I pull away quickly – so quickly that Teo loses his balance and almost ends up flat on his face, at risk of ruining his beautiful nose.
‘Sorry, I can’t keep the professor waiting,’ I apologise, although I suppose it might seem from my tone that I enjoy seeing him on his knees and bewildered.
Teo’s eyes are blurred with surprise and a hint of… excitement? I don’t even believe it if I have it in front of me: he is pretending to get an advantage, but if he thinks he can make a fool of me he’s mistaken.
‘Next time bring some mints with you,’ I say mockingly. Then I leave abruptly, but not fast enough to avoid hearing his comment.
‘Viper!’
I turn around, as I cross the threshold. ‘I know,’ I whisper, winking at him. Where all this spirit I suddenly seem to have is coming from I don’t know. Hell, I’ve always been strong and independent, but with Teo I have truly achieved superbitch status.
When I arrive back in the room, the professor greets me with a relieved sigh.
‘Where have you been? I was talking to Dr. Portinari and when I turned around to introduce you, you were nowhere to be seen!’
‘Professor, I…’
‘Do you feel well? You seem a little red in the face.’
His observation brings everything back into focus. I quickly check my dress to make sure all my buttons are in the right place.
‘I’m fine. I’m just excited.’
What a ridiculous excuse! But he seems to believe me, because he smiles at me and squeezes my shoulders slightly. The butterflies that I thought would fly around like crazy in my stomach seem to have gone to sleep. Strange evening, even stranger mood. Perhaps the stress is getting the better of me.
‘It’s nothing to worry about. Dr. Portinari is very interested in your… er… in my article. It would be really helpful if you can discuss some questions with him. Now where is he hiding? I seem to be losing sight of everyone this evening.’
‘About that, professor…’
‘Ah, Professor Costa, here we are again. Is this the brilliant scholar you were telling me about?’ A plump and jovial man interrupts us.
The professor takes my hand and intertwines his fingers with mine. An unexpectedly intimate gesture that surprises me, but not in the way that I would have liked. I feel my ears burning and I bet that someone is watching and is furious with me.
Go to hell! I will not be a plaything to feed his ego. He certainly doesn’t need me, and I don’t need him. The professor on the other hand, does. I am fundamental to him, that’s why he gives me all the most important and complex tasks.
Like writing his articles for him.
Still holding tightly to my hand, he nods to the man and pushes me forward.
‘Dr. Portinari, let me thank you again for your interest in my research. My job often remains on the sidelines because it is aimed at a rather select audience, but I think it is still fundamental to understand the importance of the meaning we give to words. But since I’m not one to brag about my work, I’d like Dr. Sara Doria to tell you about it instead.’
‘Hello, doctor,’ Portinari greets me with a broad smile. ‘I’m genuinely curious to hear how you find work with a scholar of this calibre.’
Meanwhile, a small crowd has gathered around us. They seem interested in what I’m about to say.
Ok, time to go on stage.
I approach Portinari and hold out my hand. I have to raise my head a little to meet his eyes. I hear a bitter laugh and I already know who it comes from: I’m sure he enjoys nothing better than seeing me look silly because of my height. I ignore him, breathe deeply and answer the editor’s smile.
‘Good evening, Dr. Portinari. Indeed work with Professor Costa is an rewarding experience. He is an extremely scrupulous scholar and I believe that his work to be fundamental. It is difficult to find a more conscientious person and the article… he is writing is the proof.’
A low murmur tells me I am on the right track. But I also hear a cough. Can a cough have a sarcastic tone? I would have said not, but it seems I was wrong.
‘Studying signs, as they are produced and interpreted, is not easy, but… the professor has done an excellent job on this article, in particular …’
‘Tell me, Dr. Doria, could you explain to me how you would interpret the expression “arse face”?’
A subdued laugh, mixed with indignant grumbling, sounds from the back of the room. No mystery about who asked this stupid question: only an arse face would ask a question about an arse face. I have to ignore him.
‘That question is not relevant. We were saying, I… uh… the professor’s research …’
‘Come on, doctor, let’s make the evening a bit more interesting. Explain to us the meaning of ‘arse face’ … Or should we get the professor to explain it to us?’
‘Unheard of!’ exclaims an elderly guest. The Professor, meanwhile, is white as a sheet.
He is trying to destroy me, there’s no other explanation.
The problem is that I can’t kill him with a carefully-aimed shoe because I don’t think etiquette would allow it.
‘I would say that the meaning, in this case, is perfectly suited to the author of the question.’
Absolute silence. Teo’s smiles at me mockingly.
‘Are you saying I’m an arse face?’
You can wipe that smile of your face, I threaten him silently with a look. ‘I see that my explanation has served a purpose, Mr. Pagani.’
‘You certainly know how to use that mouth, Dr. Doria.’
There is a ripple of laughter, and, oddly, some applause. The crowd gathered around us look from me to Teo as if we were two cabaret actors.
The professor coughs, embarrassed.
‘Splendid, shall we go to the table?’ he suggests, with a look that implies he does not want a reply. And suddenly I realise the colossal fool I made of myself in front of all these people. Goodbye dignity. Goodbye professor. Goodbye teacher’s desk.
My suspicions prove immediately to be justified, because my companion pulls me by the elbow and leads me to a secluded corner.
‘Doctor, you can give me an explanation for the grotesque scene I have just witnessed?’
I cringe because yes, I let myself get carried away and sunk down to the same level as that boor and there’s nothing I can do but apologise. Me. Apologise. The only thing that makes my tongue dry up.
‘I couldn’t let him ridicule me. I had to do something!’
‘Too bad it didn’t help. Your words made you as ridiculous as his. Didn’t you hear the laughter? We are the laughingstock of the entire hall,’ he replies, losing his usual composure. ‘Who knows what this will do to my reputation?’
I open my mouth to beg him and lose my last remaining shred of dignity, but a commotion behind me interrupts us.
‘Now you will do as I say, or I really will disinherit you!’ I hear a voice exclaim.
Turning around, I see Teo being dragged along by a man as tall as he is, but older: if it weren’t for the white hair he would be his spitting image. Teo advances in jerks, half dismayed and half cocky as always.
‘Professor Costa, you must forgive my son,’ the man begins, approaching us. ‘There is no excuse for how he behaved, I can only say that I will assume full responsibility. Tell me how I can repay you. I’m truly mortified.’