He moves to sit, but the second he’s down, his leg begins to bounce.
“Talk to me,” I urge. “Tell me your concerns.”
“I may not be the same man if I get out of prison.”
“When,” I clarify.
“Prison is dangerous for cops. I’m only out on bond because the judge was worried I’d end up getting killed in jail.”
I swallow thickly, emotions threatening to bubble up.
“Okay.” I don’t know what else to say. He doesn’t seem like he’s in the right head space to argue about the path his future is taking, and I don’t know enough about his case to argue.
“Like I said, I could come out different. Those situations harden people.”
“Do you plan to be a criminal when you get out?”
“No.”
“Do you plan to join a gang or something while in prison?”
“Of course not.”
“Do you regret what you did?”
“Every damn day,” he says without hesitation.
“Why did you do it?”
“There were—” He snaps his mouth closed, his eyes looking anywhere but at me. “Circumstances.”
“Ones you don’t want to tell me about?” He doesn’t speak. “I understand it’s an open case.”
I plan to leave it at that, but he clutches my hand.
“You died that night.”
“Wh-What?”
“The girl in the car looked like you. Her car was similar to yours. I didn’t think. I didn’t take the time to assess the entire situation. She begged me to help her right before she died. In my head, the girl that took her last breath that night was you.”
“Wh-What?” I hear the words, but they can’t be true. Tears don’t even have the chance to burn the backs of my eyes before they start rolling down my cheeks, leaving hot, angry streaks behind.
“I thought she was you. That man was pissed about his truck being impounded, and I just flipped out.”
“You blacked out?”
He shakes his head. “I knew exactly what I was doing. I could easily lie and say I didn’t, but I can still feel the impact of my knuckles on his face.”
He drops my hand as if his are still tainted with the man’s blood.
“You were gone, and he was arguing with Warren about impound fees.”
“You killed him for me?”
I don’t even know how to feel about such brutal vengeance being committed in my name.
“Maybe? I don’t know. I didn’t mean for it to end that way. I didn’t hit him the first time with the intention of killing him, but once I got started, I couldn’t stop. Yours—Megan’s words help me just echoed in my head.”
“M-Megan?”
“I didn’t even know her name when I walked up to the wreck that night. It was pure luck. I acted before I even knew.”
“I told you my name was Megan.” A ragged sob bubbles from my throat. “I caused this.”
“No,” he snaps, his eyes finding my face when moments ago it seemed like he couldn’t even stomach the sight of me. Tears form on his bottom lashes before losing the battle and running down his face. “My actions are my own. Two families lost someone that night, and neither one of them deserved what they got.”
He sweeps a thumb over my cheek, and I don’t even try to resist turning my face to prolong the contact.
“I thought you lied to me when the information came out. Megan wasn’t a college student. She didn’t have any aspirations of being a teacher.”
“You remembered all of that?”
“I remembered everything.” His hand cups my cheek, but my own guilt is preventing me from looking him in the eyes. “She was married. Her husband came to the jail to thank me for killing that man. I wanted to beat him, and that made no sense because the man just lost his wife.”
“It’s why you were so stunned when you showed up here.”
He nods. “I thought I was losing my mind. I was so angry. I was mad at a dead girl for lying, at myself for not trying to hold on to you that night at the diner. I’ve kicked myself a million times for handling things the way I did. If only I had told you that I wanted to see you again, or convinced you to come home with me that night, things could’ve been different. Maybe you wouldn’t have been on the road that night.”
“But I was here. I was safe.”
“Yes.” He presses his forehead to mine. “You’re safe. We’re having a baby.”
“Everything is fine,” I promise him.
When my hands reach up to clasp at his neck, he jerks away, standing from the lounger and turning his back to me.
“Everything isn’t fine. I killed a man.”
“Because of me.” It’s going to take a while for me to process this information. “Does your attorney know?”
He shakes his head. “And he won’t find out. The reasoning doesn’t matter. As a cop, I’m expected to handle situations differently. Emotions aren’t supposed to get involved. I was wrong that night, and I’ll be punished for it.”
“So you’re a martyr now?” I snap. “If you explain what happened—”
He spins to face me, resolve on his face rather than the anger I expect. “I’m going to prison. I want to be in the baby’s life, but I understand if that’s not something you want.”
“I want that,” I assure him.
“I want to get to know you better. I want to spend the time I have left before my court date getting to know the mother of my child.”
“Okay,” I agree.
I don’t know where this is going to end up leading the three of us, but I know the man standing in front of me is a good man, one any child would be blessed to know, despite the way he sees himself.
Chapter 12
Drew
“Do you want to explain why you’ve been carrying that same bag of candy around?” Sophia asks, and I do my best to hide my smile.
“I like candy,” Izzy says, her eyes darting to mine like we have a secret.
I wink at her, loving the way her cheeks turn pink and how her bright eyes sparkle.
“What’s going on?” Sophia asks, sounding confused, and that confirms my suspicions that Izzy hasn’t told her best friend what I told her several nights ago.
She doesn’t owe me anything, but she understands that what I told her isn’t something I want spread around. Something changed between us that night, and it was hard as hell to just press my lips to her temple when we walked back across the street and not wrap my arms around her and beg her to come home with me.
“I’m missing something,” Sophia prods.
“Leave them alone,” Colton says shifting her weight on his lap so she can’t glare at Izzy.
“Can I have one?” Sophia asks, her hand out.
“No.” Izzy clutches the bag closer to her chest.
“Is it special candy or something? I like Reese’s, too.”
“They’re just mine.”
And they’re not going to go away because I’ve been refilling it each day, noticing how she prefers the cups with the pieces inside of them.