I feel Liv’s hand on my back as she nudges me gently towards the restroom. I don’t want to go, I want to hear what Diane says, but what’s the point? I’ve been demoted from girlfriend to stranger.
Trey leans down and whispers he’ll fill us in, and I feel my feet start to move. This is all a bad dream. One I am so desperate to wake up from.
I make my way into the restroom and look at my face. Tears have carved out a roadmap on my cheeks, and my eyes are swollen and puffy. There is no helping me.
Liv calls out of the restroom and says something to Trey, and she’s back to me in seconds.
“Now, we can't have you looking like some scary creature when your man sees you for the first time.”
“Liv, he’s not my man,” I say entirely deflated.
“Bullshit. He is your man. And you are his woman, he just needs to be reminded. We are gonna make him remember you, and if he doesn’t, then we’re gonna help him fall head over heels in love with you again.”
There’s a knock on the door. Trey passes something to Liv and the door closes again.
“Liv, you should have seen his face. He had no idea who I was, and he thinks he’s dating Heather.”
She places two ice cubes under my eyes and tells me to rub them in a circular motion while she fixes my hair. She sprinkles water on it and squeezes it to help give it some texture. I sit in silence while she works her magic, applying mascara, blush, and a soft pink lip gloss. She steps back to admire her work.
“You look beautiful, sweetie.”
I look in the mirror and give her credit for the miracle she was able to pull off.
“Liv, how am I going to face him again? How am I going to pass him in the halls, and not get excited at seeing him? He was my world. Maybe Diane was right. Maybe we were too dependent on each other. Maybe I should go to South Carolina and try to move forward with my life.”
“And maybe you should grow a pair of balls and put up a fight for your man. You’re not alone in this Pres. Trey, Coach, me, hell even Marcus, we all have your back, and together we will bring Robert back. It’s just gonna take some time. He’s still there. He’s just buried down deep right now.”
As we exit the restroom, the waiting room is empty except for Trey who gives me a tight squeeze, and I’m thankful for him right now.
“Diane wants all of us to go into Robert’s room. She wants to see who he remembers and who he doesn’t. Pres, she filled us in on everything, including the conversation she had with you this morning. It’s not what you think. She loves you, but she’s trying to think rationally.”
“Well, he doesn’t remember me, so I’m not sure why I’m going in.”
Liv gives me a little squeeze and walks me down the hall back towards Robert’s room.
Diane gives me a small smile when she sees me, but right now, I don’t trust anything from her is genuine.
“Remember, Heather, you will go in last,” she says.
Heather is all smiles and I want to kick the stupid grin off of her face. Mom takes my hand; we are sandwiched between Coach and Liv as we enter Robert’s room.
“Honey, do you recognize any of these people?” Diane’s voice is calm and relaxed, I’m sure it’s to help Robert feel safe with this new reality he is dealing with.
“This is ridiculous, Mom. Of course I know these people. Mr. and Mrs. Keller, Marcus, Coach, Liv, and Trey.” He points to each person as he goes around the room.
“And what about the other two?”
“I don’t know. The mom looks familiar, like someone from a picture you have.
Diane smiles a little; maybe Liv’s right, maybe Brice has Robert buried way down deep.
“And what about her?”
“Nope. I don’t know her besides from the fact she was sleeping in my room.”
I force back my tears as my heart breaks again, and Liv tightly grips my hand. He doesn’t remember me. Diane opens the door and in walks Heather all smiles and bouncy. I want to close my eyes against the onslaught of emotion, but I force them open.
“There’s my ballplayer. You scared me. I’m so happy you’re okay.” Heather makes her way over to his bed, runs her hand down the side of his face and across his jawline.
“God, I’ve missed you.”
The smile he gives her is my smile. The one he gives when he is genuinely happy about something.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t here when you woke up, but, hospitals—yuck.”
“It’s fine. You’re here now.” He pulls her closer to him and she quickly cups his jaw and kisses him passionately, letting out a disgusting moan.
I can't watch this. I can't breathe. I can't watch her take what’s mine. I refuse to sit here and watch Heather mock our relationship as if it were nothing.
As I step outside of his room, I hear Liv yell at him.
“You’re a fucking moron! Here, use this. And don’t fucking touch her. You’ve probably already caught something.”
“Oww. That hurt. I’m not using this; the bottle’s half empty.”
“Yea, probably used by the person that hasn’t left your side since last night. And don’t look at her, you idiot. She told you she doesn’t like hospitals. God! Men can be such idiots sometimes. I swear Robert, if you fuck this up, by the time you get your memory back, you will wish you could forget everything again.
“Quit calling me Robert. My name’s Brice.”
“Your name’s Robert, asshole, and that’s what I’m going to call you. We’re all gonna call you Robert. And Heather, drop the fucking act, you aren’t fooling anyone.”
Hearing Liv as she moves around the hospital room makes me laugh as I imagine she’s throwing the half-used bottle of mouth wash at Robert. Hope she hits his head. I know I’m not alone, but right now, it’s hard not to feel it.
Chapter Twenty-six
Mom, Gramps, Gram, and I pull up to the ranch.
The car ride home was quiet, no one really knowing what to say to me. I can't hear another, “It’s gonna be alright,” or a, “You’ll get through this,” or my favorite, “You’re unforgettable. Just give him time.” Time. The exact thing I don’t have a ton of.
Acceptance deadlines are quickly approaching and if I don’t say yes to one of them, then the chances of Mom getting her wish for me to stay here and go to school in the city, is looking more and more like a possibility.
Getting out of the car, Mom offers to talk about everything, but I’m done talking. I’m done listening. I’m done crying.
“I think I’m just gonna go lay down.”
The three of them let me go as Gram offers to bring in dinner later. I open my bedroom door and think about the time Robert kicked it off the hinge, and it swung open for a week until Gramps forced him to fix it. I sat on my bed, giggling at his frustration, but then swooned over him as I watched his back and shoulder muscles flex and contract with each movement he took.
Kringle lifts his head and wags his tail, bringing a small smile to my lips. I lay down on the bed while Kringle snuggles into the crook I create between my stomach and my knees; my fingers absentmindedly brush against him as I explain to him why Robert won't be around much anymore. “I’m sorry, boy. Your daddy loves you very much. He loves both of us, but right now, he’s lost, and I don’t know if he will ever find his way home.”