my eyes, absorbing the moment before it broke. Because it would. It had to.
When he pulled away, I licked my lips, tasting salt from his sweat.
Tracking my movements, Rook growled before slamming back against me and slanting his mouth over mine. Without hesitation, I parted my lips, letting him in and soaking in the heady groans clawing up his throat.
He wanted this, and there was no confusion or hesitation behind his actions. He was all in, and I was a slave to the sounds coming from his chest as he dug his fingers through my hair, forcing me to change angles to deepen the kiss.
Then Rook did something I'd only imagined in my fantasies in the dark of night. He pressed his bare cock against mine. I shook. The earth beneath my feet quaked. And fire raced through my veins. Curses spilled from my lips, filling the otherwise silent space, pleas for more.
He gave it to me, slowly rolling his hips—a stark contrast to the way he took my mouth. The first slide of his shaft alongside mine made my eyes roll back and a moan fell from my lips.
"You like that?" he rasped as he broke away. "Want more? Please tell me you fucking do."
"Yes," I hissed. The only fucking thing I wanted was more. "I need it."
His grip on my hair tightened as he brought his hand between us. When he stopped moving, my eyes focused again and found him staring down between us. My gaze wandered down his naked body to where his hand hovered close to our cocks.
"Rook, you don't have to do this." Though it was the last thing I wanted, it was probably better that we stopped anyway. I glanced back at his face. "Let's just forget this—" The word ended on a moan when he wrapped his large roughened hand around our cocks.
"Fuck," he cursed, tightening his fist.
My mouth opened, but no sound came out. It was sensation overload, and against my will, my eyes drifted closed. We both held still, unmoving as our chests heaved. The pause lasted a beat too long, so I forced my eyes open. "What's wrong?"
"Trying not to come yet." He stared at me through hooded eyes. "You squirming isn't fucking helping."
Yet. The word ricocheted around my brain. Though I'd been thinking it, hearing it was different. Unwelcome, reality came barging in with a heavy dose of panic. Placing my hands against his chest, I pushed him back, and his hand fell away. "Rook, stop. Let me think."
"Thinking is overrated." He scanned my face with a needy gaze.
When I stepped to the side to catch my breath, I both hated myself for ending what likely would’ve been the best experience of my life, and praised myself for my restraint.
"Noah…" Rook sighed before taking a step back and scrubbing his jaw. With a frustrated sigh, he snapped up his towel from the bench behind him. "I know what I want, and we aren't done here. You need time to think, fine. But don't start freaking out."
"I'm not freaking out, but that shouldn't have happened." When I locked eyes with him, I silently begged him to understand.
He pursed his lips and then gave a stiff nod. "Fine. It never happened then."
A heaviness settled on my shoulders and weighed on my heart. "It was a mistake. Neither of us were thinking."
"That's all I've been doing." He gave me a tight grin. "But it sounds like your mind is made up. I'm not going to beg you to explore this thing between us, and don't tell me it was nothing. That was everything, and I was a moron for not realizing it sooner." He shook his head and gave a quiet chuckle. "Not that it would have mattered, I guess."
It would have mattered. It mattered now. But I was scared. Messing around, feeding his curiosity was one thing. Breaking my heart was another.
Twelve
Noah
The next morning, we joined the wedding party out in an open field of snow where several red wooden sleighs were lined up. Rook and I claimed one quickly and dove under the throw folded on our seat. Each sleigh sat up to six people. Normal-sized people. Between Rook and I, we occupied the entire second bench.
Two massive Clydesdales stood patiently up front as we waited for Noah's mom and James to board. An occasional head shake and snort startled me. I could tell the horses were gentle, but I was man enough to admit their sheer size was intimidating. Or to think it, at least.