John settled his cap on his head, shook Earl’s hand and followed through with a firm shake of Ruby’s. ‘Thank you both for your hospitality. I’ll keep an eye out for Tommy and send him home.’
As they saw him from the premises and watched him walk away, Ruby stepped to one side and pointed to the street. ‘And you, Earl. As I said, I’m shutting up shop and heading home. It’s time for you to go – perhaps back to your camp too.’ Ruby resisted tapping the side of her nose.
‘I’ll be back. You’re too young to have to deal with foreigners, especially foreign servicemen,’ Earl said, stepping onto the pavement.
‘Don’t put yourself out on my account. I’m sure you’re busy with secret meetings. I’m not so important as our great country. No, don’t worry about coming back, Earl. I’ll cope.’
Before she could blink, he’d grabbed her arm again. He bared his teeth. ‘The Canadian might not be who he says he is, and a danger to the country with that camera. He thinks you’re my wife, and Tommy’s our kid. We’ll keep it that way. Understand?’ He pulled her closer to his face. ‘I know where you live, and who lives with you. Old and frail fall all the time. Dead by the time they hit the floor. Understand?’
Petrified at the thought of Fred getting caught up in this man’s violent threats, Ruby nodded. Earl stepped into the doorway and pulled her closer. He jammed his mouth to hers and she squirmed her way free.
‘Just for appearance’s sake.’ Earl let her arm go and walked away. Frightened of him returning, she shut the door, turned the key and walked away in the opposite direction as fast as she could, her heart racing as she turned over Earl’s threat in her mind before heading for Eagle Street.
CHAPTER 21
Ruby talked herself into calming down. Earl had no true hold over her, and she would speak to Fred when she got home. She shook herself free from the fear and offered a smile to a regular customer as she crossed a road, grateful for the distraction.
‘They look pretty. From an admirer?’ the woman said, and pointed to the flowers in Ruby’s hand. The small posy of flowers – made up of Michaelmas daisies and yellow roses collected from her garden – were in honour of her little brother, and she wanted to lay them close to his resting place.
‘Would have been my little brother’s birthday today,’ Ruby said.
‘Aw, duck. I’m that sorry. So sad …’ the woman replied.
‘It is, but he’d have liked these. He loved the garden,’ Ruby said and lifted the flowers for the woman to smell.
‘Lovely thought. You take care of yourself, Ruby, and you know where I am if you need anything.’ The woman touched Ruby’s arm and walked away.
Ruby gave a nod. ‘Likewise, Maude,’ she said and moved onto the land where her home had once stood.
She stood on the ground beside the now filled crater, and it took her by surprise to see the dark hole no longer existed. She’d known it would happen one day, but hadn’t expected it when presented with its disappearance. The lack of a dark pit meant the end of hoping to see a familiar face stare back at her. A dull ache took residence in her chest. There was no relief, nor sadness, and Ruby made a mental note to speak with Helen as soon as possible, to find out what the plans were for the land. The grave of her family.
Burying her nose into the flowers, Ruby inhaled their sweet perfume. She kissed the petals and knelt down, leaning forward to place them on the charred soil. No tears fell, but a shuddering sigh heightened the ache inside. She placed her hand across her pounding chest and held back a scream or some form of verbal reaction. She could not – would no longer – allow despair to take over her life every time she visited the spot. She lifted her head to the sky, then dipped it towards the ground as if in prayer, but if anyone could read her thoughts they’d see they were far from generous towards their enemies as she renewed a vow to create a happier place, and not let them take away her right to enjoy life – to make her live with guilt every day.
Something rustled behind her and disturbed her thoughts. She snapped her head to her right and upwards, to see John standing a few feet away. ‘Were you following me?’ she asked and made no attempt to stand.
‘No, I think it’s the other way around. I’ve been here since I left your shop. Seeing you today made me want to return to see the green wallpaper, but look –’ he pointed behind him ‘– it’s gone and, for some strange reason, it saddened me. You made me see it in a different light. I’ve seen a lot of things differently since that day.’
Ruby’s brief annoyance with him was squashed when he gave her a beaming grin. There it was – the way to her heart. John released the ache inside her chest and replaced it with another sensation – a butterfly tremble in her stomach. A happy moment.
‘What sort of things do you see when you look through there?’ she asked, and pointed to the camera. ‘I mean, I know you see objects, and record things for the war, but why – what is it you see to make you want to turn it into a photograph?’
‘In Canada, I saw beauty. Rugged land, trees higher than buildings, buildings which deserved the name skyscraper. Over here, I see pain, destruction, strength and endurance. Both humble me. Here, you look. Tell me what you see.’
John held out his camera to her, and Ruby stood up and took it from his hands. The black box was lighter than she’d expected.
‘It’s a Rolleiflex. I had my father’s but this one is smaller and easier to use when I’m moving around.’
‘How do you use it?’ Ruby asked.
‘Put your hands here.’ John moved her hands into position and his touch came as a surprise. Ruby gripped the camera tight for fear of dropping it as her hands warmed in his. ‘Don’t grip so hard; that’s right, now look down. I’ve adjusted for the light. If you take a photograph, it’s with this button, here.’
John explained a few more details then walked a few feet away; he opened his arms wide and stood with his legs apart. ‘Tell me what you see.’
Ruby peered down into a window at the top of the camera and shook her head.
‘Nothing,’ she said, and peered into the camera again, screwing up her eyes with determination.
With a laugh, John moved behind her and peered over her shoulder into the viewfinder. ‘Look there,’ he said and directed her finger with his hand to the viewpoint.
He walked away and stood in front of her again. ‘Now what do you see?’
Ruby wanted to tell him she could see a man who made her stomach flutter every time she looked at him. A man with a smile which lit up his face and made his eyes twinkle. She saw lips she wanted to touch, arms she imagined holding her tight when her troubles haunted her, and she wanted to tell him she looked at the first man she’d imagined warming her on a cold winter’s night. She saw love through a lens and clicked to capture it for ever.
‘I did it!’ she said.
With a clap of his hands, John applauded her and reclaimed his camera. ‘I’ll develop it for you to keep. A reminder of today. After all, it’s only fair as I have photographs of you.’
‘You have photographs of the old me, and the distressed me.’