I’m too stunned to argue with him as he carries Carson into the bedroom, especially since he’s right about my son’s sleep habits. It’s one of the reasons Carson stays over at Lauren’s so much.
While I wait, I plop down on the couch and begin cleaning up the mess my little tornado of a child left in his wake. I’m wiped from a long night, but it usually takes my brain a couple of hours to settle enough to finally sleep anyway. If Paul wants more information, I have enough energy left to give it to him.
He’s back quickly and sits on the edge of the small coffee table so we’re facing each other. His hair is sticking up and his stubble has grown in, his eyes still a little groggy from sleep. God, he’s sexy. He’s also my boss who just did me a huge favor. Down girl.
“Thank you again for watching Carson. I never meant to put you in a bind.”
He shakes his head slowly and I swear I see heat behind his eyes. “It’s never an inconvenience when you care about the person you’re helping.”
He grabs my hand and interlaces our fingers, the heat of his palm both burning my skin and soothing the ache of loneliness in my body. It’s been so long since someone touched me like this, without needing something from me, just to show affection. It confuses me. I know Paul is attracted to me, but he’s made it clear there can never be anything between us except friendship.
I should pull away, but I don’t want to.
“You amaze me, Kiersten,” Paul says quietly, his eyes boring into mine. “You carry so much on your shoulders, and yet you always have a smile on your face.”
“If I don’t smile, I might cry.”
“That’s what I mean. I admire your determination and strength. And you’re raising such an amazing little boy. I’ve never met anyone like you.”
“I’ve never met anyone like you either,” I admit quietly. “Who cares deeply about the people around him and wants to make them feel cared for. Even just the simple things like adding a house rule about pictures to your business.”
“Nah. That’s about keeping my customers happy so I can make money.”
I shake my head because he’s wrong. “No, that’s you sacrificing the easy marketing route of hashtags and social media so people who have limited options have a place to be.”
“You make me sound like a saint working with the disadvantaged.”
“And you make it sound like you don’t understand that having a job where a camera is in your face all the time doesn’t mean you don’t deserve anonymity sometimes, but you do.”
His thumb runs over the top of my hand as he quiets, mulling over my words. Maybe I’m biased because I’m friends with Heath and I know how vicious people can be online, but having a welcoming place to be is a treat. I don’t understand how Paul doesn’t see what a kind thing he’s doing. It’s as if his own humility trumps his ability to see himself completely. I know he thinks he’s making decisions specifically to grow a new business, but I personally think that’s why it took so long for him to put together a business plan. He had to find the right need first.
“Well,” he says, his eyes locked on the movement of his thumb. “Either way, I appreciate all your hard work.”
“Like you said earlier, it’s never an inconvenience when you care about the person you’re helping.”
His eyes snap up to meet mine and there’s something new in his eyes. Part question. Part resolve. Lots of heat.
“Kiersten.” He says my name quietly, his body beginning to slowly lean in.
“Yes?” My body responds, moving just as slowly, knowing he’s not going to stop again.
“Tell me you don’t want this.” It’s a beg. It’s a plea. It’s an understanding that if we cross this line there’s no going back.
But I can’t give him the answer he wants. Or maybe I give him the exact answer he wants. I’m as unsure as he is. The only thing I know is if tonight is all I get, I’ll take it. “I can’t say that because it wouldn’t be true.”
And then his lips are on mine. Firm and warm, exploring and tasting. When his tongue finally invades my mouth, there’s no stopping the frenzy that begins.
I climb onto Paul’s lap, thrusting my fingers into his hair and pulling him close. His arms wrap around my waist and we both groan when he presses me down harder on his straining erection. It only lasts a second before he resituates us on the couch, me on my back, him nestled between my legs as he grinds and mimicks the motion of his tongue.
Suddenly he pulls back, eyebrows drawing together. “Birth control?”
“IUD,” I answer and his body immediately slumps with relief just before he kisses me again, our movements taking on a desperation now that we both know what’s coming.
My hands leave his hair and push under his shirt, desperate to feel his warm skin. I run my hands over the muscles of his hard back, loving the feel of them flexing as he moves.
“Please take this off,” I beg, pushing at the material until he sits up long enough to pull it over his head and toss it on the floor.
He gazes down at me and I’m sucker punched with emotion. It’s been so long since someone has looked at me like I’m the most beautiful thing in the world. So long since fingertips have grazed my skin and lips have made their way back down to nip at my neck. So long since I’ve been looked at like a woman worthy of reverence. I’ve never been worshiped like this by a man who was willing to wait months as he got to know me. My lips part as the gravity of this moment hits me.
“I’ve had dreams about this,” Paul whispers as he places gentle kisses down to my collarbone. “You, underneath me, your long legs wrapped around me.”
“I’ve had the same dreams,” I admit, running my fingers through his hair again, holding him close. “Why didn’t you do anything about it?”
He pulls back just enough to make eye contact. “I never want you to feel like I’m taking advantage of you. I’m your boss but that doesn’t mean you don’t hold the power. If this isn’t something you want, just say the word.”
I pull his mouth back to mine and answer him with my kiss.
We take our time removing each other’s clothing and exploring the skin we find underneath. Paul is lean and muscular. Not bulky like the friends in my life, but strong from hard work and manual labor. He’s gentle and reverent, as only a man who has experience can be, worshiping every inch of my body. When he nips at the inside of my elbow, I gasp.
“Did I just find a sensitive spot?” he asks with an amused chuckle before biting gently at it again.
I gasp for the second time. “I didn’t know that was there. No one’s ever kissed me so thoroughly.”
A growl rumbles up from his throat. “Their loss. You taste like honey.”
I can’t help the small giggle that bursts out of me. “You mean I taste like hops. I’ve been slinging drinks all night.”
“Semantics.”
There’s no more talking after that. No words are necessary as I run my hands over his skin, and he tastes my nipples. When we’re fully naked and he finally hooks one of my knees over his arm and pushes into me, it feels like coming home.