“It’s not that I don’t trust her,” I sigh, running my hands over my face.
“I want her to love me for me,” I say quietly. “Not for who I was. Not for who everyone thinks I should be.”
“I don’t want her to look at me like I’m some broken man, the way everyone else does.”
“If she loves you, really loves you, she’ll understand,” he tells me squeezing my shoulder.
“If you don’t tell her, this is going to go bad. And I’m not going to fix any of it. You’re on your own.”
“The medicine’s working,” I tell him adamantly.
“So that’s what you’re placing all your cards on. A medicine that’s still under trial, that you’re the test subject for?” he asks.
“You bet on Helen, I’m betting on her too,” I retort. He shakes his head.
“Starting your marriage on secrets and lies doesn’t make for the most stable foundation,” he sighs.
“So that’s not what yours and Helen’s marriage is based on?” I laugh and he scoffs like he’s offended.
“Of course not. We have tons and secrets between us but they are not ours, only other peoples,” he says, squeezing my shoulder before walking away from me and back into the crowd.
I let out a deep groan. I don’t drink but I’ve never wanted a stiff drink more than I do right now. I glance at my watch, this is fucking boring. My life almost just fell apart and I need something to distract me, I need something to intoxicate me but it won’t be anything in a bottle, but a slinky little grey dress. I work my way through the crowd avoiding meaningless conversations with people I don’t even like. It takes me about twenty minutes before I bump into Angela who's wobbling a bit having had a few too many drinks herself. She grabs my arm and pulls me into a dance.
“You and I need to talk mister,” she says, her words a bit slurred.
“How can I help you?” I joke back. Angela’s one of the few people I like. She’s smart, funny and straight forward and I know she’d go to war for Lauren which makes her okay in my book.
“L really loves you,” she says sternly.
“Well I’d hope she does,” I kid with her.
“No. I’m serious,” she pouts. “She’s never loved a guy how she loves you. You’ve changed her.” She says the last part off handedly.
“What do you mean?” I ask as she pulls my arm for me to spin her around.
“She’s grown up, not the same naïve girl who got off the bus from Michigan,” she says, stopping her dance and motioning for me to follow her away from the dance floor. Once we are we sit down at an empty table.
“You know we didn’t know what to think of you and her at first. I will admit I didn’t think you could give her what she wanted,” she continues and I wonder if this girl is a mind reader.
“I want to give her everything she wants,” I say simply.
“Good. Because she deserves it,” she says, the slur almost gone from her voice.
“A guy like you could break a girl’s heart,” she says, standing up before she squeezes my shoulder. “But you wouldn’t do that, right?” she says in my ear before gliding back onto the dance floor.
I wouldn’t do that. I can’t do that.
I maneuver throughout the hall and spot Lauren grabbing a glass of champagne and heading up the stairs to the second level. I quicken my pace to catch up with her. The second floor is virtually empty. Since everyone is on the main floor, I know she must be as over this as I am. She walks to the end of the hall where it’s dimly lit and sits at a table alone. I take a deep breath and walk toward her.
“Drinking alone isn’t good,” I wink at her.
“Well it’s a good thing you’re here then,” she says sarcastically.
“To you,” she says, lifting her glass briefly before downing the champagne. She stands as I near the table and starts to walk past me. I grab her wrist and she lets out a deep sigh.
“Really Lauren? You’re going to act like this at our engagement party?” I ask.
“How should I be acting Cal?” she asks, wryly. I step closer to her and whisper in her ear
“Like the sight of me makes you wet.”
“You are disgusting,” she says but I can hear the slightest amusement in her voice.
“I have to know if I’m right,” I tell her pressing her up against the wall. She stops my hand as it starts to creep under her dress.
“Am I really enough for you Cal? Just me, one woman for the rest of your life?” she asks me. I can hear the sincerity in her voice, her eyes revealing everything, and it hits me. She thinks that Gwen could have been another woman. I have to lean down so we’re face to face. She’s in her come fuck me pumps, they’re tall but she still only comes to my chest.
“You’re it for me. Right now, tomorrow, always.” I tell her and her smile is back, the distance is gone and she’s mine again. She kisses me like she missed me. She moans in my ear as I push her underwear to the side and slip my finger inside of her.
“We’re going to get caught,” she pants.
“You want to be more discreet I take it?” I ask her sarcastically and she nods her head while licking her lips. I grab her hand and pull her to the table she was sitting at before and her eyebrow raises.
“Have a seat Ms. Brooks,” I say, gesturing to the chair she was sitting in. She eyes me suspiciously with a smirk but sits down. I walk behind her and push her chair underneath the table.
“What are you up to?” she laughs. I wink at her and take off my jacket and hand it to her before lifting the thick grey table cloth up and climbing underneath it.
“Should I climb under there with you?” she giggles.
“Nope, just sit back and relax,” I tell her as I move her legs apart.
“Cal no!” she says trying to shut them.
“Have a drink Lauren. I’m about to,” I tell as my tongue slides up her thigh.
“Oh my God,” she says nervously. I see her hands making sure the table cloth covers her lap as I tug her underwear down.
“Cal this is so bad,” she purrs, as my tongue finds its way inside her.
“What if someone…” she says tightly as she melts around me. She doesn’t finish her sentence as her hands grip my hair.
I start to go faster, and glance at my watch. I can usually get her off in about five minutes tops if I really wanted to, it only takes longer if I want to tease her, but since I know she’s scared as hell of getting caught I won’t do that right now.
“Cal,” she pants out, trying to be quiet. The little whimpering sounds she’s making has me thinking that pulling her under the table might not be such a bad idea.
“Shit,” she says as her legs start to get tighter around my neck and I know she’s almost there.
I hear her phone vibrating on the table.
“It’s Helen. They’re probably looking for us,” she cries.
“They’re probably c-coming,” she says digging into my shoulder, her legs start to shake and her body goes limp. I climb out from under the table and take a seat next to her. Her eyes are closed but the smile on her face is priceless.