A noise breaks me from my thoughts. “Phoebe. He’s not good.” Caden holds the elevator door open.
Heaving in air, it’s time to put on my big girl panties and brace my body with some steel, so I can support Ocean.
Yelling inside my head, “I can fucking do this”, I release my breath with my heart pounding and I rush forward into the metal box. I need to be with him. I want to be his support.
Making myself stand a taller, a confidence envelops me that hasn’t been present before. This is for the boy who saved me. “Thanks for warning me. How long have they been here?”
“Only about thirty minutes but the shouting started about ten minutes ago.” Rising higher and higher, the elevator stops, and I get out hesitantly. Ocean’s apartment is nearer the end of the corridor. Putting one foot in front of the other, I measure my breaths to slow my heart rate that is rapidly spiraling out of control. Muffled voices hit my ears and on impulse, I quicken my steps. I have to get in there to be by his side.
The door’s ajar and wailing can be heard. I almost push past Caden, but he moves fast.
“I’ve got this.” My voice is strong and balanced.
He nods. “Need anything, you got Lace’s number, call and we will be here in seconds.”
Focused on entry, I keep walking, following the shrieking and yelling, even though he is still talking.
Scanning the scene, I find Ocean sitting on the floor near his couch, his father who resembles Ocean except his lighter hair color, sitting on a chair and I presume it’s his mother flailing around hysterical. Tanner is standing with his back against the wall, keeping an eye on the situation. Spotting me first, he tries to smile at me, but the drama unfolding is consuming everything.
“You killed your sister.” Arms flying and speech slurring at the end, she’s had a bit to drink.
Hands clasp over Ocean’s ears, his head down. He looks more like a small boy than a grown man.
“You and your deadly lifestyle got Melody gunned down.”
Walking over to Tanner, he places his hand on my shoulder. “She’s been raving on and on, but Ocean’s kept silent.”
“Right. It’ll be okay. I’ll work it out.” My words are stronger than my knees threatening to collapse from underneath me.
Giving me a chin lift, he kisses my cheek and leaves.
These people don’t know me from a bar of soap, but I know Ocean, and he won’t want them here.
“How could you let her be killed? She was your sister?” Howling in pain, the woman collapses on the rug.
“You make it sound like I had a choice,” screaming in agony, Ocean speaks. “She was shot in a bungled attempt at someone else. I didn’t have a fucking say in this, Mother. I didn’t pull the trigger. I wasn’t fucking there.” His head lifts marginally, his eyes red, his face showing a minuscule part of his pain eating him alive.
“If you didn’t hang around those deviants, then she wouldn’t have been at risk.”
“If you didn’t fucking drink, she would still be in Australia with you.”
The older man who looks weary, goes to the woman and I move toward Ocean.
“I think it’s best you both leave.” My back’s rigid and my words come out unbroken. “You’ve said your piece but it’s enough. Please leave.” Sternly looking at them, I don’t bat an eyelash.
I can do this for Ocean.
Body and words don’t fail me now.
The man stares at me and the woman is still wrapped up in herself, she doesn’t acknowledge me. Looking me up and down, the man finally nods and helps his wife up.
My mind is about to freak out, my legs are loosening under their scrutiny but I must keep it together.
Switching my eyes back to Ocean for a second, the agony is plastered on his face and weakened body.
Yeah, I can be a bitch for as long as it takes to remove this woman from hurting him anymore tonight.
“Why is she dead? Why is my innocent Melody gone?” With a tired face, he glances at me and takes his drunken wife away.
“Son, we will see you tomorrow at ten a.m.”
Not caring about anything they have to say, I rush to Ocean and I see it in his eyes when he realizes I’m here. A small flash of relief washes over his handsome features.
Getting down on my knees, my heart aches for this broken man. Four days he’s been alone. I should have reached out to him earlier.
“Ocean, my gorgeous man.” Cupping his head in my hands, I peer into his blurry eyes. “I’m here now.”
“Everything she says is true.” Defeated, his voice is quiet.
“Nothing she says is right. You would never hurt your sister. Everyone knows it.”
Shaking his head, his eyes stay on mine. “I should have stopped this. We all knew one day it would happen.”
“You cannot predict something like this, Ocean.” My voice is calm but inside a tornado has whipped up. “What happened was a tragic accident. I won’t have you blaming yourself.”
Closing his eyes, the smell of alcohol is strong. He needs a good night’s rest so he is able to function tomorrow. “Let’s get you to bed.”
“Are you going to take advantage of me?” A smile comes and goes.
“No.” Standing up, I brace myself against the wall and give him my arm to steady him.
“You’re repulsed by me, aren’t you?”
My stomach drops watching him pull himself apart.
“I’m a savage, Phoebe. You’ll end up dead being around me too. Good won’t come from me.” Puppy dog eyes keep a hold on mine.
Leaning into him, words can’t fix this. My lips latch on to his, my hand steadying his face. I kiss Ocean with care and tenderness. He needs this. Ocean has a right to know he is loved by me.
“I’ll take my chances.” Running my fingers through his hair, I hold his head while I look up to him. “You can’t get rid of me.”
Placing my arm around his waist, I tug on his strong body to move with me. “Time for bed.”
Wobbling next to me, Ocean’s body clashes with mine occasionally but we make it there in one piece and he slumps to the bed when I release him. Empty vodka bottles lay on the carpet, dirty clothes thrown across the floor.
“Will you stay with me?”
Unsure if it’s a good idea to wake up with him sober in the morning when he will remember who my brother is, I nod before I can say no.
Staying with Ocean is where I want to be.
“I’d love to.” Ocean is barely able to function, lying on his back, so I assist him taking his clothes off admiring his ink without him noticing.
“I’d love you to suck my cock.” Slurring, he closes his eyes.
Red stains my face and I roll my eyes. “That’s going to have to wait, stud, until you can direct me on how to do it.”
He whispers, “Thank you.”
Pulling his jeans off, he’s commando underneath. I mutter under my breath, “No, thank you.” Gazing at his length, I hope there will be a time soon it will be inside me. He doesn’t hear, thank God.
“No one’s spoken to my parents like that before.” His voice is trance-like.
“I won’t stand by and let someone berate you, Ocean. Nothing she said was true.”