“I really don’t know about having a party,” I say hesitantly. What I don’t tell him is that the last place I want to celebrate my birthday is at the Celtic Beasts Clubhouse. The last time I was there, well, let’s just say it was not something I could ever forget. I wish I could have burned my eyes out after that. But also, being in a crowd of people again, as lonely as I am, it makes me feel a little nervous. It’d be so easy for someone to slip through the mass, dressed as a biker, in order to get close to me so they can… No, Mina! You’re being paranoid!
James winces ever so slightly. “Everyone wants to see you.”
I tilt my head back as I stare up at the ceiling, my emotions becoming messy and entangled. He knows how put off I am about going there. I’ve been avoiding it for nearly four years now. But at the same time, I don’t want to make him feel bad about it. James is my only parental figure that I have left. “I know, I know! But… my stupid leg, I’m tired all the time, I…” my voice trails off as I try to think of more feasible excuses. I don’t mention that I’m semi-terrified of the idea of being in a huge group of people, where anyone can easily get to me...
I hear Shay tentatively step close and his arms encircle around my shoulders. He presses his face into the side of my neck and gives me a gentle squeeze. “It will be great, Sweetness. The place has been fully renovated. We’ll set up a seat of honor for you, so you don’t have to worry about walking around on your crutches. We’ll have a potluck. All you have to do is show up, sit, and eat.”
I peer over to the kitchenette and feel instant remorse at the sight of James, his expression heavy and hurting. Timidly, I peer back at Shay, and instantly melt. They both had the puppy-dog look down. I tell myself that if it weren’t for the Beasts, I might not be alive right now. They arrived before those men could take me to… whoever it was that sent them.
If it weren’t for them, you probably wouldn’t have been attacked in the first place, nasty bitch is back. But this time, I agree with her. And your mum wouldn’t be… Fuck, no! No! Don’t think about Mum! Don’t think about what they did to her! What you saw…
Shay snaps me out of my tortured thoughts by giving my cheek a kiss before nuzzling my neck again. “Please, Mina? Let’s have your birthday at the club. Let us spoil the shit out of you for your seventeenth. I’ll stay with you all night. The guys and I. We’ll play some pool, eat some food, and have a great time. What do you say?” Despite how confused I am about last night, I feel my worries subside. Any time Shay was like this with me, what with his hugs, his tenderness, and honest affection, it always turned me to mush. No one else has the ability to make me feel so wanted or cherished. Like last night, he always knows how to make me feel special and wanted. And here he was, doing it again for my birthday, promising to be there with me. I knew I couldn’t refuse them.
“Okay then,” I mumble and reach up, gripping one of his forearms that was draped across my chest. His face lights up and he gives my cheek another kiss. A smile tugs at my lips, glad that I made him happy. James perks up, too, looking genuinely pleased, and I immediately feel guilty for even pushing back at the idea of celebrating at their clubhouse.
“Great! Helen and Raya have been asking me for weeks to convince you to have the party there. Just with everything that happened…” James’ voice trails off, his excited expression falls for just a second before he quickly composes himself, “… anyways, they’re going to decorate the place and get the food together, so all you gotta do is show up, Baby Girl.”
“Well, with this cement block on my leg, I can hardly help put up streamers and balloons and shit,” I muttered, glaring down at my leg.
James chuckled. “It’ll be great. You’ll see.”
The door to my room opens, the creak waking me.
It had been a nice day at home. James had fired up the barbeque, cooking us some burgers and hot dogs, while Shay and I played one of our old board games. All day I’d been watching him, trying to figure out where his thoughts were. He didn’t mention or even hint or tease about last night. Whatever that had been, he seems to have moved on from it. And if he wasn’t going to mention it, then I certainly wasn’t.
I guess I was more of a hindrance than help after we had dinner, as I hobbled around the kitchen area, trying to help clean up one handed while attempting to balance on one foot. I shouldn’t have had any problems with it, what with my ballet training, but the weight of it threw me off. So when I dropped a plate, the salt shaker, which exploded open, and accidentally crushed James’ toe with the tip of my crutch, Shay picked me up and unceremoniously dumped me on the couch. I noticed that he made sure I landed on my side, and not on my tender ass, but that was the only sign that he even remembered the spanking and touching he’d done to me.
When they’d finished wiping everything down, we all relaxed in the sitting room, and even though it was a warm night, James lit the fire in the stone fireplace, and we ended up watching one of our old favourite movies, True Lies.
Last night, Shay had been so intimate, but today, he’s back to how he was before. All day today, his touches were the same as they had been before. His hugs, kisses on my cheeks, or the way he’d carry me around, he was like the old Shay. So I allowed myself to easily fall back into our comfortable camaraderie as we joked with each other. If he wasn’t going to talk about what had happened, then I wasn’t going to. I was going to take any version of Shay I could right now, except “Manic” Shay, that is.
Now, I was lying in bed, the lights out, waiting for him to finish talking to James about club stuff before coming to join me. It was a given that he slept in here now, what with my constant nightmares and terrified, paranoid thoughts of shadowed figures coming to get me. I feigned sleep, watching him through my lashes as the soft, warm glow of my nightlight scarcely illuminated his features. Shay removed his shirt, revealing his cut stomach and tattooed arms. I heard the clank of his belt buckle as his pants hit the floor before he climbed into bed with me.
He rolled towards me and rested his head on his hand, leaning forward on his elbow. He watched me, his eyes shadowed, and his lips tight as he tilted his head to the side, as though studying me with a new sort of interest. I couldn’t tell for sure in the low light, but his look seemed almost greedy and fervent. Slowly, he reached out until his fingers lightly touched my chin, and his thumb came up to brush over my bottom lip.
Whooooa… any sign of drowsiness I’d been feeling before was now gone. My heart started to pound as his hand drifted down the side of my throat, his touch featherlight. He shifted a bit so that he could lean forward, partially over my figure, as I lay frozen in the bed. Gradually, he moved closer, until his nose was skimming along my jaw. My stomach skipped about and my palms were starting to sweat. Holy crap, what was happening? “Shay?” I whispered.
He didn’t jolt away. Instead, he continued to run his fingers up and down the side of my throat, and lightly slid the tip of his nose to the spot just below my ear. My body shivered involuntarily, and I felt his lips curve up in a smile against my neck at my response.
“Shhh… it’s okay, Sweetness…” he murmured, his breath warm against my skin.