I neared the glass entry doors but retracted my hand as I saw someone exiting. The door swung open, and into the morning light emerged, of all people, Hollis Fleming.
“Oh, hey there, Harley.”
“Good morning, Hollis. Did they take care of you in there?”
“Yeah, you bet. I was just dropping off a deposit. How’ve you been? Andy mentioned something about you and Eleanor raising Cain at the fair the other night?”
I shook my head, smiling coyly and adjusting the handles of my purse at my elbow. “Per usual, Andy is being a bit over-dramatic. Elle and I… well, we were enjoying ourselves, playing the stupid carnival games, and maybe having one or two adult beverages. We had a blast, but there were these kids - these annoying teenagers - that were just being way too loud and raunchy. We were polite at first, asking them to tone it down for all the younger kids and families around, but they decided to act all rebellious and just started throwing their trash around and cursing… one of them gave Elle the bird… you know, just teens being dumb. She never said why Andy didn’t come. You should’ve joined us, too!”
A look of sadness flashed over Hollis’s face, dampening his handsome smile. Once he started to explain, I imagine my expression did the exact same.
“Yeah… We would’ve loved to, but… Mom got checked into the hospital again. She caught some sort of bug, and the chemo has just left her with no immune system to fight it off.”
My cheeks burned with a flush of embarrassment. I felt terrible for acting so jovially before, but there was only one way I could’ve known. “Oh, I’m so sorry, Hollis. I don’t know why Eleanor didn’t tell me. She should have.”
“She probably didn’t know. We didn’t really have much of an idea what was going on at the time, and Andy likely didn’t want to say anything until he knew more. Dad took her in for radiation and, since Mom is always feeling like shit, she didn’t even realize she was coming down with something. It wasn’t until they took her temp and vitals before the treatment that they figured it out.”
I shook my head in sympathy, trying to fathom how hard that must’ve been. “I’m sorry, Hollis. Do they have any idea how long it’ll take to help get her better? How’s your dad handling it? I know it must be so difficult to see your mom this way.”
Hollis nodded, finally letting go of the bank door he was holding open. He crossed his big arms and assumed a serious look as he contemplated the questions.
“Well, you know, Dad. He’s a tough son-of-a-bitch, but when they said that they wanted to admit her, it really got under his skin.” Hollis chuckled dryly as he recalled something to add. “He’s been camping out in the hospital room with my mom since they won’t let him come back without full blood work, showing he doesn’t have anything contagious that might be passed to Mom. So, naturally, Dad has been driving the nurses and doctors up the wall. They even moved the patient next door so that he could sleep in there. At least that way, they’ll have a few hours treating my mom without him hovering and questioning their every move.”
I smiled, easily seeing the situation play out in my mind. “I bet the hospital staff already have a secret code to warn each other when he’s on the warpath. If they haven’t started yet, it’s only a matter of time before you hear a page over the loud-speakers for a Rob-Alert or a Code-Rob.”
My smile waned as I felt my joke fall flat against even my own sense of humor. Hollis didn’t seem bothered by it at all and, although he didn’t laugh much beyond a short snicker, I could tell my familiarity with their family wasn’t far from the truth.
“You aren’t wrong, Harley. Anyway, I only left to take a breather and run some errands. Andy is passed out at home. I’m about to do the same. We’ll be heading back tonight with some food for Dad. Hopefully, by then, the doctors will have some better news.”
“Is there anything I can do? I don’t want to be in the way, but I can come visit with your mom and keep Rob company.”
She can tell that the sentiment is appreciated, but Hollis shakes his head all the same. “No, you don’t have to do that, Harley. Mom is mostly sleeping. The last time she was awake enough to speak, she mistakenly told the nurse administering meds that her name was ‘Janice,’ not ‘Janine.’ Thank you for offering. It really means a lot, and I’ll be sure to tell Dad that you were thinking of them. That’ll brighten his spirits. You know he sees you as the daughter he never had - Mom, too. You’re one of the family, whether or not Ryan was too stupid to realize it.”
At the mention of his name again, my insides twisted with a wide range of emotions into a gnarled knot. I forced a small smile, trying to hide the mixture of feelings.
With a few more parting pleasantries, Hollis departed, and I entered into the bank lobby.
My team of tellers, associates, and managers each offered warm welcomes, but my reciprocating responses were altogether tempered by the news of Janine’s downturn and my newly solemn mood.
I mustered as much of a gentle greeting as I could manage but otherwise indifferently maneuvered to my office and closed the bank manager’s door behind me.
Not wanting to further draw attention to my mental isolation by drawing the blinds between myself and my coworkers, I morosely discarded my purse atop the desk, slumped in my leather office chair, and swiveled away from any prodding faces.
Staring between the slats of the exterior window shades, I allowed my thoughts to manifest unsubdued. My childhood memories of Janine, beautiful, with brilliant golden hair and capable of instantly conveying serenity to anyone in her presence, were replaced by the years’ more recent changes.
I recalled the feeling of hopelessness she and I both shared as tendrils of her gorgeous hair started falling out in handfuls and clumps. The momentary joy we all felt after her first bout with cancer ended in remission flashed through my mind with images of the beach-themed luau we threw for her in celebration.
I remembered the moment she and I were having brunch after the oncologist gravely informed them that the disease was back and worse than ever. She was in optimistic spirits as me and Elle anesthetized the first return to treatment with mimosas and a myriad of midday soufflés. However, I could still feel the promise of a second recovery vanish as Janine held her thin fingers up to her lips, looking confused, and opened her hand to reveal a full-size tooth, fallen out without any force, a victim from the chemotherapy’s harsh side effects.
Staring at the sunlight shining outside my office windows, I tried to shake the memories from my mind as the tears started to stream down my cheeks. The complex sea of emotions was only made more complicated by renewed thoughts of Ryan. Was he there? At the hospital? If he was, what did he look like?
Without meaning to, I imagined him sitting there, beside the hospital bed, with his mother’s venous-catheter-taped handheld warmly within his. I could see the sadness in his bright blue eyes, and I could almost feel his forlorn frown, veiled beneath the black hair of his close-cropped beard.
A knock at my office door brought my hands to my face, quickly wiping away the tears while sniffling my melancholy into submission. I spun around and, in a rush, fixed an irresolute grin to only juxtapose and magnify my red, swollen eyes.