“Okay, Maris. Look at it from his point of view. The man who crashed into you trapped you at your bar as if he owned it. You called the cops after Nick stepped in to deal with the situation. Nick’s supposed to be your love, the man you turn to. On top of which, he’s a fighter. He’s overprotective of you. So’s Brad for that matter. They had no idea you had things under control.”
But what about when he’s no longer there? The niggling thought presses in. I shove it aside. Nick hasn’t said a single word about leaving, giving me more and more hope every single day he plans on making this work between us.
Still, I reach through my shirt and clutch the cross Jed left. I’m searching for that kernel of faith. “It was late when you got home. Maybe he and Brad tied one on.” But that was then.
This is now.
Now, we’re going to fix this because he needs to understand I’ve run this bar for years without his intervention. Carter could have shown up at any time. I am a capable woman, completely able to do what I did—which was contacting the police.
But there’s no escaping the fact he didn’t speak to me before leaving. That was a personal cut.
Pulling into the gym, I notice it’s only his car here. I barely spare a thought for where Reece and Oliver are.
I turn off my SUV, drop my keys in my pocket. I fling open the door to find Nick alone working on the heavy bag. His head swivels to the side. His face is blank.
Ding, ding, ding. Let the fight begin.
I stalk toward him. “Not even a phone call.”
“Rainey said she would let you know I was okay.” Nick begins to punch the bag again.
“It is not Rainey’s job to let me know how you are, Nick. It’s yours.”
His muttered “Sorry” sounds like a kid who got caught eating one too many Oreos.
“You know what? If you don’t want to have an honest conversation, then I’ll leave. See you around.” I turn and start to walk away.
A large boom makes me jump. I whirl around to find Nick using his foot to steady the bag. “You want to talk? Then fine. We’ll talk. What in the hell were you thinking?” The last is said at such a volume, it seems to echo off the rafters.
“What was I thinking? Maybe you’ve forgotten, but I’d called the cops, Nick.”
“And what were they going to do?”
“What they’ve done any number of times.” I shrug.
“Any number of times?” he asks incredulously. “What kind of place are you running, Maris?”
My eyes narrow to fine slits. “A restaurant and bar. Don’t even try to tell me in your vows of purity you’ve never been to one before.”
“This isn’t about me.”
“No, it’s about the fact you can’t believe I can keep my head in an uncomfortable situation. You think this is the worst?” My laugh is ugly, but so are my feelings. “No way.”
“Unbelievable. Why haven’t you ever sold it?”
The question shocks me. “My family legacy, and you want to know why I haven’t up and sold it? Are you crazy? It may be gone if no child I adopt wants it, but that’s the only way ownership shifts out my hands.”
“Don’t you want something else? Something different?”
The look in his eyes combined with his words cause my stomach to flutter. “Like what?”
“Days where you can just be a mom, nights with your family. Warmer weather.” He steps closer and runs a gloved hand down the side of my face. “Just a chance to be.”
“What are you asking me?”
“Come to New Mexico with me.”
“For a visit?” I tread cautiously.
He shakes his head, but a small smile starts to spread. “Come with me, Maris. Let’s get out of this place with the bad memories for both of us.”
“What happened to Reece’s training?”
“He and Oliver went back last week. Once Reece’s grandmother said yes, we made it happen quickly. Reece is already working with other instructors at Razor.”
I rear back. “Excuse me?” More so than his overprotective behavior last night, this is worse. Much worse. “This happened last week?”
Nick opens his mouth, and the only word that comes out is “Shit.”
I try not to hear the desperation in his voice as I shove ineffectively against his chest. “Yesterday, today, I thought this was just about the bar. What’s next? Is it going to be a fight about David? What the hell is this really about? What are we really fighting about?”
“Maris, no. I didn’t mean…”
“Mean to what? Make me question again whether you’re going to be able to live in Alaska?” His muscles bunch beneath my fingers as I finally piece together what he’s been holding back. “You don’t plan on staying,” I whisper.
“I’m can’t. I have a flight booked to leave.” Those soft words from such a strong man make me almost choke on the emotions swirling inside me.
“When?”
“Soon.”
“I asked when, god damnit!”
“In three days.”
I slap my hand to my mouth and push out of his arms. “I can’t do this anymore.”
“What? Us?” There’s panic in his voice.
“After everything you’ve just said, is there an us?”
“This wasn’t how I planned on talking to you about all of this.”
“When did you plan on it? When I came home to find your bags packed by the door?”
A muscle twitches in his jaw. A bitter laugh escapes my lips. “Come on, Nick. Not even you can be offended over a comment like that. You leave in three damn days and you haven’t mentioned it to me yet?”
“There hasn’t been the right time.”
“What? In between slipping your cock inside me you couldn’t find the right moment to say, ‘Hey, baby. It’s been a blast, but time’s up.”
He storms up to me and grips my arms. He yells, “It has never been like that between us. How can you say that?”
“How can I know differently? Is that really the impression you’re leaving me with?” His hands slide from my arms.
“Don’t my words, my actions, count, Maris? I’m not saying this is going to be forever.”
“No, you wouldn’t.” I’m not sure how I manage to speak when I can barely breathe.
“I can’t fucking believe this.” Nick takes his frustration out on the folding chair in front of him. He kicks it and it goes sliding across the floor with a screech.
“So, this is it?” I can barely get the words out.
He’s standing at least five feet from me, hands opening and closing at his side. “I guess it is. Unless you want to come with me.” The ultimatum lies between us, causing a fissure so great I can’t cross it and neither will he.
“To do what, Nick? Sit around your house every day while I wonder about all the people I’m breaking promises to?” My words hold every ounce of my heartbreak.
“And what about the promise you made to me? That you loved me?”
I swipe my fingers under my eye to catch the wetness. “That has never changed, will never change.”