“I’ll talk to him when he’s back in town.”
“Rather you than me, Ruby,” Mom jokes. “Are you sure you don’t want any dinner?”
“No thank you, I ate at Aces with the squad and Poppy.”
“Okay.” She squeezes my knee before standing up and walking to the door. “Ruby,” she says once she has the door open.
“Yeah.”
“Life’s short. Leanora has just taught us that. Don’t waste it.”
“I’ll do my best. Love you, Mom.”
“Love you too, sweetie. I’ll leave you to your homework.”
“Thank you.” She closes the door and I look down at my chemistry assignment that’s still spread out across my bed where I left it before I walked out earlier.
An idea pops into my head and before I have a chance to convince myself it’s a disaster waiting to happen, I gather everything up and tuck it under my arm. Maybe having some help won’t be so bad. We might even get it done quicker.
There’s a slight tremor to my hand as I lift it to knock, but I don’t let it stop me.
“Yeah,” he barks, sending the butterflies in my stomach into hysterics.
I blow out a slow breath before reaching for the handle and pushing the door open.
I’m pretty sure the last person he was expecting it to be is me because he doesn’t even look up from his notebook.
“What is it? I’m busy.”
I stare at him hunched over. He’s wearing a white t-shirt, the fabric stretched over his wide, muscular shoulders and a pair of black sweatpants. His feet are bare and his hair is still wet from a shower.
“I... um...” I stutter, now I’m here I have no idea what to say.
“Shit,” he breathes, so quietly I’m sure I’m not meant to hear it. “Hey.” He looks up at me and although his eyes are softer than I’ve seen many times before there is still an edge to them and despite the fact his lips curl into a smile, I can see the tension within it.
I get it. I walked out on him earlier when he was trying to tell me something. But as he stood there trying to defend himself all I could see was him grinding up against Nat in that basement and then him with Krissy. If he wants to convince me that what he was saying was true, then he’s going to need to rid those images from my head and replace them with something else.
“Hey.” I smile at him and I hate that I must appear nervous as I lean back against his doorframe, afraid to step inside and be alone in a room with him. I remember Seattle and the time we spent together in his apartment all too well, the memories already has heat surging through my veins. “Did you... um...”
He rests back on his headboard as I stumble over my words, his eyes running the length of my body and setting my skin on fire. I might be wearing a hoodie and a pair of yoga pants now but I may as well be naked from the way he’s looking at me.
“Did you send the flowers?”
His lips twitch and his eyes fly up to meet mine. I swear to God a bit of color hits his cheeks at my question and it makes the pull I feel toward him even stronger. This vicious bad boy is blushing.
“Yeah, little one. I did. Wanted you to have something nice to come home to. You deserved it.”
“Ash, that’s...” I shake my head, my words escaping me. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Are you just going to stand there, or did you want to come in?”
“Err...” I suck my bottom lip into my mouth as I consider my options.
“I don’t bite. Well, not unless you want me to.” He winks and I groan.
“Ash, don’t, or I’ll...” I gesture over my shoulder to leave, although I already know that I’m probably not capable of walking away right now.
“I’m sorry. What have you got there?” he asks, nodding at the books I have under my arm.
“Chemistry,” I say, holding up the books to prove that’s what it is and feeling stupid for it. “Thought that maybe we could...”
“I haven’t started it yet. Come sit and I’ll find my books.”
Sucking in a deep breath, I nod and slowly close the door behind me.
I look around the room, wondering where I should sit. My eyes land on his empty desk and chair and I’m just about to head over to keep as much space between us as possible when a box on the other side of his bed catches my eye. I look up at what he was reading when I came in and find it’s not homework at all.
“What’s all this?” I ask, unable to keep my nose out of his business.
“Mom’s journals. I found them in her room when Willow and I sorted it.” He studies me as he says her name, I guess waiting for some kind of reaction that he spent time alone with a girl. But I already know she helped him, she told me herself. We’ve been in touch since I left, we’ve messaged most days. Having seen Ash at his lowest, she understands what I—we—are going through in a way that Harley and Poppy don’t. Plus, she knows him, so that helps. Well, until it doesn’t, and she starts telling me just how sweet and thoughtful he really is, even though he won’t ever admit it.
“Oh wow. You’ve been reading them?” It’s a stupid question seeing as he was sitting here doing just that only minutes ago but the question falls from my lips anyway.
“Yeah, I’m learning all sorts of things about her that I didn’t know.”
“Oh yeah, like what?”
“Like this.” My movement toward his desk is halted when he holds a piece of paper out for me, forcing me to walk toward his bed so I can take it and see what it is.
“What... oh,” I breathe, seeing a bank statement with quite an impressive figure at the bottom of it.
“Turns out I was wrong about a lot of things.”
“Oh?”
“Dad was sending money, a lot of it. Mom was just putting it away. We were going to move here after I graduated, apparently. Well, to Maddison. She wanted me to be close to my dad, get a fresh start.”
“Wow,” I breathe, not really sure what to say. “W-would you have let her uproot your life like that?” I ask, thinking of the life he had in Seattle, it might not have been ideal, but it was his life, nonetheless.
“I don’t know. I’ve wondered that a lot the past few days, but I don’t think I have the answer. Not that it really matters now. I’m here.”
“I guess. What are you going to do with this?” I ask, handing the paper back to him.
“Use it for college, I guess. It’s what she wanted for me, so I may as well see it through.”
“You want to go to college?” I sit down on the edge of his bed, now too invested in this conversation to worry about our proximity.
“Yeah, I guess. It was never really an option before, so I just dismissed it. But now... Dad’s right. This is a second chance. Going back and having to redo the year sucks but in the long run, it’s probably for the best. I know I didn’t have a future in Seattle. If I stuck with the boys, then I’d have ended up dragged farther into their world, or I’d have ended up dead.”
My fingers tighten in his sheets as he says those final words, a move he doesn’t miss.
His eyes lock on my hand for a second before it trails up my arm until he finds my eyes. I swallow nervously, waiting to see what he’s going to say next.