‘Well, I’m not going to,’ I reply firmly.
‘What is it that you want? Are you trying to ruin my life?’ she wails. Why is she so desperate to be rid of me anyway? She should just be grateful for the opportunity to talk to the most beautiful man within a hundred mile radius.
‘Hey, it’s nothing personal, Sara.’
‘Doctor Doria,’ she corrects me.
‘Well, if you like role-playing games…’
‘Mr. Pagani!’
‘Wow, you’re so formal! Anyway, doctor, like I said, it’s nothing personal, I don’t want to give anyone a hard time, I just want to graduate and get back to my old life.’
‘You mean being a playboy twenty-four hours a day?’
‘Pretty much, yes. But there’s a problem …’
‘And what might that be?’ she asks condescendingly.
‘Well… my father cut off my allowance. He wants me to make something of my life, so he’s decided to send me back to university.’
Why am I telling her all this? I’m supposed to be letting her know the plan, not pouring my heart out.
This woman has a detrimental effect on my ability to reason. I expect her lack of sex appeal is melting my brain cells or something.
‘I don’t give a crap about your family troubles. Your father is right, although he should have done it years ago. Your brain is all clogged up by stupidity at this point, and I’m certainly not going to be the one to descale it!’
‘I’m not asking you to fill my head with science,’ I explain. ‘Just let me pass the exam.’
‘Are you trying to bribe me? You do know I could report this?’
I wag a warning finger at her. ‘I don’t think you want to do that, doctor hot lips.’
The joke hits the mark, because she whitens visibly and shudders at the memory of when she kissed me at the wedding.
‘That was just a stupid bet! And you weren’t my student, then,’ she says defensively, but I can hear a tremor in her voice. The stakes must be high.
‘But I am now. People don’t care about details! It would be juicy gossip… “university professor propositions student in exchange for grades…” because that’s how I’d tell it, just watch! And you know everyone would believe me, too. I can do a really convincing innocent face. Here, I’ll show you.’
Faced with my perfectly constructed angelic look, all her composure flies out of the window, and I can see her getting more and more furious. The feeling of power is almost erotic, I must admit. Even if she and eroticism are polar opposites.
‘You’re an arsehole!’ she exclaims loudly. Some passers-by in the corridor turn around, shocked.
‘I know. And I’m smart too. And just so you know… doesn’t my surname remind you of anything?
She seems to think about it, but the light bulb doesn’t come on.
‘Pagani Productions?’ I suggest, and the penny drops.
‘Don’t tell me you’re…’
‘… Massimo Pagani’s son. Do you know the production studio? Do you know how big our turnover is? It’s huge, just like my…’
‘Yes, yes, I’m familiar with the company, thank you. The university does apprenticeship courses there. I’ve never been, but I know of them.’
‘Well then, now you know why you shouldn’t make an enemy of me.’
‘Mr Pagani, what you’re suggesting is fraud, and it’s a serious crime,’ she reminds me.
Ok. I’m about to do something that repels me, but if you have a talent, you should exploit it, right?
I take her by the hand and lead her into an empty classroom, pulling her close to me.
‘Perhaps we could come to another type of agreement?’ I suggest. ‘What if my accusations… weren’t just accusations. At least we’d have some fun, don’t you think?’
I must have an iron stomach to even think about what I’m about to do, but desperate times call for desperate measures.
She looks up at me. I still wish she didn’t wear glasses, and… wait… is that a smile I see? I knew it! No one can resist my charms. To emphasise the point I move my hips slightly against her. I’m not excited, but my member is remarkable even at rest. She’s capitulating, I feel it. Of course, if I have to show her my talents, it will be necessary to scrape together quite a bit of courage, but to pass the exam it will have been worth it.
‘What do you have in mind?’ she asks, lowering her voice. When she isn’t shrieking like a crow, I have to admit that she has a warm and velvety voice. One knee rubs against my leg and, for pity’s sake, something below my waist moves! What is this novelty? She is not the type to get me hard, even in her wildest dreams!
‘Well, I…’ I begin, stunned by the treachery of my body. ‘I thought I could introduce you to my depraved world.’
‘Interesting. So you like deviant things? ‘
‘I like to experiment…’
She seems to think about it, as she runs a finger over my forearm, tracing it all the way up to touch my earlobe. Fuck! She has a light touch and knows almost like magic where I’m most sensitive. I feel my groin pounding and I’m really starting to worry.
‘I like to try new games too, Teo. I’m a world champion at kneeball.’
Kneeball?
The blow lands with swift and cruel accuracy. It takes my breath away, and I see stars and little cartoon birds. I crumple to the floor in agony, while a stream of curses, mixed in with appeals to God, pour from my mouth.
‘Don’t fuck with me, Teo Pagani,’ she warns, one hand on the door handle. ‘You’re no one in here, and you do not want to make me angry. You want to take the exam? Have a seat. But you will have to follow the course and study just like everyone else. I don’t give discounts. And it’s no use whatsoever using your flaccid attributes in an attempt to corrupt me. I’m not interested.’
Still gasping, I raise my head to glare at her in defiance.
‘I don’t think you know who you’re dealing with.’
‘Oh, I know exactly what you are! And if you don’t want me to go straight to your father and tell him what you tried to do, you will be a good little student. Get ready for your own private hell, playboy worm!’
With that, she slams the door behind her, leaving me aching on the floor trying to think of ways to make her pay.
Because I will avenge myself, oh yes! If you want a war, Doctor Doria, you’ve got one.
10
Sara
I explode back into the classroom like a force of nature. I must have a truly terrifying look on my face, because the students flinch when I turn around to face them. Eleonora puts her hand on her heart, frightened, perhaps, by the noise I make furiously reorganising papers and notes.
That moron! The misogynist! The arrogant bastard! Does he think I will just give in to anyone with a pair of well-defined biceps? That he can bribe me with the promise of cosmic orgasms?
Though god knows, I actually would like an orgasm right now. How long has it been? Months? Years? Centuries? I need to cool down, before I go back to the empty classroom and stab him with the scissors.
I take the microphone firmly and look at the audience. I get the feeling someone is doing the devil horn gesture to ward off bad luck, but I can’t be sure. I take a couple of deep breaths. I can’t present myself as a monster to these kids, or they’ll all run away and never come back.