“Let her get her bearings. There has to be a reason she hasn’t come in yet. We don’t want to ambush the girl,” my dad says calmly as he reads his newspaper.
My mom walks over to him and glances over his shoulder. She then gives him a playful nudge.
“William Scott, you can act as calm as you want. You’ve been reading that same page of the newspaper for the past half hour,” my mom teases him. He rolls his eyes, dismissing my mom, but a smile spreads across his face.
“I can’t believe they’re here. My granddaughter is here!” she sings, running over to me and giving me a big hug. I can’t help but laugh. She hasn’t been this excited about things in a while.
“I can’t wait. I can’t wait,” she sings, peering out of the window again. My dad gets up and pats me on the back.
“Are you okay, son?” he asks, his voice concerned but cheerful. The mood in the house has completely reversed since the last time Lauren graced our doorway.
“Yeah,” I squeak out, not recognizing my own voice. I sound like I’m twelve. I laugh, rubbing the back of my neck. I joke about my mom, but I’m just as excited as she is, just a hundred times more nervous. Somehow, I am managing to stay still. My dad arches an eyebrow at me. Then he walks over to my mom, clasping her shoulders.
“She’s getting out of the car!” she announces excitedly.
“Honey, I think you and I should go in the kitchen,” he says, taking her hand. She whips around, confusion on her face
“Why would we do that? They’re about to come in,” she says, pointing toward the window.
“I know. I just think maybe we should give them a few minutes alone first. This is a private moment,” he informs my mom, who, I think, is pouting.
“B-but I’m the grandmother,” she asserts.
“Of course you are, and I know you’re ready to coddle and spoil that little girl to pieces, but let’s give Chris a little time. Let’s allow him to meet his daughter first,” my dad says calmly. My mom looks so disappointed, but she sighs, a small smile returning to her face.
“That’s why I love your father, Chris. When I’m flying off the handle, he’s there to pull me back to earth,” she says and kisses my dad on the cheek.
“We’ll just be in the back,” she says, then gives me a hug, squeezing me tight.
“I’ll try not to take long Mom,” I promise her, squeezing her back. She gently pats my arm, and she and dad slip out of the room. I take a deep breath and open the door to an entirely new stage of my life. I walk down the porch, my feet feel like they're a thousand pounds each. My heart speeds up as I see my little one making her way toward the house. Her steps are quick and chaotic. She has curly brown hair separated in two pigtails, and wide green eyes. She’s like a walking doll, and I've never wanted to hold anything more in my life.
Is this real? This is my daughter? I squeeze the penguin I bought for her as she and her mom make their way onto the sidewalk. Lauren’s eyes are watery, and she’s smiling, her lips pressed tightly together.
“Hi,” she says, her voice a little shaky and high-pitched. She sounds as nervous as I feel, but she looks amazing. Her hair is pulled back in a low ponytail, but her skin is vibrant, her eyes no longer puffy. The sunlight is bouncing off her eyes, causing them to sparkle.
“Hey,” I respond, my own voice a little shaky. Lauren lets go of Caylen’s hand, and she makes her way over to me. My daughter looks at me with the same magnetic pull her mom has. She smiles, and I’m in love. She reaches up for the penguin I’m holding, and I realize that it’s the toy she’s mesmerized by, and not me. I’m a little jealous.
“Umm, my friend’s daughter loves the penguins in the Madagascar movie. I thought she’d like it.” I glance up at Lauren.
“She watches that movie all the time,” she replies.
“I’m glad I made a good choice,” I squat down so I’m near Caylen’s eye level. “I thought you might like this,” I say, holding the stuffed animal out to her.
“Pepe!” she says excitedly, taking the penguin from my hand and stuffing it in her mouth. She looks so much like my baby pictures. This little person is mine, right here in front of me. The feeling of having someone who shares my genes, connected by blood. I’ve never shared that with anyone before.
“I’m Chris, Caylen,” I say with a smile, blinking away the hot tears in my eyes. But Caylen’s smile makes more tears come. I quickly wipe them away. Lauren walks closer me. She gently touches my shoulder, and Caylen grabs my face, giggling. I laugh.
“Caylen, this is your daddy,” Lauren’s words come out of nowhere. I’ve never been so grateful to hear anything in my life.
“Thank you, Lauren.” I hope that she can see that I truly mean it. I’m grateful that she brought this little girl into my life. That she’s kept her safe, and done it on her own, without any of my help. For the first time, I hope that the vision I had last night wasn’t just a dream, that those words he said to her were genuine. I hope that Cal and Lauren were in love. I hope more than anything that Caylen was made out of love. For a second there’s an intense pressure in my head but in an instant, it’s gone. I shake the feeling away, and look up at Lauren, whose eyes are wide and her body completely still.
“Lauren,” I say, my voice slightly raised. She looks like she’s seen a ghost. After a second, she snaps out of it. She lets out a breath and moves toward me. She brings her hand to my cheek. It’s soft and warm, and strangely calming, but the gleam in her eyes makes me nervous.
“Is everything okay?” I ask her, and she nods, taking her hand back. I want to tell her that everything is going to be okay. I’ll the best father I can for our daughter. The hurt that’s hiding behind her eyes I can’t erase, but I will do everything in my power to make sure I never hurt her like that. I can’t be who she wants me to be, but I’ll be the best man that I can―that I know how to be.
Chapter 26
It takes less than two minutes before my mom bursts out of the house and onto the porch. She hugs me, then Lauren, and snatches up Caylen in her arms. She ushers us into the house. Then my phone rings.
It’s Dexter. I feel my blood pressure start to rise just seeing his name. I’ve called him a thousand times, and now he decides to call back. I quickly excuse myself from the room and step on the front porch. I wrap the phone tightly in my hand and let out a deep breath before answering.
“Chris, I presume?” he says, his tone slightly amused, and it makes me want to hang up the phone right then and there.
“Very funny, Dexter,” I say tightly, trying to maintain my composure.
“I think it’s time we had a little chat. Don’t you?”
“I think it’s long overdue,” I reply. I see Dexter’s limo pull up. He lets the window down and I see his wide smile.
“You picked the perfect time to show up. Want to come in, grab a drink?” I ask sarcastically.
“That won’t be necessary,” he says, opening the door for me, and I begrudgingly get in and feel the car pull off.
“So, the cat’s been let out of the bag, so to speak?” he asks, closing his laptop. “I can imagine how liberated you must feel. I personally feel like a burden’s been lifted from me,” he takes a sip from his water bottle. “You know I’m not one who enjoys keeping secrets,” he chuckles, and I want to punch the sarcasm right out of him. “You’re pretty quiet. You called me quite a bit. I’d think you’d have a thousand questions for me,” he says, leaning back into his seat.