He instantly turns away and shakes his head. “That’s not important…”
“When, Shay?”
He pauses for a second or two before he spills, “I was ten.”
“Ten!” I practically screech. “You big hypocrite!”
“And I was too young!” he goes on. “And it’s different for you. You’re a girl.”
Instantly, I give him a death glare. “And what the hell is that supposed to mean?”
He shrugs and leans back against the building. “You just need to be more careful, you know? I saw Jordan creeping on you. I was two seconds away from storming over and kicking his face in.” His tone instantly darkens and he spits on the ground. “Dirty motherfucker…”
“Shay!” I scold him. After hearing what the other girls said about him knifing someone, I’m suddenly nervous for Jordan. As much as he creeps me out, it’s not enough for me to want to see him cut up by my big brother on my birthday. Good thing Jordan didn’t push it too far or he’d be in pieces right now.
“It’s true. You’re thirteen! That fucker is almost nineteen. If I see him go near you again, Cody, Aron, Gavin, and I are taking him to the woods for a fucking talk.”
I shiver at the threat in his words. It scares me. For a moment, I think I see what the other girls were talking about. Shay’s hostile stare is fixed on Jordan, who is standing off to the side with some friends, eyeing the young girls dancing to the music. The thought, if looks could kill, runs through my head as I watch Shay study Jordan, looking like he was debating on dragging him out to the woods anyway.
I tug at the sleeve of his t-shirt and he slowly looks back to me. I know what he’s thinking of. The BBQ all those years ago when that altercation happened in the woods with Keenan Mathers. It had scared the crap out of him. After that, Shay practically escorted me everywhere for almost a full year before he felt safe enough to back off a bit. Most likely, seeing Jordan getting too close to me had reminded him of that old confrontation.
I wrap my arms around his waist and rest my head against his chest, his dog tags pressing into my forehead. I hug him tightly and after a minute, I feel his own, muscled arms slowly rise up and embrace me back. We hug for a long time, slowly rocking side to side in the shadows, listening to the music in the distance. I feel his anger slip away as the tension leaves him and soon, he’s the old Shay… the one I love so much. My best friend.
He releases a long sigh and lets me go before rubbing his face hard. “Sorry about that, Sweetness.” When he looks down at me again, his rare smirk is back. “Well, I think it’s just about that time…”
“What time?” I furrow my brows as he takes my hand and leads me from our hiding spot. We walk around the patio to where the crowd is gathered at one of the tables.
“There she is!” Uncle Shawn bellows out, pointing my way. I watch as the rest of them disperse a bit, and I see a two-tiered ice blue cake, covered in candles and white sugar roses, waiting for me. I skip forward, still holding Shay’s hand and everyone starts singing happy birthday. I smile as I look around at all the faces of those singing. All of those who were here to support me. I see James standing close by, beaming wide as the light from the candles casts a glow on his face in the semi-darkness. I try to spot Mum in the crowd, but she’s nowhere to be seen.
Before I can feel my heart sink, Shay’s hand gives mine a tight squeeze. I glance up at him and he nods to me. Mum might not be here right now, but all of these people are. I should consider myself lucky. I gaze down at the beautiful cake that Raya made for me. It’s beautiful. She is one of those singing the loudest and she claps like crazy when I close my eyes and blow out the candles.
“What’d you wish for, darlin’?” Billy calls out from across the table.
“You idiot!” his wife, Margie, smacks the back of his head. “You don’t ask what someone wishes for when they blow out candles! If she tells you, it won’t come true.”
I consider what she said. It’s an old tradition, total BS, honestly. But just in case, I promise to keep my wish to myself. Maybe one day, I’ll see him again…
Present Day
Mina: Sixteen Years Old
June
When I wake up in the morning, I’m alone in my bed and from the kitchen, I can hear Shay and James talking to each other. Rubbing my eyes, I stretch out, grumbling to myself when my leg gives me a twinge of pain. Normally, I’d just hop out of bed, do some morning stretches (the ballerina in me would have insisted), brushed up, taken a shower, and would have then skipped out to the kitchen and joined my family for breakfast.
Now, however, I unsteadily shift myself, reach for my crutches, and slowly rise to my feet, careful as I focus to keep my balance. No morning stretches or workout. No shower. All I can do is dress myself, but I can’t even wear real clothes with this damned cast. So I changed into a bra and light blue t-shirt, kept on my sweats, then hobbled out of my room and into the washroom, almost slamming the door behind myself. My mood was already sour and I’ve only been up for ten minutes. My ability to control my emotions was wearing thin. I try my best to swallow back my disappointment, my anger, sadness, and grief… but I felt like I was getting close to cracking any day now. I don’t want to lose it. If I do, I’ll have to face the shit-show that my life has become, and I’m not ready for that. So I keep it bottled up, brush my teeth, spray and comb my hair with dry shampoo, and meander out to the kitchen area.
James is standing in the kitchenette, leaning against the counter with a cup of coffee in one hand and a cigarette in the other. His eyes are red and he hadn’t shaved, so his greying whiskers were overgrown and messy. He looked like he hadn’t slept at all last night.
“Morning, Baby Girl,” he said, noticing me as I slowly made my way in.
“Mmmm,” I mumble, trudging over to the fridge. Most days when I wake up, it takes me some time to shed the damaged feelings that cover me like a film. Every morning, it’s the same thing. I open my eyes, and I’m immediately assaulted with all the dark, depressing thoughts that I fight back each day.
I open the fridge and grab the orange juice when Shay’s voice practically purrs right into my ear, “Hey there, Sweetness.”
Suddenly, my memories from last night come rushing back…
Me touching myself… Shay coming home for dinner… dancing with him… the spanking! As if I needed another reminder, my backside gives a little twinge of pain at the memory.
I close the fridge and peer over my shoulder to see Shay leaning against the support beam at my left side. His silver eyes are locked onto me, and I instantly feel my face heat. I feel like a jumpy little rabbit right now, facing off against a wolf. Overcome with shyness, I duck my head and grab a glass to pour my juice into, and move away, not ready to face all of this just yet.
“Mina,” James speaks up, sounding as tired as he looks. “I’m sorry about last night.”
“It’s okay,” I tell him as I sip my juice. “Shay said Uncle Shawn called for a last minute Church meeting, right?”
He nods, wearily sagging against the counter again. “Look, Baby Girl,” James’s voice is raspy as he speaks, as though he’s been shouting all night. “I want to throw you a birthday party next Saturday. We can have it at the club-”