‘Look how slight they are, Teo,’ I whisper. My eyes are glued to the stage, but I still feel him watching me. I feel the warmth of his skin. Quietly, he moves closer to me, and the scent of his cologne grows more intense. We stay like that, in silence, until the orchestra plays the last note.
‘Tell me what happens in the waltz of flowers. You looked hypnotized,’ Teo asks me when the lights come back on. The time has flown by and I’m still a little dazed. I nod and the words come out almost without my being aware of it.
‘Clara is in the Land of Sweets with the Nutcracker prince. The whole court is performing for them. “The Waltz of the Flowers” is one of Tchaikovsky’s most famous pieces. Did you see how delicate the dancer’s skirts were? They looked like they were made of air!’
The hand that held me close for most of it the show comes alive and envelops my fingers. For the first time I don’t feel the need to remove it. Teo’s breath tickles my ear.
‘Did you ever think about dancing?’ He asks. There’s no irony in his voice, it is genuine curiosity.
‘I used to, once,’ I confess. Why am I telling him this? What can it matter to someone like him what I did in the past?
‘And then?’
I smile, sadly, watching the empty stage. ‘I was little, I wasn’t good enough. Too short, too chubby. Well, you understand, right?’
‘No, I don’t understand.’
I bite my lip. ‘The teacher told my mother that I couldn’t play Clara in the exam. I didn’t have the right physique.’
‘What a total bitch!’ Teo rages, and I smile at him.
‘She was only doing her job. Anyway, she was right, don’t you think? I certainly don’t look like one of those girls.’
‘And then?’
‘I was offended and left the dance school. If I couldn’t play the main character, I wouldn’t have stayed at the back.’
Teo remains silent for a few seconds. ‘You had balls from an early age,’ he says and, strangely, I hear a hint of admiration in his voice.
We have nothing more to say to each other, but we remain still for a while longer: Me with my eyes fixed on the stage and he with his eyes fixed on me, a few inches apart, our hands clasped and breathing slightly accelerated. I have no idea if he’s plotting something or not, but I am all too aware of the fragrance that emanates from him and that is overwhelming me to such an extent that I crave silence and solitude.
‘Shall we go to the dressing rooms?’ Teo invites me, his eyes shining like those of a child preparing to dispense Christmas presents.
‘You look more enthusiastic than I am,’ I observe.
‘I’ve discovered that I like the feeling I get when I steal a smile.’
I shake my head. ‘All this sweet-talk really doesn’t suit you. But thanks, anyway. Even if your goals were not noble, it’s been a nice evening. An evening that ends here, I’m afraid. I’m exhausted.’
‘No dressing rooms, then?’
I shake my head. ‘I am tired and hungry. I just want to go home and demolish a stuffed brioche. It won’t be an elegant dinner, but I need a good dose of sugar.’
‘I’ll come with you, then.’
‘That’s not necessary, I can call a taxi.’
As we leave the theatre, a gust of cold air hits me. I should have worn a jacket.
‘Are you cold?’
The question, the way it hangs on his lips, touches me in an unexpected way.
‘No,’ I lie.
‘Liar,’ says Teo, taking off his jacket.
‘That’s really not necessary,’ I say quickly. It’s too intimate, it embarrasses me.
‘Don’t be silly, what sort of knight would I be, otherwise?’
Ignoring all my protests, he places his jacket over my shoulders. I have to admit that the warmth mixed with that perfume gets under my skin immediately, wrapping me in an intangible bubble.
‘Thanks,’ I manage to stutter.
‘The Amazon has laid down her arms.’
‘Come again?’
‘The Amazon. Come to think of it, you are like an Amazon. Fierce, strong, independent. You don’t need a man to complete you.’
The analogy amazes and flatters me, but I can’t reply. Maybe I have laid down my arms. Am I losing perspective?
‘Do you want to finish the evening with a crazy show?,’ he says suddenly.
‘We’ve just seen a show,’ I point out, not understanding what he means.
‘This is different. What do you say? Would you like to come on a blind date?’
I waver. In front of me stands Teo, the least reliable man in the universe.
‘I’ll get you a massive brioche,’ he insists and really, who can resist pastries?
‘White chocolate,’ I say sternly, hugging the comforting fabric close around my shoulders.
‘Deal,’ he agrees, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear and causing me a treacherous shiver.
‘Deal,’ I echo, full of doubts, but wanting to know what adventure he will drag me on next, this man of a thousand surprises.
17
Teo
‘Do you want to tell me where we’re going?’
The Saturday night traffic is truly terrible, especially on the road that leads to the Capodimonte hill.
She has no idea what my intentions are and that’s fine by me. If this doesn’t surprise her, I don’t know what will.
‘A surprise is a surprise,’ I reply, mysteriously.
‘Is it that you’re going to take me to a dark place, tear me to pieces and throw me off a cliff?’
‘You watch too many murder mysteries.’
‘And you’re a dick!’
‘I’m using every trick in the book to win you over.’
I say it jokingly, but she has no idea how serious I am. I’m genuinely pulling out every trick I know to make her fall at my feet. I have never known such a hard nut to crack. You wouldn’t expect it, either, from someone with all the appeal of a fruit basket. In fact there are probably more interesting fruit baskets, from an aesthetic point of view.
And yet…
And yet, she may well be mousy, bespectacled and unremarkable, but I hardly noticed it tonight. There were times when it seemed to me that she wasn’t wearing glasses, wasn’t too short or unattractive.
When she was talking about the ballet, all I wanted to do was to listen. To understand her. To know her. Perhaps it’s a kind of survival instinct. Since I normally wouldn’t sleep with her, I’m trying to find her at least passable. That, or I’ve completely lost my mind. How long is it since I’ve been out on the pull?
I realise with horror that my sexual activity has been interrupted for almost ten days! My friend down there might stop working unless I remedy this as soon as possible!
‘Remember you promised me a brioche,’ she reminds me. Once a teacher, always a teacher.
‘Your brioche is waiting for us at our destination.’
‘Which is?’
I shake my head. ‘Wait and see.’
I hear her snort and curl up on the seat. Looking at her out of the corner of my eye, I notice she has had to roll up the sleeves of my jacket so that her hands can reach through the other side.