“No.” Even from across the room, the light catches the wetness gathering in Jennings’s eyes. “A family portrait.”
I have to swallow hard before I can respond. “Yeah. That would be perfect.”
I don’t wonder if Maris overheard our conversation. Her face, which was directed at Kara, is glowing at me. Then the little minx twists back to the new mother and declares, “It will look perfect next to my copy of the Mr. and Ms. Smith poster.”
Kara gasps. “I can’t believe you made it! You’re not really going to take it from me, are you?”
Maris shrugs. “Maybe. Maybe I’ll just make a copy.”
Kara makes a sound of frustration that causes the baby to protest. After soothing her daughter, she glares at her best friend. “You never did explain how you got here on time.”
Maris pulls away and saunters over to me before dropping into my lap. “Blame Nick. It’s his fault.”
I choke as I both absorb Maris’s weight and Kara’s ire. But what can I say—it is my fault Maris is here. Then I crush her against me. “It’s part of my charm.”
Kara mutters beneath her breath.
Jennings groans.
Maris rolls her eyes. “Lord deliver me.”
“Listen, I’m holding the ultimate prize. And no one’s going to have the chance to take this one away from me,” I declare arrogantly.
Maris contemplates my words before tossing her head back and laughing. “Damn straight, Champ.” Then she kisses me to prove it.
In the wee hours of the morning, with Maris tucked against my side, I’m loath to disturb the moment of happiness we’ve been granted. But I have to. If it was just us at stake, I’d believe maybe us being on the same path toward our future together was enough to banish the ghosts in her eyes.
But it’s not.
I brush her hair away from her neck and press a kiss against the vein carrying her lifeblood. “I’m in awe by you, Maris.”
Rolling around until she faces me, I marvel at the confusion washing over her face. “What do you mean?”
“Sunshine.” I pause to order my thoughts. “Earlier, when we walked in—”
“You mean when Jennings convinced Security the world was ending and to open my room,” she corrects.
“Pretty much,” I admit. I smooth my hand up and down her back. “You were drifting away.”
Her chin lowers. “I know.”
I hesitate. “Maris…”
“I’m going to give Rainey and Meadow’s aunt a call.” She lifts a determined face back up. “I don’t know if it’s the pressure of adopting, which in turn brings me back to the why. I thought I accepted that, but how could I, Nick? I was barely a woman.”
“And then twice you sacrificed your heart for your best friend.”
Maris waves her hand. “That wasn’t a sacrifice; that was a gift. That was me emotionally connecting to the children I’ve sworn to protect until the day I die.”
“I didn’t think I could love you more until just now.”
Maris kisses my jaw. “But I need to do this for the family I’ll have. They deserve all of my heart. Our hearts,” she amends.
I hug her close before asking, “Now, why Rainey and Meadow’s aunt?”
Maris grins wickedly. And witnessing that smile on her face after entering this room filled with despair earlier fills my blood with fire. And hope. Then Maris reminds me, “Do you recall the stories that used to be told about Aunt Alice in Connecticut?”
And I wheeze like I took a direct hit to the solar plexus. “Crazy Aunt Alice—the shrink who’s every dentist’s dream?” Rumor has it she also maintains items to hurl around her office to relieve stress as well.
And she and Maris are going to speak?
I start chanting the Hail Mary out loud.
Maris chortles until I’m done. Then she leans on my chest, and in the moonlight reflecting off the sea, I see the stars dancing in her eyes.
And in my heart, I know everything’s going to be fine.
Maris
“I’ve been blessed with so much family, I’ll die a rich man. Hopefully, that family will expand many times over before that day will ever come.” - From the journals of Jedidiah Smith.
“I still reserve the right to kick him in the ass,” Rainey declares.
“Rainey,” Kara admonishes her lightly as she rocks her daughter against her.
We’re crowded in Kara’s office which we declared a no-guy/no-kid zone as soon as Meadow and Kody walked through the front door. Jennings, wanting time with his brand-new baby girl, immediately agreed until Kara ferociously declared, “Who pushed her out?” Wisely, he backed off and corralled everyone toward the kitchen.
Now, as I confront the memory wall, I catch Kara and Meadow up on what happened, about my past and my inability to have children, with the whirlwind romance between me and Nick—the good and the bad, and the crushing disappointment that fortuitously led to my fleeing to Florida early.
And ultimately the conclusions I came to about myself.
“I’m not ready.” My eyes lock on the baby Kara’s rocking. There’s still a hunger burning inside me for a child, but I need to grieve the possibility of never having children before I can be a mother to the ones I’ll have. And I will have them. I have no doubt.
“For Nick?” Meadow’s voice is shocked.
“No, for a child. I thought I dealt with all of this long ago, but how could I?”
“Why did you never say anything, Maris? We could have supported you” The deep pain resonating in Rainey’s voice reminds me of what I read about her loss of a child. Meadow reaches over and squeezes her sister’s hand. “There are things we’ve all been through that, while not the same, might have helped.”
Kara hums, but I’m not sure if that’s her agreement or her speaking to her daughter. Either way, I answer as honestly as I can. “Because to admit I needed help meant exposing my heart. And look what happened when I did that?”
“Yet, look at what you gained—what we gained—when each of us did that very thing,” Kara murmurs.
We’re all silent for a few moments before Meadow resolutely declares, “Family.”
“The right members of it,” Rainey agrees.
Kara’s eyes are locked on mine. I’m breathing through my mouth to try to prevent the tears filling my eyes from falling. Then she whispers, “The best kind of family. The kind that loves you for who and what you are. No matter what. The kind you can always come home to.” And I lose that battle.
“You all gave me a gift I never thought to have,” I croak out.
“What’s that?” Kara asks, while she tries to soothe a fussy Deana.
“Sisters. Women who understand me, trust me, believe in me. You are my family, and I will love all of you for the rest of my life.” My declaration sends Rainey and Meadow into each other’s arms. Kara gracefully gets to her feet, carrying my niece.
“Good. It’s about time you understand that your family didn’t end when Jed passed away.”