19
Colton
The look in her eyes tells me she doesn’t believe me. I don’t blame her. From the outside, my life looks like it’s perfect—a good job, an expensive apartment, and I get to travel the world. But she hasn’t seen the ugliness that lies beneath. The struggle, the trouble I went through as a teen. And she hasn’t seen the heartbreak I suffered watching my mother get through her life single, with a son who didn’t want the love offered to him.
Thankfully, I got my head on straight.
“I don’t think anyone’s life is perfect. I doubt anyone is perfect,” Violet relates. “But deep down, some people suffer more than others. Some people may seem like they have it all, but in actual fact, they are the ones suffering the most.”
“How did you become so wise to the world?” I ask with a smile, hoping to lighten the heaviness of the conversation. I wanted to wait until I spring the TV show on her, but like my mother always says, it’s easier to rip the Band-Aid off fast.
“I don’t know. Life taught me never to take things at face value.”
“Then, you should listen.” I hold onto her hand as I lean back in my chair. “There’s something else I wanted to talk to you about. Something that’s been brought to my attention today.”
“Oh?” Violet smiles before picking up her glass and taking a sip of wine. She spikes her fork through a small piece of potato before popping it in her mouth, and I’m momentarily distracted by her lips. “Colton?”
“Yeah, sorry, love, you were doing that thing with your mouth, and I forgot where we were,” I tease with a wink, causing a blush to spread over her cheeks. “I’ve been offered a new contract by Brazen Briefs.”
“That’s incredible!” Her excitement sparkles in her eyes and her smile brightens her face. She’s so striking when she’s happy. And it’s not even for her, it’s for me.
“I don’t think I’ll be signing it.”
“Why?” Her brows crease in confusion, and I know it’s now or never. I’m going to have to tell her their terms.
“They’ve pitched a sort of reality show to one of the major networks. Even though they’d be filming in New York, they want me to be the face of the show.”
“That’s a good thing. Right?”
“Not necessarily. They have terms I disagree with, and that’s why I’m second-guessing this.” My honesty scrapes along my throat. I don’t want to scare her off with feelings and emotions, but I like her. More than I thought I could, but it’s too soon to tell her that.
“What’s going on, Colton?”
“They want to film me as a bachelor, living the high life in New York. And—”
“And I’ll be in the way,” Violet finishes my sentence. Sadness is clear in her tone, and it hits me right in the chest.
When I was back in England, I did enjoy my single life, but what the cameras captured wasn’t the real me. Even though I went clubbing most weekends and spent my time with women I worked with, they were mostly professional.
But the thought of disappointing her has made me second-guess myself. More than I ever have before. Most times, I would sign without thinking about it because if I had to be honest, it’s a great contract. However, having Violet in my life has made me rethink my priorities.
“I don’t want to do it because I want this thing between us to work,” I explain. “I know it’s early days, and I’m not expecting promises and vows. All I want you to know is that I do care for you, and I don’t want to jeopardize what I’ve found here.”
“There’s nothing here to find,” Violet insists, but the shimmering in her eyes tells another story. “If you want to do this, I won’t stand in your way. I don’t own you, and this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.”
“No, you don't understand what I meant. I want you, Violet. I’m not signing a fucking contract that tells me I can’t have you.” My tone is commanding, adamant, because I feel it right down to my bones. I never once cared about what women thought of me. In the past, I would happily have walked away from someone if it meant I could further my career, but right now, I have everything I want, and it’s sitting opposite me.
Violet sets her cutlery down, then picks up her glass, finishing off the wine that remained. Slowly, she pushes her chair back, and my body is alert. I don’t want her running off into the night. We need to talk about this. If there’s anything I learned from my mother, it’s that you don’t let a good thing pass you by.
And Violet is so much more than just a good thing.
“I need to use the bathroom,” she states. Silently, she spins on her heel and leaves me at the table. The only reason I’m not racing after her is that I know she’s coming back. She left her purse on the table.
I don’t know how else to make her see what she means to me already. So, I wait for her to return and tell me what’s going to happen. I want her to be by my side, but I can’t see how it’s going to work if I have cameras following me around all day every day. But I don’t care. I’ll refuse the contract if it means she’ll give me a chance.
When Violet returns, I’m sure she’s been crying, but she doesn’t look me directly in the eye, so I can’t make sure. She settles in opposite me before slowly looking up, meeting my stare.
“I think if it’s a good opportunity, you should do it.” Her voice is calm, but there’s a slight tremble in her words. “I hate the spotlight, I always have, but if you choose to sign the contract and want to continue what we have, I ask one thing of you.”
Silence hangs heavily between us, so I nod. “I’ll do anything you want. Just don’t buy into the media and the news you might see. It’s a television show. One that feeds on drama to survive.”
“I’m a big girl, Colton. I know how reality shows work. But the one thing I ask is that if they do put a female lead into the show, and you’re meant to… You know… do things.” She waves her hand as if it’s nothing, but I can tell it hurts her to think about that. “I want you to tell me. I want to know that you’re not openly cheating on me even if the world thinks you’re single.”
“I’m not going to be doing anything with anyone other than you,” I bite out, but it’s not frustration or anger at her. It’s the thought of her even considering I would want to fuck anyone else.
“Fine.” She crosses her arms over her chest, which draws my attention to her beautiful breasts. Her cleavage teases me from across the table, and I can’t stop the groan from rumbling in my lungs. “God, you’re such a man.” Violet rolls her eyes, but there’s a hint of a smile dancing on her lips.
“I didn’t think you’d want me any other way,” I tease.
“Who said I wanted you?” This time, Violet laughs, and it’s the most melodic sound I’ve ever heard. I want to hear it again and again.
“Don’t get cheeky with me, love,” I warn, picking up the bottle of wine and refilling our glasses. “I’d like to ask you something else.” It’s been a night of honest questions and answers. And there’s one more thing I’d like, now that I know she’s okay with me signing the contract.