You’ll always be my number one!
XXX
I smile at her corniness and place the card beside the vase the stems are resting in.
They’re really beautiful and exactly the thing I needed to make this homecoming a little more pleasant.
A noise from the room next door stops me in my tracks to the bathroom, and I hold my breath as I wait to see if he’s going to come barreling in here to have it out with me.
But after a few seconds and no more noise, I figure that he’s leaving me alone and I go back to what I was doing.
31
Ashton
My fists curl in the sheets beneath me as I listen to her quiet footsteps climb the stairs.
Every inch of me wants to pull the door open and drag her in here so we can finish what we started earlier.
She can shout, scream, hit me all she wants. I deserve it. Maybe not for showing up to support her this weekend, but for all the other shit I’ve pulled.
But I lie there doing nothing.
I need to let her cool off. I can’t chase her. Yet.
After long painful minutes of listening to her move about in her room, a knock sounds out on my bedroom door.
After I got back, I refused to eat with, or even talk to, Dad and Lisa. I just wanted to hide. So after grabbing a couple of cans of soda and a bag of chips, that’s exactly what I did. Although not before Dad called out after me that I had twelve hours to get my shit together because tomorrow the principal was expecting me at Rosewood High bright and early to start my new life.
Great. I can’t fucking wait.
I thought I was nearly done with school. Okay, so I wouldn’t have graduated like Mom was hoping for, but I would have been done and free to do whatever I wanted.
Now though, I’m going backward.
“The perfect opportunity to start over and make something of myself,” Dad had called up the stairs as I walked away from him earlier.
I guess that could be true. I could actually attend school instead of getting wasted and high with the Kingston boys and actually give myself a future. But dropping back to being a junior fucking sucks. Even if Rosewood has a killer football team. Do I really want to do it all over again?
Whoever it is knocks again and I freeze. Did I miss her moving around and coming to my door? My heart pounds at the thought of her appearing in the doorway, but when I call out and the door swings open, it’s not Ruby standing there. I almost roll my eyes at myself, of course it’s not her, it’s Dad coming to give me a lecture I’m sure.
“You busy?”
I raise a brow at him. I’m lying on my bed doing absolutely nothing. Do I look busy?
“No.”
“Can you come down to my office? We need to have a chat.”
I want to refuse, continue to be the asshole that I’m sure I’ve convinced him that I am since I moved here. But he’s right. It’s time we talked.
“Sure, lead the way.”
The walk down to his office is tense as fuck, but I fight my need to turn around and hide back in my room. This chat has been a long time coming, years actually.
“Take a seat.” I do as I’m told, grinding my teeth the entire time.
“I’ve spoken to Principal Hartmann. He’s gotten your transfer papers from your old place and he’s happy for you to join as a junior now ready to restart your senior year next semester. It sounds like you’ve had a glowing reference from your old coach, and Hartmann has already mentioned you joining the team. I really think you should consider it.”
I nod at him, he’s not saying anything that I don’t already know. And as for the team, playing football will probably be the only thing that gets me through all of this, so yeah, I’m on board with that.
“He will introduce you to Coach and some of the team tomorrow, no doubt. But I need to warn you that I’ve told him that you are going to take this seriously. This is your second chance, Ashton. Not many people get the chance to right their wrongs like this. Your attendance and GPA are poor, and if it weren’t for your skills on the field, I really think Hartmann would have had second thoughts about allowing you into his school. I’ve assured him that you’re going to be an asset to both the school and the team, and I really need you to be on board.”
I stare at him, unsure what he’s really expecting of me. I’ve always hated school. Football is the only good thing about education as far as I’m concerned, so I’m finding it hard to get excited about this new start like I think he’s expecting of me.
“Did you know Mom was saving all the money you’ve sent her since the day you left?” I blurt out, needing to change the subject away from me, having to promise something I’m already sure I can’t deliver on.
“Uh... no.” The frown line on his head tells me that he had no clue.
“I knew you sent money, she told me time and time again when I blamed our shitty living situation on you. So I just assumed you never sent enough.”
“Ashton, every month I sent—”
“I know, I found it.”
“Found it?”
“I discovered her journals in her room. I started reading this year’s. She kept all your money in an account. She was waiting until I finished school and she planned to move us both to Maddison County to start over. She wanted to buy a house, give me better opportunities, and for us to be closer.”
“Wow, okay,” he breathes, slumping back in his chair.
“I thought you were the bad guy who wasn’t looking after us—me.”
“Ash, no. I know I left, but things weren’t good between your mom and me. I loved her, I always will, she was such a huge part of my life, but things were long over by the time I reconnected with Lisa online. My priority was always you, making sure you were safe, looked after.”
“But you saw how we lived, you left us like that.”
“Your mom was a stubborn and independent woman, Ash. I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you that. I tried to help, to give her more, to do what I thought you both needed but she wouldn’t accept it. She wanted me to be happy here just as much as I wanted you both to be. She didn’t want to drag me into your lives more than necessary because technically, I gave up that right when I left Seattle.”
I blow out a long breath, dragging my eyes from his and staring down at his desk between us.
“I won’t sit here and say that I did everything right, Ash, because I know that I didn’t. Our relationship wouldn’t have been what it has if I’d done things right. But I tried. All I wanted was for you to have the best start in life.”
“You’re not the only one who’s fucked things up.”
He shakes his head. “None of this is on you, Ash.”
“I appreciate that, but it is.”
He opens his mouth to say something but swiftly closes it again. After swallowing down his nerves or whatever it is that’s stopping him, he finally says the words that I know are coming.
“We need to talk about Ruby.”
I nod because I knew I wasn’t getting out of this room without her coming up.
“I’m sorry,” I say, shocking the fuck out of him if his lowered chin is anything to go by. “Honestly, I’m not sure I’d have got through the last week without her. She’s a fucking angel.”