“Mmm hey there, stranger,” she growls into my ear with a grin.
Abby slides into the booth next to me.
“I heard to the news. Congrats,” Jake tells her.
“Thanks. It was a surprise and a long time waiting, but I think it’s cool.” She looks at me with a smile that tells me she’s struggling. “I mean, not the going far away part.”
My arms find their way around her to pull her close, because we both hate that fact.
“I can imagine,” Jake says as he looks between Abby and me. “Well, I think I am going to leave you two love birds alone. I have a few depositions to work through this weekend.”
I grin at him. “Of course, Jake Sutton works seven days a week.”
Jake stands up and shakes his head at me. “Hey, least it gets me the house and car I want,” he counters, and I wave him off.
Abby turns her body to me and rests her hand on my thigh. We take a few moments to stare at each other.
“How is planning going?”
“Okay. I meet with a few candidates next week for who can fill in for me at the clinic while I’m away. I guess this can all work, I mean heading off for a year.”
My look remains neutral. In that moment, I look at her and I feel a lump in my throat. I want to internally punch myself because maybe I made this too easy for her to decide.
“What if I said I don’t want you to go?” It zooms out of my mouth and I only realize my words after they’re out.
Abby looks at me and her lips part as if she’s going to speak, but instead she blinks a few times and straightens her posture.
“Lucas, you said—”
“I know what I said, but what if I was wrong. What if long-distance isn’t for us?” My words flow out, and while my first thought is that Jake planted a seed in my head, I know the thoughts were already buried in me.
“Lucas, I… I don’t know if it’s for us. But I’m willing to try.” Her voice cracks a little, and I wonder if she feels her heart sinking like my own.
My hands dive into her hair to hold her head in place so our eyes settle on one another. “I don’t want to lose this,” I say softly.
“I don’t either. But don’t you want to try?” She quivers.
“I do want to try, but I also want to hear that you hate the idea of us being apart.”
“I do hate the idea. But it’s the reality if I do this,” she replies.
In that moment, we both sit there and look at each other.
Her mouth comes to drag along my cheek and the corners of my mouth. “Lucas,” she whispers. “Tell me you will wait for me,” she pleads softly.
“I’ll wait, but Abby, it’s hard.” For some reason, I decide I need air and slide out of the booth to head outside with Abby in tow.
When we get outside to the terrace, the early summer breeze hits us with much-needed relief to perhaps cool down our emotions.
Abby grabs my arm. “Speak to me, Lucas, what’s in your head?”
I turn to her, and I can’t figure out where the surge in me comes from, but I know something is boiling.
“Abby, I want to be so damn selfish. I want to hear that you couldn’t possibly consider being away from me. Screw video calls and perhaps a visit here or there. You and I are going to be apart for a year. I think I waited a long time to have something great, and now that I have it, you have it too. You are putting a pause on it… on us.” I’m normally a collected guy, but right now I may seem like I’m losing my cool.
She looks taken aback and parts her lips. But after a few beats, her hands find her hips and she breathes in a deep inhalation. She lets loose. “Lucas, I am not putting a pause on us and that isn’t fair. And if this is the way you always felt then why the hell did you tell me to go? You don’t always need to be the good guy. I would much rather hear the truth than have you pretend to feel or think something you don’t,” she snipes and almost growls. I’ve never seen her this feisty.
“I think I am being very real right now,” I challenge with a blank look as I lean against the railing of the terrace.
The air is thick between us as we both stare at each other with heaving chests.
“You know what? I need to get out of here. You and I never fight, but congratulations, you just ruined that record.” Abby pivots around and begins to walk away.
“Abby,” I call out as my hand finds my forehead to rub, but she is already on a steady stride forward and out of Matchbox.
The next day, I pace my kitchen with coffee in hand. Yesterday was not one of my finer days or hours. My rating for communication was downgraded, and even I know that Abby has a right to be pissed. I should have conveyed my real sentiments from the get-go, but I just don’t want to be that guy. I don’t want her to crush her dreams for me, but I don’t want her away either.
But wait a second.
Just wait a second.
It’s Abby.
She isn’t just some woman to try long-distance with. She is the one I love. The one that makes me laugh. The only one who I want in my bed. And I mean, the sex when you do see each other in a long-distance relationship must be off the charts. That is something to get excited about, right?
And I’ve heard good things about Alaska. It would be a great place to take Theo.
It’s not like we have to send letters by mail—there have been modern advancements that mean we can still talk every day.
Didn’t someone say absence makes the heart grow fonder? That’s a plus, right?
Fuck, I really needed to weigh the pros and cons more before my filter broke and I spoke yesterday.
I’ve told her my concerns, but now I need to re-assure her that we will be okay. We will be okay.
Setting my coffee down, I quickly grab my keys and head to my car. Turning on my car, I throw on a good song and I pull out of the driveway. I consider where to stop by to collect some flowers for her as I need to throw on the charm and apologize. She deserves that.
Driving along the road, I sing to myself. A little “To Be With You” by Mr. Big is just one of those numbers that you need to belt out.
The morning is a little gray, but the roads are clear. It’ll probably rain later. Riding along the winding road, the nature around this place is spectacular.
Looking ahead, I barely have time to gasp. I quickly swerve to avoid the big blur in front of me. The screeching of tires becomes overbearing in my ear just before I crash into something else. I have no idea what the hell just happened, because suddenly I see shards of glass and I feel achy.
And as a doctor, I know that if you feel blood running down your skin… that it is not a good sign.
Chapter Twenty
Abby
It’s Monday and I feel numb. Arguing with Lucas is something that I hope is never repeated. I want to cry and scream all at the same time. But he has a right to feel the way he does. And to be honest, I was already feeling the same. Being apart for a year is hard work.
Walking into the exam room, I see a concerned middle-aged Ms. Beasley in her yoga pants looking at her beagle Luna. Then my eyes draw a line to the corner where I see middle-aged Mr. Smith with his cowboy look and hardened face as he holds his collie mix on a leash. My brow arches at this scene. I’m slightly confused, but then it all unravels.