“How about we go to the pier and do a little fishing, then have dinner?”
“It’s a little cold for fishing this time of year,” I mutter.
“Sure, that sounds fun. I’ll bundle up,” Tessa agrees, ignoring me. I hope that’s because doing anything outdoors is better than being cooped up inside with him. Doesn’t the prick understand that she doesn’t want to be alone with him?
“I hope you don’t mind if we have some tagalongs,” Tessa says.
Paul glares at me a second before he turns his attention to her and sweetly says, “Invite whoever you want.”
“Well, I don’t really have to invite them because Roman has instructed them to go wherever I go,” Tessa says, and I realize belatedly that she’s referring to the prospects and not me.
She doesn’t want me to come along.
Fuck.
“Oh, you mean the two boys outside, standing guard near that tent?” Paul asks in relief when he realizes the same thing I just did. “That’s no problem. I’m glad you have them to keep an eye out for you.”
“Yeah, well, the prospects keep watch outside while I handle the inside of the apartment,” I remark. That isn’t exactly true, but I’m going with it.
“I’m sure that makes Tessa feel incredibly safe,” he says.
“It does,” she agrees. “So when do you want to leave?”
“How about I go find a hotel room and change, then come pick you up in about an hour?”
“I’ll be ready,” Tessa says as she stands up, and Paul and I do the same. I’m relieved when he starts toward the door.
“See you then,” he says as she unlocks and holds it open for him.
As soon as the door closes again, I tell her, “You don’t have to go anywhere with him.”
“It’s fine,” Tessa replies.
“Are you sure? I could go with you.”
“That’s okay,” she says. “The prospects will be there the whole time.”
“So you’re actually going to date him?” I say in disbelief.
“I guess I am,” Tessa agrees. “I ruined his life, and he’s been patiently waiting for me. The least I can do is go on a few dates to see if there’s still a spark there.”
“A spark?” I repeat. “You mean like the spark between us that nearly burned down this whole building last night?”
Tessa’s cheeks turn a shade of red that matches the color of her beautiful hair. “There’s more to a relationship than sex.”
“Sure there is,” I agree. “I guess I’m just sort of surprised that you’re going out with him and having sex with me.”
“That’s not…we didn’t…” she starts, mouth gaping.
“Oral sex is definitely a type of sex. It’s right there in the name. And I know it was a huge step for you to take. I didn’t know it meant so little that you would turn around and start dating your fiancé today.”
“You’re the one who said sex was just a physical act that doesn’t mean anything,” Tessa reminds me.
“That may be true for me,” I agree. “What do you think good ole boy Paul would say if he knew what we did on that sofa just hours before he showed up?”
“I-I should probably tell him the truth,” Tessa replies, which is not exactly what I wanted her to say. I wanted her to agree with me and say she wasn’t going to see him.
Since she’s obviously not psychic and doesn’t know my every thought, I tell her, “I don’t want you to go out with him.”
“Really?” Tessa says. “Well, I didn’t want you to disappear for months and not call me. Paul did! Every single day, even though he knew I wouldn’t answer. Because he loves me, and when you love someone, you don’t up and disappear from their life!”
“I told you I was sorry!” I exclaim. “I thought you were better off without me, that I was holding you back from moving on, getting back together with your fiancé.”
“If that’s true, then why are you here now?” she asks.
“Because I missed you and you didn’t move on, so I think you missed me too.”
“Maybe if you had told me before you left that you’re not capable of more than casual sex, I wouldn’t have waited.”
Fuck.
Why the hell did I tell her that? It’s true, yes, but that doesn’t mean I won’t ever be able to love her the way she deserves. Does it? How the fuck can I be sure? It wouldn’t be fair to lead Tessa on when I can’t give her more than a few orgasms.
“Now you know,” I state simply rather than make promises I may not be able to keep.
“Yeah, now I know,” Tessa agrees before she storms off to her room with Lola to get ready for her fucking date.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Tessa
* * *
“It’s a beautiful day,” Paul says. “Even if it is a little chilly.”
“Yeah,” I agree as I keep my hands on my fishing pole next to him. Dressed in a thick cashmere sweater, peacoat and jeans, gloves and hat, I’m staying pretty warm.
And now that we’re here, mostly alone with only the prospects standing several feet away out of earshot, it’s probably best that I should be honest with Paul, get everything out in the open now rather than drag it out.
“So, there’s, um, something I should tell you,” I start.
“Yeah? What’s that?’ he asks. “There’s a lot you should tell me,” Paul says with a grin. “I haven’t seen you in eight months!”
“I know, and I’ll try to catch you up, but first, well, Verek’s not a bodyguard like the prospects.”
“Oh really?” he asks, his gaze turning back out into the gentle ocean waves.
“Last night we kissed and did other things together,” I blurt out.
“Yeah, I figured as much,” Paul says.
“You did?”
“He spent the night in your apartment and answered the door without a shirt on this morning, Tessa,” he mutters. “I’m not a complete idiot.”
“Oh. Right.”
“Is it serious?” he asks so softly that I can barely hear him over the waves crashing against the pier.
“No. I don’t think so,” I say, even though how I feel about Verek is serious.
“Then I don’t care,” Paul states simply.
“You don’t care?”
“Baby, I would’ve done anything for a chance to see you this week,” he says, his brown eyes finally meeting mine again. “A chance is all I want. I’m not asking you to change your life now that I’m here in town. That wouldn’t be fair to you. I showed up unannounced knowing things aren’t the same between us. I get it. You gave me your ring back. I know where we stand. There wasn’t any confusion there.”
“Right,” I agree.
“I understand that things have changed, you’ve changed, and there are new people in your life that you didn’t push away. And while it may take some time, hopefully, maybe one day, you’ll remember what was between us and want to kiss me again. After what you went through, the fact that you’re comfortable doing those things with him just makes me think that someday everything could be back to normal with us.”