“Don’t tell me you’re pregnant,” Keiko says jokingly.
Tash looks at her unwaveringly. “I am.”
Keiko’s eyes widen. “No! Really?”
I sneak a glance at Dennis. He’s looking at me with narrowed eyes.
“It was unplanned, but I’m taking full responsibility,” I say.
“I can’t believe you’re pregnant,” Keiko says, dazed.
“I know it’s a lot to take in, Mum, but I wanted you and Dad to know as soon as possible. Lincoln and I are going to make this work.”
“Do you plan on marrying my daughter?” Keiko demands.
“Mum! We’ve only just started dating,” Tash answers for me. “We’re not going to rush into marriage.”
“But what’s going to stop him from skipping out like that other waste of space you were involved with?”
“I am not going to skip out,” I assure Keiko.
Dennis hadn’t talked until now, but he suddenly pipes up. “Lincoln, why don’t you and I go get lunch started while the girls talk?”
“Sure.”
I follow Dennis inside and watch as he gets out a breadboard and a knife. I almost make a joke about not having sharp objects nearby right now, but I decide I don’t know him well enough yet.
He hands me a baguette, which I start cutting up while he gets some cheese, tomatoes, and cucumbers from the fridge.
“I assume you know the full story of what happened with Daisy’s father?” he says.
“Actually, Tash hasn’t told me the details. Just that he left before she was born.”
“Yeah, well, there was a bit more to it than that.”
I put the knife down and look at him. “What happened?”
“Brad was the kind of guy who only looked out for himself. He treated my daughter like a trophy and wore her down until she lost all her spark. To be honest, I was glad when he left, because it was the first time I got to see some of Tash’s fire again.”
“I’m so sorry.” It makes me sad to think about Tash suffering in any way.
“He had an oversized ego and was always bragging to me about how he was on the verge of some massive paycheck. The problem was, nothing ever eventuated, and in the meantime, he was sponging off my daughter. She supported him financially throughout their entire relationship.”
“And you think I’m going to be the same.”
“The music business isn’t exactly known for its reliable pay.”
“Actually, I just came off a national tour, which gave me a fairly decent salary. I also play regular gigs, and when things are slow, I work as a barista. I do whatever I have to do. I’m not fussy.”
Dennis nods thoughtfully. “That’s good to hear. What about your parents? What do they think of your career choice?”
“They’re not fans,” I say flatly.
“You’re not close?” he asks.
“You could say that.” The last thing I thought I’d be doing is confiding in my girlfriend’s father about my parents’ total absence in my life.
“You want to talk about it?”
“Let’s just say they like their alcohol.”
“It sounds like you’ve had to deal with a lot in your life, too.”
Tell me about it. And if your daughter’s child doesn’t turn out to be mine, I may not recover.
“What can you do?” I say, shrugging.
Dennis finishes compiling the sandwiches and hands me the tray.
“Just keep on doing what you’re doing,” he says.
I half smile. I’ll take that to mean I’m on my way to getting the guy’s tick of approval.
***
Later in the car, thoughts are swirling around in my brain. While the rest of the afternoon went smoothly, the fact that Keiko asked if I was prepared to marry Tash freaked me out a little. I haven’t even told her I love her yet. It’s so early and there’s so much up in the air, I can’t make sense of my feelings.
I definitely didn’t lie when I said I cared deeply about her, but love is such a strong word, and the last person I loved completely crushed me.
“How are you feeling?” Tash asks.
“It’s a lot,” I say honestly.
“I know. But we knew that going in. You were amazing today. Thank you for coming.”
“No problem.”
“Is there anything you want to talk about?” she asks.
“I don’t think so. I just need to work through a few things in my head.”
“Well, if you change your mind, I’m here.”
“Thank you.” And then I feel terrible. Tash is likely going through the same thing as me. Maybe worse.
When we get back to her place, she turns to me hopefully. “You want to come in for a bit?”
“Actually, I might go home. The girls will be calling on Skype soon and I don’t want to miss them.”
She nods, but I can tell she’s a little disappointed. I just can’t summon the energy right now to be the guy she needs.
“I’ll call you tomorrow,” I say.
She strokes my face before she leaves. “Take care.”
I watch her go inside before driving away.
But I feel like everything is wrong.
On returning to my place, I head straight for the living room and throw myself on the couch.
I shouldn’t be here alone. I should be there with Tash and Daisy. Being invited to go and hang out temporarily at their house has made me realise how separate we still are. How are we supposed to have a child and a normal relationship?
I don’t like how we left things today. And I have higher standards for myself than to run away when things get tough.
I jump in the car and drive all the way back over to Highgate Hill. I stride up the front path and knock firmly on the door.
She answers, surprised. “What are you…”
I cut her off by pulling her in close and kissing her firmly. It takes a moment, but I feel her body soften as she kisses me back. I run my fingers through her hair and inhale her beautiful strawberry-scented perfume.
I gently pull away and look at her intently. “I just needed to see you one more time today.”
She smiles. “I’m glad you did.”
“If that invitation still stands, I’d like to come in.”
“Of course. We’re just going to get take-out tonight and watch some more Disney. How do you feel about Hawaiian pizza and Moana?”
“It sounds like heaven. The twins haven’t called yet, but when they do, I might have to briefly sneak away to talk to them. Is that okay?”
Tash kisses me on the neck and yanks me inside.
“Of course, you gorgeous man.”
TWENTY-EIGHT
Tash
The next few days are crazy. I’m busy working, and Lincoln has a bunch of stuff to go through with his band. It’s looking more and more like a formal deal with Max is imminent, and I am so excited for him. I don’t want to jinx myself, but I feel like everything is finally coming together.
I know Lincoln is still secretly worried about the results of the paternity test, but I have a surprise for him.
It’s 6pm on a Wednesday night when I go to his place. I told him I had a meeting, which is technically true, but not for what he thinks.