I roll my eyes. I scold myself for being disappointed. I don’t know what I expected him to say, but the one-word reply was annoying with Cal. It’s no better with Chris but Chris should only be sending me one-word replies. He has a fiancé who gets the long replies, who gets the smile when she texts him. Those aren’t meant for me. I’m just his wife, after all. A little voice inside me tells me that title is on borrowed time. I rummage through my bed to find the television remote. There was never a TV in our bedroom when Cal was here. He said the bedroom was meant for two things, sleeping or getting put to sleep. Now the only thing that usually puts me to sleep is a Property Brothers marathon or a season of Real Housewives.
I watch about half an episode before falling asleep and the alert goes off again. I grab it and a smile creeps across my face when I see it.
How are you?
I type back thinking of you and immediately erase it. He wants to know how I’m doing. That’s a first for us. A good sign, right? Or maybe he’s just being polite.
Had a good day. Nick Jr., gym, good Chinese food. What more can a girl ask for ;)
I send it and think that it was too much. Ugh. I feel like I’m in high school, overanalyzing a simple sentence. Then my alert goes off again.
One to ten. How good was the Chinese food?
I laugh at that, remembering how much he ate while I was with him last time. I quickly type:
You sure you want to know?
UGH That GOOD Huh?
LOL. Yes. THAT Good.
Our Chinese food sucks here :(
I roll over on my stomach and glance at the mirror, seeing a goofy smile on my face. I haven’t seen that smile in a while. I get butterflies in my stomach when the message goes off again.
Are you busy?
I wonder why he asks that?
He’s probably about to call.
No he’s not going to call me. He knows Caylen’s sleep now. Or maybe he doesn’t. Before I get hopelessly optimistic, I decide to avoid the disappointment.
Caylen’s asleep right now.
A few moments’ pass and I’m disappointed when my alert doesn’t go off. He was texting so quickly before. I lay my head on the pillow and feel myself pouting when my door bursts open. I almost jump out of my skin.
“What’s up, hun!” It’s Hillary. Of course it is. She barges through closed doors like no one else can.
“What’s wrong? You look like you lost your best friend.” She chuckles before flopping on my bed across from me. “And that can’t be true since I’m right here,” she says, slapping me on the butt.
“Waiting on Garret again?” I tease.
“Of course. You know I need my evening cardio.” She giggles. Hillary is one of the only women I know who manages to meet a guy wherever she goes. I’d been going to my gym four days a week for the past year and never saw Garett. The day she goes, he turns out to be a new fitness trainer, tall, attractive, muscular and athletic. Hillary spotted him the moment he walked in.
“God, your bed is so amazing,” she says in an exaggerated tone.
“He’s going to get fired if they catch you guys,” I laugh.
“Don’t be a hater, Lauren. I told you, you could borrow him if you want,” she says, nudging me.
“No thanks.” I roll my eyes at her.
“I can’t believe this bed isn’t getting any action. You should let us borrow this,” she says, rolling on her stomach and lifting her wiggling butt in the air.
“Eww, Hillary you’re disgusting” I say, attempting to push her out of my bed. My phone rings. My heart skips a beat when I see it’s Chris. He’s calling! I glance over at Hillary, who’s eyeing me suspiciously.
“Are you going to get that?” She chuckles. I cannot answer while Hillary’s here. She looks at me suspiciously.
“Oh, I’ve got to see whose call can get that look on your face,” she teases. We both reach for my phone and she gets to it first. She frowns immediately.
“Oh, Lauren. NOO,” she says. I jump off the bed to retrieve my phone but she puts it behind her back.
“Hillary, give me my phone and a little privacy,” I demand.
“Isn’t he still with that girl?” she says pointedly.
“He’s Caylen’s dad. What does that have to do with anything?”
“He’s calling to talk to you about Caylen?” she says sarcastically.
“I don’t know because I haven’t answered the phone. Give it to me.” I grab her arm and force the phone out of her hand. It’s stopped ringing.
“Don’t do this to yourself, Lauren,” she says, whining.
“Do what? What am I doing?!”I say, throwing my hands up, exasperated. She shakes her head and folds her arms, eerily similar to Raven this morning.
“You know exactly what I’m talking about. What happened to moving on, leaving the past in the past? Just having a relationship for Caylen?”
“Who says I’m not doing that?!” I laugh in disbelief. I know I’m not but they don’t know I’m not.
“Your face says it all!” I can’t be that easy to read.
“Hun. Don’t do this. I see this going so badly, and you know, if anyone knows disaster waiting to happen, it’s me,” she says, pointing to herself. I roll my eyes.
“I just want to be his friend. Can I at least be his friend?” I say defensively. Hillary sighs.
“Friends, Lauren? Really? What are you going to do, be his best man at his wedding after he divorces you and marries that other chick?” I feel my breath catch in my throat and Hillary looks down at her feet guiltily.
“Okay that was harsh.” She steps towards me and I step back. I feel tears in my eyes and my jaw stiffens.
“You know what, Hillary, you screw a lot of guys—a whole lot of fucking guys. And you know what I think? I think it’s stupid and dangerous and you deserve better!” I spit back at her. Her eyes narrow in on mine.
“Say what you want but I’m happy with my life. I know exactly what I want from the men that I choose to deal with. I don’t have any secret agendas or unrealistic expectations. When things don’t work out for me it doesn’t break me. That’s the difference between us. If I fuck five guys tonight and they don’t call me, I don’t give a flying fuck. I won’t shut down. It won’t immobilize me. If this goes wrong, can you say the same thing?” She walks to my door and turns around before she leaves.
“And FYI, what I tell you is because I care. Because you’re my best friend, not to be a bitch to you when you’re saying something I don’t want to hear,” she says quietly before leaving the room and closing the door behind her. I sit down on my bed and look at the missed call. The text alert goes off again. It’s Chris. I suddenly don’t feel as excited to get his text messages anymore.
Chapter 33
Chris
She hasn’t responded. She didn’t pick up her phone when I called either. She always responds right away whenever I text her. Usually I'm asking about Caylen or to see if our Skype time is okay. This was different though. This time I wanted to talk to her. We haven’t really talked since they’ve been gone these past two weeks. Well, when we Skype, we talk, but it’s pretty much about Caylen. Still, I watch her, how she is with Caylen, how much she loves her. I notice the way she smiles, how her hair falls in her face, the little giggle she does. Even though she’s usually just wearing sweats or a t-shirt with a ponytail, she’s beautiful.