“You will. Tash is nothing like Rachel. She’s worth fighting for.”
“I know. It feels different this time, Felix. Deeper. More meaningful.”
“Now aren’t you glad I befriended her at Nicky’s that night?”
“Actually, she told me that she saw your message on Instagram earlier that day, and that’s why she was there.”
Felix laughs. “Is that so? Well, I still get to take credit.”
“You can do that. Thanks for being such a great friend, Felix. I hope we can see more of each other in the future.”
“We will. I was thinking of coming up for a few months next year. Maybe rent out my house temporarily or something.”
“That would be awesome.”
“Anyway, I have to go. I’m meeting Ames for dinner.”
“Have fun!”
I hang up, feeling better already. I was such an idiot. And while my heart was in the right place, I still need to use my brain before I open my mouth.
I’m going to make this right.
I check the time. It’s pretty late, and I’m not sure Tash would appreciate me rocking up on her doorstep at 10pm on a weeknight, even if it was to apologise.
I’ll make sure I go there first thing.
I love that woman and I want her to be glad that we’re starting a family together. Because despite how crazy everything is, I wouldn’t want it any other way.
THIRTY-ONE
Tash
I am so disappointed. How could Lincoln think that my career doesn’t matter? Does he just imagine I’m playing around and biding my time until I find a rich husband who can do everything for me?
I’m reminded of when I dated Brad. He used to always act like I was a second-class citizen, and even though I was the one earning the money, his interests always took priority.
I refuse to be in a situation like that ever again. But I worry that with Lincoln signing a recording deal and going on an international tour, I’ll have to fit around him.
I text Millicent. I’m feeling sad. Can you come over?
On my way. Bringing ice cream.
I smile. Millicent is by far the best friend anyone could ever have. Maybe I should buy her an Audi after all.
It’s getting late, and I wonder if she’s going to bring Ryder with her. I feel bad that I just expect her to drop everything at a moment’s notice.
But when she arrives, she’s alone. And thankfully holding a cooler bag that hopefully contains ice cream.
“Thanks so much for coming. Where’s the boy?”
“Still with his dad. They’re coming back from a fishing trip up north and won’t be back until tomorrow. Never mind that he’s supposed to be at school by 8.45am.”
“It must be hard dealing with a difficult ex.”
She pushes her way inside and dumps the bag on the kitchen counter. “Yeah, Nate can be infuriating sometimes, but I have to say, he is a good dad. Ryder adores him. I mean, I never know if they’re going to come back alive from whatever adventure Nate takes them on, but they seem to spend a lot of quality time together.”
I open the bag and pull out the ice cream. It’s Ben & Jerry’s. The same flavour I ate while watching Lincoln on TV the night he was eliminated. A confusing mix of emotions flows through my brain.
“Okay, so what do we need the ice cream therapy for?”
“Lincoln told me I could wind my business back because he’s all fancy and famous now.”
She snorts. “I think you’re going to have to elaborate slightly.”
I get a couple of spoons, handing Millicent one and digging the other straight into the container. I don’t have time for bowls tonight.
“He scored a three-album deal and an international world tour.”
“How dare he!” she teases.
“Miss! Of course that’s amazing, and I’m really excited for him, but what annoyed me was when he showed me the last paycheck he got, and he was all ‘Now you don’t have to work anymore, and I can have all the fun while you stay home with the kids.’”
Millicent raises an eyebrow. “Did he word it that way exactly?”
“It’s what he implied!”
“Okay, hang on. Let’s just slow down for a second. Your hot rockstar boyfriend comes home with the most exciting news a person can have. He sees his pregnant girlfriend and wants to make sure she’s happy and relaxed…and somehow that’s a problem?”
I punch her in the arm. “Don’t say it like that. You make me sound like a psycho.”
“If Constantinos and I had been together for six months and he came to me saying he’d basically won the lottery and suggested he’d pay for me to work whatever hours I wanted, I’d jump at the chance.”
“But that’s not the point! I don’t want Lincoln’s money. I want my own! And I love what I do. If I could, I would do more hours.”
She nods. “I totally get it, babe. No one’s forcing you to give up work or do anything you don’t want. But I think you need to cut Lincoln some slack. He was just excited. He probably didn’t mean anything by it.”
I sigh. “I know. It’s just…I want everything to be equal. And I’m worried that it won’t be in reality.”
“I think you need to talk to him about your fears, but also don’t get mad at him for wanting to take care of you.”
“You’re right.” I shove a large spoonful of ice cream in my mouth. “He’s kind of the perfect guy, Miss. And he loves me.”
“Aw, that’s adorable. You make me sick, you’re so sweet together.”
“I know.” Suddenly, I’m a gloopy mess. I really love Lincoln. And not just the guy I idolised on TV. The real him. And I know he’s gone through a lot recently, but he’s still holding it together and trying to make sure I’m happy.
“I should call him.”
“He can wait until tomorrow. I’m here now, so we’re going to have a girly night. At least, whatever’s left of it.”
“Yeah, you’re right. I think it will be best if we start afresh tomorrow.”
“Let’s take this ice cream into the living room, shall we? I feel like watching something violent.”
I laugh. “Why violent?”
“I don’t know. All this sappiness is making me feel strange. Give me some true crime. Or maybe a creepy serial killer series.”
I roll my eyes. “Has anyone ever told you you’re a little different?”
“All the time.”
“Okay. Excessive violence it is.”
We sit down, and I switch on the TV, first making sure Daisy’s bedroom door is closed so she won’t be disturbed.
My life is pretty damn good.
THIRTY-TWO
Lincoln
I don’t sleep that well, but it’s not because I’m worried about Tash not forgiving me. Well, that does play in the back of my mind a little, but it’s more because I want to make sure I do and say the right thing when I see her again.
As soon as the shops open, I go and buy everything Felix suggested, including chocolates, roses, and a fancy massage oil so I can give her a foot rub. I’m not sure if she’ll opt to leave the petals on the stems or let me put them in the bath for her later, but either way, I’m down with whatever she wants.