The bell rings; I watch her collect her things, head off to her next class, and I wonder when I’ll see her again.
The rest of the afternoon continues like the morning, and soon I’m standing on the pitcher’s mound. Coach wanted me to get a few throws in before he called the schools and the minors to tell them about my injury.
He takes video and watches me intensely, his smile growing as I throw out each pitch, and by the end of practice, I’m surprised his face hasn’t cracked open. He’s grinning and laughing like a crazy person, running off the field as soon as he ends practice. I’ve never seen him so eager to get off the field since I’ve known the man, and it’s been four years now.
I collect my stuff and walk to my truck. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Coach and Presley. She looks back and forth between him and his phone, her hands over her lips, her cheeks are high and rounded as she smiles. I feel lucky just to witness it.
*****
I watch the video over and over. My heart races, and I notice Coach is watching my reaction.
“That means something to you, doesn’t it?” His smile is as broad as mine.
“Before the first game of the season, he told me it was his sign for me. To let me know he was thinking about me. But how?”
“My only guess is his love of baseball overshadowed his love for you. Baseball was stronger and so it won.”
“I don’t care if he loves a tiny white ball more than me. I think I’m equally in love with it. I’m still there. I’m buried down deep, but I’m still there. Thank you so much for showing me this.”
“Presley, I think you need to be at all of the practices. He did alright today, but he’s off. He’s gonna have scouts and reps from Arizona out there watching him on Wednesday. I think you need to be there. Come to tomorrow’s practice, and we’ll test out my theory, I’m not asking you to do anything, or talk to him, just be there.”
I watch the video a final time.
“What time’s practice?”
Coach bumps my shoulder and gives me a sly smile.
“Four o’clock, Presley, you know the routine.”
He walks away, and I do a little happy dance. I needed something positive after seeing Heather’s arms wrapped around him like tentacles today at lunch. I told Liv I was gonna step back, I was gonna let him come to me when he was ready; seeing them together was so much harder than I had ever anticipated. I’m not mad at him, how could I be. He doesn’t know me.
-April 1st-
I make it to practice like Coach asked, sitting higher in the bleachers than I usually do and off on the third baseline. Robert and Coach are working together trying to loosen him up and work out the few kinks that have worked their way into his pitches.
He throws pitch after pitch to the catcher while Coach takes speed readings from behind home plate. Throw after throw, Robert signals me, sometimes before his pitch, and sometimes afterward, but it’s definitely there.
After thirty minutes or so Coach brings Trey in to hit against him. He wants to see how many times Robert can strikeout. Unfortunately, Trey gets hit after hit, and Robert’s frustration level builds until he unintentionally throws a ball into the stands. It bounces off the bleachers in front of me. I don’t move, but once again, our eyes are locked onto one another before he angrily yells out that it’s a closed practice, and I need to leave.
I gather my things and walk out of the stadium. Coach meets me at the exit and apologizes, “He’s mad at the situation, Presley. It has nothing to do with you.”
“I know Coach.”
“I know you’re waiting on something, and all of us trust you. Don’t give up on him. He needs you more than I think he even realizes. One day he’ll break through.”
“I have no intention of giving up. See you tomorrow.”
“Four o’clock, and here, wear this.”
I look down at the little bundle Coach gives me. It’s a distressed baseball cap stuffed with one of Robert’s old practice jerseys, a rubber band around the brim to break the rigidness out of it.
-April 4th-
I know the scouts are coming this afternoon to reevaluate Robert. He seemed tense at lunch, but unlike the previous few days, today he was angled away from Heather, although still sitting next to her. His hickeys have started to fade, and he’s beginning to look more and more like my man, and less like a vampire’s plaything. He looked so cheap with those things on his neck. He was better than those marks; he was better than her.
I opened the door leading to the outside courtyard and hear him let out a loud, “Oww.”
“I told you, you would get one every day until she’s back at our table,” said Liv.
As funny as it is to see him get some sense knocked into him, the minute he’s ready for me, he can have me. I spend my lunches weighing the pros and cons of the schools I was accepted into, hoping it would make my decision easier when it came time to put in my acceptance.
I applied to Arizona University as a late applicant the night we decided he would go straight to the minors, but now, I’m torn. What do I do if his memory doesn’t come back before graduation? Do I go and hope it eventually does, or do I move on with my life as Diane had said? Follow my dreams and pray for the best.
I’m late to practice, which works in my favor. Coach opened the practice to all scouts, making it easier for me to blend in. I did forgo wearing the practice jersey, I didn’t want to draw any attention to myself, and the ballcap made it easy to blend into the sea of other caps.
Today Robert was power, precision, speed, grace, agility, and sex all tied up in the perfect MLB bow. There was no way any of the three would rescind their offers. If anything were to happen today, it would be Robert receiving more offers making the next five days a confusing nightmare on top of the issues he was currently dealing with. But more than anything, today, he felt a little more like my man.
-April 14th-
Today is Robert’s Commitment Day, and as I suspected, he had an additional five offers come in. Two schools in California, one in Texas, Tennessee, and Georgia, but he still chose to take the minor’s offer.
Diane came up to the school for the ceremony and invited me to attend with her, but I declined. This was his moment to shine, and so I watched from a corner in the back. I found strength in being hidden. I could watch him uninhibited by expectations, and I could truly see him.
He and Heather were still dating, but yet she couldn’t be bothered to attend the most significant event in his life. I felt sad for him as I watched him search the crowd for someone who never seemed to show.
*****
Today has been a bustle of nerves and excitement. I’m surrounded by my mom, Coach, and members of the Rangers’ staff; I still feel as if someone is missing, but I don’t know who. There are questions I need answered, but no one will answer them for me. I’m told over and over again I need to ask Presley, but I don’t feel ready to.
This should be easy, but for some reason, I can't manage to talk to her. She passes by me every day in the hall, a small smile, and then she casts her glance downward as she tucks her hair behind her ear. Beautiful green eyes draw me in, and I’m stuck in her trance, and then she’s gone. Every day I have multiple opportunities to talk to her, but yet I don’t.